大学英语作文名师点评与评析
从小学记录到大学，我们的英语作文写作簿满满的都是回忆。下面是本站小编给大家整理的大学英语作文名师点评，供大家参阅!
There has long been a view among Chinese that "Spare the rod, spoil the child". How did this point form and spread through China's long history may cause my curiosity. However,what really interests me is whether this viewpoint is still worthy of adoption in our modern society.
For one thing, such "rod using" education mode has no possibility of achieving the goal of education:the forming of a child's judgment on right and wrong as well as the developing of a child's self-control ability. Children are always inquisitive and destructive, tearing up books, throwing down vases and etc,which will make you feel rather angry. Punish them or explain to them, you are faced up with a choice. In fact, whichever method you choose, it will be effective at that time. The only difference is that the former one works on children's fear of penalty and the latter one on their realization of mistakes. Fears disappearing quickly, children are likely to repeat their wrong activities if you only punish them. Once learning why they are wrong and knowing what is allowed and what is banned, the children may avoid making the same mistakes in the future. And little by little,children's judging ability will be developed. So in the long run,pointing out the mistakes and what is permitted seem more wise.
Similarly, such "penalty emphasizing" education mode,which somewhat seems a bit violent, harms children's growth and the forming of their characters. "Many adults' mental diseases have close relationship with their childhood's penalty", psychiatrists say on a large number of researches. Furthermore,such education mode may result in children's rebellious temperaments or too timid and weak characters. Additionally, this mode will widen the gap between two generations. With all these unexpected results, we would better think deeply over this education mode.
happens.
Making friends, in some sense, resembles enjoying music. I never choose bright music whenever I am blue, because the sentimental melody soothes my tense nerve and assures me that I am understood and cared and not alone in this toughest time, and because I will feel strengthened when someone can grieve at my grief.
简 评
昔日好友各奔前程，不同的背景和经历改变着彼此，这份友谊还能和从前一样吗?本文很自然地从回忆亲身经历说起，既而提出论点：真正的友谊应该以共同的志向、爱好、观点为依托，以彼此的了解、信任、坦诚和无私为支柱。所以作者认为，各方面与自己效和有益于孩子身心健康的教育方式。具体如何，没有指明，但其观点已隐含于文中，即第二段结尾：向孩子指出错误所在及什么应该做什么不应该做。该文用较短的篇幅成功地表达了反对棍棒教育的观点，是一篇好文章。作者比较注意词语的多样性，如对此教育方式分别使用棍棒教育(rod using)和强调惩罚(penalty emphasizing)表示，生动形象。
(点评教师：何静)
大学英语作文名师点评：Adversity Often Leads to ProsperityEverybody wants to lead a successful life. But a number of people failed to realize their ambitions or their personal goals though they had dreamed of it throughout their whole lives. In order to succeed, one is required to have such personal qualities as diligence, persistence, intelligence, patience and so on. Besides them, I hold adversity is also one of the key factors and that it often leads to prosperity.
The seemingly mistaken conclusion reveals the common phcnomenon, People in adversity tend to express their full range of potential and actualize their own personal worth the very aim of a human life. And it is also supported by lots of successful people's experiences both in old days and nowadays, both at home and abroad.
During the Period of Chunqiu, the Emperor of the Yue,Gou Jian, was defeated by the Wu and trapped in prison. Adversity stimulated him to revenge instead of discouraged him. Gou Jian hanged a gall and tasted it before sleep every day so as to keep the humiliation and revenge always in mind. Owing to his undefeated qualities and persistent struggle, he defeated the Wu and drew himself from adversity to prosperity in the end.
David Beckham, the captain of the English Soccer Team,was famous for his fascinating technique as well as his handsome appearance. He led England to defeat Argentina as a national revenge in the latest Korea Japan World Cup and he was regarded to be one of the five greatest football players in the world by Brazilian football star Robert Carlos. However, ten years ago, he was only an ordinary young player and was put in the second team of Man Utd. Once he was even lent to another team in English A by Ferguson and it seemed that he would be abandoned as burden of his club someday. Beckham was not defeated by all the difficulties and he was sensible enough to make full use of adversity as an agent to push himself forward. He studied the combat, increased his stamina and strength, improved the technique and dribbling and trained the skill of passing and free kicking. As a result of his persistent and painstaking training, beginning with the famous wonderful goal from the centre circle in 1996, he brought himself a hot prospect.
