和妹子约会时,给你的十大建议(1)

When you starting dating someone new, the possibility always exists that your budding relationship could lead to a permanent commitment. Given this possibility, you want to leave nothing to chance about your future or that of your family if you and the girl you have begun dating get married or have children together. As you contemplate whether or not to ask her out, you should know these 10 things about a girl before dating her.

当你与某人开始约会时，初识的怦然心动渐至日久情深，最终你可能就这么被拖进了婚姻的坟墓。鉴于这一可能性，如果你与这个女孩可以修成正果从此走上人生巅峰，那么你一定不想在未来的某个日子里突然“被小三”或者“喜当爹”。所以，在考虑要不要约她出去前，请务必了解以下10件关于这个女孩的事情。

tionship Status

10.男女关系情况

This tip may seem rather obvious; however, some ladies may not be upfront with you about their real relationship status. They could be wanting to start an illicit affair behind their partner or spouse's back. They also may be on a relationship hiatus, but not fully available for a long-term commitment because of the possibility that their former boyfriend or spouse wanting to get back together. Either way, taking the time to pose this question to a girl that you are interested in dating can save you future heartache and emotional turmoil later. You should not assume that this girl will want to be with you exclusively even if she is in a romance with someone else.

这则贴士的含义显而易见，然而，有些女人可能不会对你坦白她真实的感情状况。她们可能只是想背着配偶来段婚外恋，或是正处于感情空窗期，还抱有前男友或前夫会回头的幻想,想来段不以结婚为目的的恋爱。不管是哪种情况，你都有必要花点时间跟你的意中人聊聊这些问题，这样可以避免日后出现令人头疼的局面或感情的变数。如果你的意中人正跟别人热恋，那你就别幻想着她有朝一日能死心塌地跟你在一起啦。

In fact, as silly as it may seem, you would fare well to ask a girl that you want to ask out if she is seeing or dating anyone exclusively. If she answers that she is seeing someone else, but open to dating you, you may proceed with caution and gauge your time with her accordingly to avoid any romantic complications. If she answers that she is not in a relationship with anyone, you can then proceed as you normally would in a new dating situation. When you have this information upfront, you can can figure out if asking her out is worth your time and effort.

事实上，询问你想勾搭的女生是否名花有主似乎是一件很愚蠢的事情。如果她回答说自己正和别人谈着，但也可以给你个机会，那么你就得谨慎行事，并合计一下你们可以约会的时间。若是她表示现在还是单身狗，那么你就可以照常开展一段新的恋情。在正式开始约会前了解这些信息，你就知道该不该为了这段恋情付出时间和精力了。

It can be difficult to know if someone is available for dating exclusively or not if you are not friends with this person or in that individual's same circle of acquaintances. In this situation, you should trust your gut instincts and look for signs that this person may be dating someone else in addition to you. Further, if you both are new to each other, you should proceed slowly and get to know that person very well before taking your romance to the next level.

如果你不是她的朋友，或只是与她的朋友圈有所交集，要了解她是否有恋人其实是一件很难的事情。在这种情况下，你应该相信自己的直觉，寻找她与别人约会的蛛丝马迹。长远的来说，在你俩还不熟的时候，别陷进这段感情，不妨先放慢进度，相识相知方可水到渠成。

9.年龄

Good manners dictate that a man should never ask a woman about her age. However, if you are unsure whether or not she is a minor, it is always best to err on the side of good judgment instead of good manners. Each state has different age of consent laws, which puts you at risk of committing a felony if you become seriously involved with someone who is underage. If the girl you want to ask out looks like she could be under the age of consent in your state, you should ask how old she is to protect yourself legally.

有教养的男人是永远不会向女士询问年龄的。然而如果你不确定她是否已成年，比起保持风度矜持不问，还是“失礼”地坚守自己理性的判断较为明智。各州的法律对年龄的规定都不尽相同，这就导致你若是与未到法定年龄的女孩纠缠不清，会面临触犯重罪的危险。如果你想约的女孩看上去很“嫩”，即有可能未达到你所在州的法定年龄，为了避开“雷区”，你还是问一下女孩的年龄吧。

Again, you can get this information from outside sources if you and she belong to the same circle of friends or acquaintances. However, if you are both unknown to each other, it would not be out of place to explain to her your concerns and gently insist that you be assured of her age before asking her out. If she refuses, you can chalk up her denial of your request as her loss rather than yours. If she agrees and shows you an identification card or some other proof of her age, you can take it as a sign that she is perhaps flattered and willing to go out with you after all.

