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《美食祈祷和恋爱》Chapter 56 (121): 不能乱动

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《美食祈祷和恋爱》Chapter 56 (121): 不能乱动

It's physically grueling too. You are forbidden to shift your body at all once you have been seated, no matter how severe your discomfort. You just sit there and tell yourself, "There's no reason I need to move at all during the next two hours." If you are feeling discomfort then you are supposed to meditate upon that discomfort, watching the effect that physical pain has on you. In our real lives, we are constantly hopping around to adjust ourselves around discomfort — physical, emotional and psychological—in order to evade the reality of grief and nuisance. Vipassana meditation teaches that grief and nuisance are inevitable in this life, but if you can plant yourself in stillness long enough, you will, in time, experience the truth that everything (both uncomfortable and lovely) does eventually pass.

对生理亦是一大考验。一旦就座,便不准移动身子,无论多么不舒服。你坐在那儿,告诉自己:“接下来两个小时,我没有理由随便乱动。”假使感到不适,也应当沉思这种不适,观察肉体的痛苦对自己产生的影响。在现实生活中,我们不断调整自己生理、情绪、心理上的不适,以便逃避现实中的悲伤与障碍。“内观”则教人把悲伤与障碍视为人生在世不可避免的部分,但假若能做到长时间静坐,你迟早会认清,一切(无论难受或美好的事)终会过去。

"The world is afflicted with death and decay, therefore the wise do not grieve, knowing the terms of the world," says an old Buddhist teaching. In other words: Get used to it. I don't think Vipassana is necessarily the path for me. It's far too austere for my notions of devotional practice, which generally revolve around compassion and love and butterflies and bliss and a friendly God (what my friend Darcey calls "Slumber Party Theology"). There isn't even any talk about "God" in Vipassana, since the notion of God is considered by some Buddhists to be the final object of dependency, the ultimate fuzzy security blanket, the last thing to be abandoned on the path to pure detachment. Now, I have my own personal issues with the very word detachment, having met spiritual seekers who already seem to live in a state of complete emotional disconnect from other human beings and who, when they talk about the sacred pursuit of detachment, make me want to shake them and holler, "Buddy, that is the last thing you need to practice!"

“人世就是这样,受衰老和死亡折磨,所以,智者懂得人世的规则,不再悲伤。”古老的佛教教义如是说。换言之:习惯它吧。我认为“内观”不见得适合我。就我的修行观而言,它太过严峻,而我的修行观通常是以慈悲、爱、蝴蝶、幸福、友善之神为中心(我的朋友达西[Darcy]称之为“睡衣派对神学”)。内观禅修对神只字未提,因为神的概念被某些佛教徒视为是最后的依赖目标、最终的靠山,是通往解脱过程中最后将舍弃的事物。我个人对“解脱”一词很是疑问,我曾遇过生活方式已经几乎与人类情感脱节的求道者,当他们也说起追求解脱的境界时,我真想推推他们,高喊“老兄,这个是你最不需要练习的啊!”

Still, I can see where cultivating a measure of intelligent detachment in your life can be a valuable instrument of peace. And after reading about Vipassana meditation in the library one afternoon, I got to thinking about how much time I spend in my life crashing around like a great gasping fish, either squirming away from some uncomfortable distress or flopping hun-grily toward ever more pleasure. And I wondered whether it might serve me (and those who are burdened with the task of loving me) if I could learn to stay still and endure a bit more without always getting dragged along on the potholed road of circumstance.

尽管如此,我看得出在生活中培养解脱之道,或许有益于求得平静。某天下午,在图书室读完内观禅修法后,我思索自己一生花费多少时间像一条喘气的大鱼横冲直撞,不是扭身逃开不舒服的痛苦,就是如饥似渴地扑向更多的愉悦。若能学会待在原地处之泰然,不要总是在坑坑洼洼的人生道路上被拖着走,或许对我(以及因为爱我而受拖累的那些人)会很有用呢。

All these questions came back to me this evening, when I found a quiet bench in one of the Ashram gardens and decided to sit in meditation for an hour—Vipassana-style. No move-ment, no agitation, not even mantra—just pure regarding. Let's see what comes up. Unfortu-nately, I had forgotten about what "comes up" at dusk in India: mosquitoes. As I soon as I sat down on that bench in the lovely gloaming, I could hear the mosquitoes coming at me, brush-ing against my face and landing—in a group assault—on my head, ankles, arms. And then their fierce little burns. I didn't like this. I thought, "This is a bad time of day to practice Vipas-sana meditation."

这些问题今晚都回来了,于是我在道场的庭院找到一张安静的长凳,决定静坐一个小时——以“内观”方式。静止不动,气定神闲,甚至不念咒语——仅纯粹观心,看会出现什么。很不幸,我忘了印度傍晚时分会“出现”的是——蚊子。美好的暮色中,在板凳上坐了下来,立刻听见蚊子朝我而来,掠过我的脸,群起而攻停在我的头上、脚踝上、手臂上,而后展开猛烈的叮咬。我不喜欢。我心想:“这不是练习内观禅修的好时辰。”