The important role that adversity plays in one's success can also be demonstrated by another example of a Chinese student An Jinpeng. An Jinpeng was born in a poverty stricken family,and his father was seriously ill, so his mother had to do all the farm work. Though poor, his parents were sensible enough to keep him in school and they had to borrow money from relatives and friends. In school, though helped by his classmates and teachers, An Jinpeng was too poor to live normally compared to most students. Instead of delicious meals, he had his rice with salt every day; whenever there were any trips organized by his class, he had to stay in his dormitory. In winter, having little money to buy new clothes to keep himself warm, he had to stay in bed to study. He did not give up and persist in studying hard in order to actualize his goal; win the gold medal in the coming international maths contest. But his persistence did not bring him success at once. Before long, his father died and the condition of his family became worse. His mother even sold out their farm cattle and did their work herself instead. Bitter in heart and moved by his mother, An Jinpeng learned to face the adversity in a more mature way. He accepted adversity, valued it, utilized it and defeated it. After countless days of painstaking studying and training, he got an amazing full mark! When asked what was the key factor that brought him the enormous success,he referred to his mother's word, Adversity is a "school" and it is more valuable than any other university. As Gou Jian, David Beckham and An Jinpeng, a number of successful people do owe their success to adversity. But such qualities as diligence, persistence and so forth should also be valued in one's these qualities, accept adversity, value it, utilize it and defeat it, and you are sure to bring yourself hot prosperity.
简 评
本文主要观点是逆境是成功的关键因素之一。作者首先明确表明自己的观点，认为人在处于逆境中时会充分发挥潜力并最终实现人生目标。文章的主体部分是三个例子，涵盖古今中外：中国春秋时越王勾践，英国足球明星贝克汉姆，以及一个中国大学生的故事。他们的共同点是：身处逆境甚至绝境，但自强不患，努力拼搏，终于实现目标，这三个例子都比较典型，特别是安金鹏的故事，作者娓娓道来，十分感人，有力地证明了作者论点。文章是总—分—总结构，比较简炼。当然，不足之处是，只分析了逆境的正面作用，未谈及其对当事人可能的消极影响，且全篇都是例子，论述较少，令人感觉不够全面。
(点评教师：何静)
大学英语作文名师点评：Adversity and ProsperityPeople tend to complain, "Why am I not a president but a most ordinary clerk?" "Why am I not a millionaire who doesn't have to work desperately with such a poor salary?" or "Why can't I invent something to change people's life and carve a place or myself in history?" The answer is somewhat simple: their ives are going too smooth. In other words, they have never ndergone the true adversity which prosperity often has its roots in.
Adversity often leads to prosperity. Painful and difficult as it is, adversity requires courage to face, great courage that not all people have. Thus, when confronted by adversity, some people sink and others overcome it with constant painstaking struggle. The latter will henceforth have intense passion to achieve their goals and tremendous determination to overwhelm any difficulties on their way to the destination, for they believe the worst has gone by. Jiacheng Lee, who is said to be the wealthiest person in China, had suffered a lot before he made his fortune. Born in a small family, he had to earn a living to support his family without finishing his junior school study. He peddled near a plastic factory, selling plastic flowers he himself made. Gradually his hard work enabled him to save up enough money to run a real business. From then on, he often defeated his opponents by investing riskily in some huge projects, which rewarded him with considerable profits. When asked about reasons for such tour age, Jiacheng Lee said laconically, "If I had failed, I would have at least gone back to be a peddler again. I would lose nothing."It is obvious that his success grows from the fertile soil of adversity of his early years.
On the contrary, those who haven't experienced the adversity are to some extent content with the present life, and they aren't determined to break up these pleasant days to venture into some unknown field. Therefore, they mostly couldn't bring their potential into full play. But it doesn't mean that none of the people living in happiness can succeed. Bill Gates, another millionaire, has a much more fortunate experience though. But besides his ability and his sharp eye for chances, another factor also explains his success a sense of threatened. He knows clearly that he will be eliminated in the fierce competition if he slows down his pace of innovation. This threat makes him think as in adversity at least not in a pleasant resting place. His story also shows that prosperity and adversity, in a sense, are inter wined.
In adversity, while pessimists think there comes the end of the world and lose all hope, optimists remain cheerful. They will never be blinded by their pain, they know hope is there within,they keep struggling, and at last they will reach prosperity.
简 评
本文论述了困境与成功的关系，最大的特点在于举了名人成功经历为例，成功地阐明了以下观点：成功常常来自逆境。
李嘉诚是个典型的例子：自小家境贫寒，辍学做小贩维持家用，以此积蓄的原始资本开办自己的公司，用战略性、高风险的投资，获得了丰厚回报，终于成为最富有的华人。作者引用李嘉诚的话解释其商业眼光和勇气的来源：“即使失败，不过重做小贩，什么都未失去”，正是这种轻松的心态导致其成功。当然，作者也认为生活中没有经历逆境者也可能成功，并举了比尔.盖茨的例子：盖茨时刻提醒自己，如停止创新就会在残酷的竞争中落败，即成功者即使未亲历逆境，却也会时刻有一种危机意识。作者通过这种引申，更深入地表明了其观点：成功和逆境总是相伴而行的。最后一段照应全文：在困境中，悲观者认为世界末日来临，而乐观者不会被痛苦吓倒，他们看到希望，努力争取，并最终成功，精辟地总结了自己的论点。
(点评教师：何静)
