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如何远离负能量的人

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We all know how important it is to give our bodies a break from "toxic" food and alcohol, but what about giving ourselves a break from toxic attitudes? "Just like any toxic thing-like food or poison-toxic people are extremely dangerous," Tara Mackey, author of Cured by Nature and founder of The Organic Life, tells mental_floss in an email. "They distract us from our positive or productive habits. They'll be the people who discourage you from exercise or make fun of you for wanting to be a better person. They'll come up with reasons for you to stay in other bad relationships. Toxic people get you stuck in the past and focused on the negative, and in that mentality, you can't move forward and you can't succeed. It is impossible for them to share in your joy."

我们都知道远离"有毒"食物和酒精十分重要,但远离消极态度重不重要呢?"像任何有毒物品一样--食物或毒药--负能量的人尤为危险,"《自然治愈》(Cured by Nature)一书的作者兼有机生活公司的创始人塔拉·麦基在回复心理牙线杂志(mental_floss)的邮件中说道。"负能量的人会破坏我们积极、创造性的习惯。他们会阻止你锻炼身体、会因为你想变得更优秀而取笑你。他们会想方设法,劝你继续保持不健康的恋爱关系。负能量的人会让你沉迷过去,只想那些消极的事情。在这种心态下,你将无法继续向前发展、也无法获得成功。他们不可能分享你的快乐。"

"Toxic people can try to cling on-sometimes for years! They can make you feel guilty and because of that, are not always easy to remove from your life," says Mackey. To help you detox your relationships once and for all, here are her tips for getting rid of harmful personalities.

"负能量的人会缠着你--有时甚至缠你好几年!他们会让你感到内疚,正因如此,让他们远离自己的生活并非易事,"麦基说道。下列这些建议,能让你一劳永逸的摆脱这些有害的性格、不健康的关系。

1. IDENTIFY THE TOXICITY.

1. 鉴别负能量等级。

The first step of getting rid of something-or someone-toxic is actually recognising the fact that it's harming you. "Toxic people are manipulative and often selfish," says Mackey. "They're difficult to please and impossible to work with, even when you're trying to help them. They have a hard time owning their feelings or apologising, and they will consistently make you prove yourself to them."

想要摆脱负面的事或负能量的人,首先你要认清他们正在伤害你这一事实。"负能量的人通常控制欲很强、也很自私,"麦基说。"很难取悦他们、与他们共事更不可能,即使你想帮助他们,也十分困难。他们很难承认自己的情感、也不愿道歉,他们总会让你向他们低头。"

如何远离负能量的人

If a relationship is weighing on you constantly or bringing you down significantly more than it's building you up, it's time to let go. "Toxic people are a distraction from your true purpose," says Mackey.

如果一段感情总是让你焦虑,让你伤心的次数比让你开心的次数多得多,那还是放手吧!"负能量的人会让你忘记真正的目标,"麦基说。

2. BE FIRM.

2.斩钉截铁。

"Toxins have to be met with a powerful force," says Mackey. "It's likely that they won't just respond to 'Go away,' and will perhaps even dig their claws in deeper if you try to create a separation. Don't let this discourage you." Be very, very clear with the person about your intentions, then keep the necessary distance to make sure your message isn't misconstrued.

"面对负能量的人,必须要坚定,"麦基说道。"如果你说要分手,他们很有可能不只是回答一句'你走,'他们甚至会将魔爪伸得更远。但不要让这阻碍你。"一定要把自己的真实意图说清楚,并且保持必要的距离,以确保他不会误解。