考研英语看图作文范例点评：本分变“承诺”

看图作文在英语作文中是大家普遍缺乏练习的一种类型，一个提高的方式就是看范例和点评，针对其中的错误进行自我修正。

本分变承诺：

写作原文

AS Is(注意大小写) shown above, a funny hen claimed that her eggs with(that后面应该跟的是从句，从句中应包含谓语动词，建议将with改为have) no edge and the like which is the most fundamntional(拼写错误，改为fundamental).(作者这句话是要表达什么内容?)Simple as the drawing is, the symbolic meaning behind ti(改为it) is as deep as ocean(注意句末标点)Honesty is not only necessary, but also indepensible(拼写错误，改为indispensable) the old Chinese proverb says:"Honesty is gold." However,in no country other than China, it has been said that, the problum(拼写错误，改为problem) of opposite the pormise(拼写错误，改为promise) more serious(句子逻辑关系不明确，改为the opposite of the original promise is more serious),and people fail to attach attention to the "gold". Individuals and organizations can make money, take porfits(拼写错误，改为profits) and even obtain wealth by attend be honest can also have added (改为add) benefit of increasing one's knowledge, giving us a new perspective of outside world. According to a survey conducted by China Acadmy(拼写错误，改为Academy)of Science(CAS),honesty can relieve not only pressure but also anxiety and such problums(拼写错误，改为problems)as depression, stress, isolation and solitude(注意句末标点)All in all,obtain(改为obtaining，一句话中只能有一个谓语动词)the promise plays a key role in our daily unhonest(改为dishonest，表示“不诚实的”，没有unhonest一词), in view of the complexity of such issue,we must treat it socially,economically and (首字母大写) a proper law, an up-to-date solution, a right perspective and alert public,it will be a matter of time before the problum(拼写错误，改为problem) becomes things of the past.(最后一段缺乏逻辑关系，建议重写)

总体点评

作文能够按照写作要求来写，写作格式基本符合要求。但是文中的问题较多，比如：单词的拼写问题、语法问题、句子的逻辑关系问题等。希望作者在后面的复习中，先不要急于写文章，从基本的入手，先积累词汇、学习基本语法、积累并模仿高分语言佳句;将重点放在语句模仿上，有空多读外文期刊，了解英语的地道表达，从而不断提高自己的写作水平。建议作者将每周的时间做一个合理的规划，一周练习一篇作文即可，在练习这篇作文时，可先积累此方面的词汇，之后两天可查找有关方面的经典表达及例文，然后再模仿佳句，等这些都做到位时，再组织文章。

参考分数(满分20分)：11

英语写作水平的提升需要不断地练习，在改正错误中不断取得进步，不怕犯错误，怕明知道犯错误却不面对。看了范文和点评，希望大家有思考，有提高。