对于烦恼我们应该怎么办双语

每个人的项目看上去都不同，但是绝大多数人都会从中受益——不需要努力赶超，只要立刻参与。接下来，小编给大家准备了对于烦恼我们应该怎么办双语,欢迎大家参考与借鉴。

Everyone says, and it's true, that one of the most effective ways to handle negative emotions is to lighten up. If things are sad, try to find a reason to laugh. If you're angry, joke around. Easier said than done, however.

大家都知道，处理消极情绪最有效方式之一是“放轻松”。如果你悲伤，找一个大笑的理由。如果你生气，去开个玩笑。不过，做比说要难。

I had a chance to keep my resolution to "Make a joke of it" last night. As a consequence of certain marital1 negotiations2 last year (not conducted in the most happiness-boosting way, I must confess), my husband took on the job of dealing3 with my daughter's adventure in orthodontia. The orthodontist's office is right around the corner from his office, and he agreed that he'd schedule the appointments and take her. Which was GREAT!

上周，我有一个机会得以运用“一笑了之”。 按照去年的家庭协议(我得承认，这协议并不是在一片祥和的气氛中签订的)，我丈夫负责女儿牙齿矫正术的事项。牙齿校正医生的办公室就在他的办公室拐角，丈夫同意由他安排时间带她去。这真太棒了!

On our flight to Kansas City for the holidays, the Big Girl lost her "functional4 applicance" (the new-fangled thing she wears in her mouth, except when she's eating). We looked everywhere on the plane; it was gone. We got back home a week later, and the Big Man didn't call to make an appointment. Days went by. I reminded him periodically5, but nothing happened.

在我们去堪萨斯度假的航班上，我千金把她的“设备”(就是她嘴里戴的新鲜玩意，吃东西时得取下来)弄丢了。我们在飞机上四处找遍了还是没有。一周后我们回到家，大男人没有打牙医电话预约。时间一天天过去。我隔一段时间就提醒他，但是他无动于衷。

Whenever I thought about this delay, I became extremely annoyed. Last night, I stomped6 into our bedroom ready to turn on my anger at full volume. "This really matters, this is important, she's growing now, what's the point, it's expensive, she'll only have to have braces7 longer, you promised you'd do it," etc., etc., etc. Then I thought, "Make a joke of it."

一想起他的拖拉，我就十分恼怒。昨晚，我跺着脚进卧室，准备大发雷霆。“这真的很要紧，很重要，她正在发育，而且，那很贵，她只得再等下去，而你答应过会去做。”等等，等等。可又一想，干脆“一笑了之”。

So I went over, put my arm around the Big Man, and said nicely, “You know what? If you don't call the orthodontist's tomorrow, I'm going to be furious8, I'm going to be enraged9, I'm going to be beside myself. I'm not threatening, just giving you fair warning.” And I laughed while I said it.

于是我走过去，用手臂搂着他，温柔地说：“你知道吗?如果你明天还不给校正牙医打电话。我会很生气。我会发怒，我不知道会做出什么事情。我可没威胁你，只是给你一个公正的警告”。我边说还一边笑。

"I know, I know!" he said, shaking his head. "I'll send myself an email right now." And he did. And today he made the appointment.

他摇了摇头说：“知道，知道啦!我现在就给自己发一封邮件。” 他还真发了。今天他约好了医生。

I'm not sure if making a joke of it was more effective than getting angry, but I don't think it was less effective. And it was a much nicer way to have that unpleasant exchange. I was happier about it, and the Big Man was happier about it.

我不确定说笑会不会比愤怒更奏效，但是我相信效果不会更差。而且比让人不愉快的交流方式好得多。我对这个方法更满意;大男人也一样。

I used the same technique on myself last weekend. I had a bunch of dreaded10, dull tasks to take care of. I told myself, "I'm going to clear away a lot of these chores in the next two days. It's going to be the 'Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks'! Like the 'Rodents11 of Unusual Size,' in The Princess Bride." As I groaned12 to myself as I put away the holiday decorations, organized my address list for our Valentine's cards, finally dealt with the mail that came when we were out of town, and other things too dull to mention, I repeated to myself, "Oh well, this is the Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks." And just making that little joke to myself made it easier to tackle13 those tasks.

上周末我对自己采用了相同的方法。我有一堆烦人无聊的事情要做。我对自己说：“我明后两天把这些杂活都做掉。这将是‘恐怖任务周’!就好像The Princess Bride书中的‘超大型啮齿动物’”。我一边自个儿抱怨一边把节日饰物放好、整理情人节卡片的地址、最后处理不在家时收到的邮件，等等，其他的事情我都懒得再提。我反复告诉自己：“好吧，这是恐怖任务周。” 就这样，给自己编一个笑话，事情便更容易处理了。

Of course, I recognize that in neither case when I kept my resolution to "Make a joke of it" was I really funny. My jokes weren't funny at all. But just the attempt to take a humorous attitude made a huge difference.