同理，你和她有共同好友或是朋友圈有交集的话，也可以从这些外来资源中获取你想要的信息。当然啦，你俩之前没有交集的话，那就得向她说明你的担忧并委婉地坚持一下自己的立场：为了保险起见，还是得先问清年龄再考虑约会的事。如果她拒绝回答，那么你要坚信她拒绝你的请求就是她的损失。如果她同意回答并给你看了身份证或任何可以证明她年龄的证据，这就表明她在讨好你，也很乐意跟你约会。

It is well known in today's media that young girls lie about their ages all the time to get the attention of older teenage boys and men. Rather than get into a legal mess that could alter your future in devastating ways, you should make it a point to make sure that the girl you want to date is truly above that age of consent mark in your state. If she works with you or goes to college, for example, you can safely assume that she is of legal age. However, if you both are unknown to each other and meet by a chance encounter, you must use other tactics to ensure that this girl is genuinely and legally available for dating.

众所周知，在现今的传媒生活中，小姑娘们为了吸引心智成熟的男性，总是会谎报自己的年龄。你应该时刻牢记，确保你想约的女孩的真实年龄超过所在州规定的年龄，如若不然，你将陷入一场法律纠纷，自毁前程。如果她是你同事或是校友，那就不必担心她的年龄问题了。但是你们俩若是意外邂逅的关系的话，那你还是得旁敲侧击，确保这个女孩达到法定年龄。

inal History

8.犯罪史

Your legal future may not solely be tied up in whether or not the girl you are interested in is above the age of consent. It also may depend on what kind of criminal history she has. In the perfect scenario, the girl you want to date would have a clean criminal record and not even the slightest traffic infraction on it. However, statistics show that more people than ever have at least one arrest on their record, giving way to the chances that the girl you want to ask out has some sort of criminal past.

未来你想没有麻烦也许不仅仅和你约会的女孩年龄相关，也取决于她有什么样的犯罪史。最好是你想约会的那个女孩很清白，甚至连交通违章都没有过。然而，数据表明，比以前更多的人都至少有一条被捕记录，所以你想要约会的女孩如果有犯罪记录，还是给她个机会吧。

If the infraction was minor, such as speeding or littering, it more than likely will have little bearing on your possible future with her. However, if she has previously been arrested for drug possession, DUI, identity theft, assault, or some other serious charge, she may compromise your future significantly if you and she forge ahead with a relationship. Many people who have arrest records find it difficult to get a job, secure housing, and live a normal life after they have been released from jail or probation. Her inability to get a job or even approved for an apartment could leave you with the security you need to build a life with her.

如果是小违章的话，比如超速或者乱扔垃圾，对你的未来不会有什么影响。然而，如果她之前因为藏毒被捕，酒后驾车，身份盗窃，人身攻击或者其他一些严重的指控，如果你执意要和她发展下去，可能会严重影响你的未来。大多有过逮捕记录的人出狱后或在缓刑期间很难找到工作，住房得不到保障，无法过上正常的生活。她想给你安全感，却连工作都没有，房子也没有，你还怎么和她生活下去呢。

Further, depending on the nature of her crime and how well she has been rehabilitated, the possibility always exists that she could reoffend. You could inadvertently be putting yourself at risk of being an accomplice to her crimes or at least having knowledge about her behavior. You may be questioned by the police and cast in a suspicious light, which puts the burden on you to prove your own innocence. Before you ask out the girl you are interested in, you should verify if she has a criminal background. You can do this by researching online or checking the county court records in your city.

此外，根据她犯罪的性质以及她洗心革面的程度，她再犯的可能性是一直存在的。你可能面临成为她犯罪同伙的危险或者至少你该她的行为有所认知。你会被警察传讯，并一直在警方怀疑之列，想证明自己是清白的就难了。在你想约感兴趣的女孩之前，你应该查清她是否有犯罪记录。可以通过网上调查或查询你所在城市的地方法院记录。

审校：小飞侠 编辑：Freya然 校对：丸子