如何与比自己更有魅力的人约会

'Punching above your weight' is a concept we're All familiar with when it comes to commenting, usually bitterly, on other couples. But what's less clear is how to get into that position yourself.

当带着挖苦的语气评论其他情侣时，我们应该都很熟悉"超常发挥"这个概念。但却不清楚如何才能让自己也超常发挥。

Is it blind luck? Social status (i.e. one partner has loads of money or an aristocratic heritage)? Or to be less cynical, is it something to do with 'what's inside'? A new report suggests none of the above.

这完全是碰运气吗？亦或是靠社会地位（例如，这个人是个土豪，或者拥有贵族遗产）？还是不要那么愤世嫉俗呢？这与'内在美'有没有什么关系呢？一项新的报告显示，以上猜测都是错的。

It's true that, broadly, people tend to pair up with others who are genetically and physically similar to themselves - or if you're being reductive, '10s' end up with '10s' and '7s' end up with '7s'. Scientists call this 'assortative mating', and the loose explanation is that we do so to avoid our partners being lured away by more attractive competition.

大致来说，人们的确喜欢和自己有遗传相似或身体相似的人在一起--如果你想还原场景，那就是10年代的想和10年代的在一起，7年代的想与7年代的在一起。科学家们将其称为"分类交配，"简单来说，这样做我们可以避免另一半被其他更有吸引力的竞争对手勾引。

But a study published last year in the journal Psychological Science posits a theory as to how and why 'assortative mating' occurs, and it's all about the 'friend zone'.

但去年在《心理科学》杂志上发表的一项研究假设了这样一个理论：'分类交配'是如何发生的以及为什么会发生，这都是因为'朋友区'。

The study, carried out at the University of Texas at Austin and Northwestern University, looked into the causes of 'mixed attractiveness' relationships.

德克萨斯大学奥斯丁分校和西北大学开展了这项研究，研究了"混合吸引"恋情的原因。

Studying 267 heterosexual couples, they asked how long each pair had known each other and whether they enjoyed a platonic relationship before they began dating.

该研究对267对异性恋夫妇进行了研究，问及了每对相识的时间，以及约会后是否享受这种柏拉图式的恋情。

The crux of what they found? Couples who were friends for longer before getting together were more likely to vary in their attractiveness, while those who began dating right away were generally the same.

他们发现的关键点？那些在谈恋爱之前做了多年朋友的恋人更有可能在吸引力上有所不同，而那些刚认识就谈恋爱的情侣，他们的吸引力基本不变。

In fact, the longer the couple had known each other first, the less likely they were to be 'matched' in how attractive they were.

事实上，恋人认识彼此越久，就越不可能因对方的吸引力'感到很搭'。

And promisingly for anyone dating someone they suspect deep down is way hotter than they are, the study also found 'no correlation' between how similarly attractive the couples were and how satisfied they were in their relationship.

有希望的是，对任何觉得对象要比自己更抢手的人来说，研究还发现：恋人之间吸引力的相似性和他们对恋情的满意度并不相关。

Being friends is not necessarily a barrier to love, but could prove the perfect conduit for it.

你们俩是朋友的这层关系不一定会阻碍你们相爱，而且还可能给你们提供了完美的相爱渠道。

All of which may make somewhat harrowing reading for members of the Tinder age, but for those of us still occasionally meeting people outside our iPhones, this is perhaps a reason for good cheer.

对于使用Tinder的这代人而言，上述内容或多或少有些伤感，但对我们这些仍会和别人在现实生活中见面的人来说，也许该偷着乐了。