当然，我承认，在遵守“一笑了之”的决意中，我并不觉得有趣。我的笑话一点也不好笑。但采用一个幽默的态度却能让情况有很大改观。

It's easy to say "make a joke of it," but it's hard to do when you're feeling angry, scared, bored, or upset. Have you found a way to get yourself to make a joke?

说“一笑了之”容易，但是当你感到愤怒、害怕、无聊或烦心的时候要做到很难。你找到了一个让自己开玩笑的方法吗?

　　扩展：至善者，善之敌

I was inspired by an observation by Voltaire to make my resolution, "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." In other words, instead of pushing yourself to an impossible "perfect," and therefore getting nowhere, accept "good." Many things worth doing are worth doing badly.

在做出一项决意时，我谨记伏尔泰的箴言：“至善者，善之敌”。换言之，不要逼迫自己实现不可能的“完美”，而是去接受“好”。许多事情值得去做，但不需要事事完美。

I have a friend who never exercises unless she's training for a marathon; as a consequence, she almost never exercises. I never push myself when I exercise, and although I suspect she scoffs1 at my wimpy(= wimpish：懦弱的，无用的)work-outs, I've managed to get myself to exercise several times a week for years. If I'd tried to have a more ambitious2 work-out, I'm sure I wouldn't have exercised at all.

我有一个朋友从来不锻炼，除非去练马拉松。结果，她几乎一直都没有锻炼。而我锻炼的时候，从来不会勉强自己。虽然我怀疑她看不起我的低锻炼强度，可是数年来我能坚持每周锻炼几次。如果我设定一个更高的锻炼目标，我肯定根本不会去锻炼。

Along the same lines, I told a friend that one of my happiness-project resolutions was to "Remember birthdays," and so I was sending out happy-birthday emails. He said, "Oh, you shouldn't email! You should call or write a hand-written note, that's much nicer." True – but I won't. And it's better to get something done imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly3.

同理，我曾告诉一位朋友，在我的“快乐计划”中，有一条是“记住生日”，因此我会发送生日祝福电子邮件。他说：“哦，你不该发电子邮件!应该打电话、写留言，这让人感觉更好。” 是啊——但是我不会去做。不完美地做了某件事总比追求完美而一事无成的好。

The perfect can also become the enemy of the good in the quest4 for perfect information. There are two ways to approach decision-making: as a satisficer (yes, that is a word) or as a maximizer.

在获得详尽信息上，“完美”也会成为“好”的敌人。有两种决策者：满足者(这个词是有的)和最大化者。

Satisficers are those who make a decision or take action once their criteria5 are met. That doesn't mean they'll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high, but as soon as they find the pasta sauce or the business card that has the qualities they want, they're satisfied.

“满足者”是指那些一旦满足了标准后即做出决定或采取行动的人。这不表示他们甘愿接受平庸：他们的标准可能很高，但是一旦找到了希望中的东西，比如意粉酱或名片，他们就满足了。

Maximizers want to make the optimal6 decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can't make a decision until after they've examined every option, to make the best possible choice. Studies suggest that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers; maximizers spend a lot more time and energy to reach a decision, and they're often anxious about whether they did, in fact, make the best choice. (For a fascinating discussion, read Barry Schwartz's The Paradox7 of Choice.)

“最大化者”希望做出最优化的决定。即便找到了满足需求的东西，例如自行车或背包，为了做出最佳选择，他们要检查每一个候选后才能做出决定。研究表明满足者往往比最大化者更快乐;最大化者为了做出一个决定要花更多的精力和时间，而且经常会为自己是不是真的做出最佳选择而烦恼。(对此的精彩讨论，请参阅《选择的矛盾》一书，作者Barry Schwartz)

In almost every category, I'm a satisficer, and in fact, I often felt guilty about not doing more research before making decisions. But it's one of my Secrets of Adulthood8: Most decisions don't require extensive research. In picking a girls' summer camp, a friend got information from twenty-five camps and visited five in person. We got information from five camps and picked the one that a friend's daughter loved. I used to think that my lack of diligence was a sign of laziness, and my resolution "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good" has made me feel a lot better.

基本上我是一位满足者，实际上，我经常会因为没有做更多调查就做了决定而愧疚。但是，我的一条“成年人秘密”是：多数决定不需要详尽调查。为了选择一个女孩夏令营，我的一位朋友调查了25个夏令营，亲自去了5个。而我们调查了5个，选择了一位朋友女儿喜欢的那个。我曾以为不勤奋是懒惰的标志，然而“至善者，善之敌”这想法让我心情大大地好了起来。

In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough, and not to worry about perfection9 or making the perfect choice.

某些时候，要学会知足，而别去担心是否完美或是否做了完美决定。