30多岁时与小鲜肉约会的利弊

A lot of women I know prefer to date older men - and, hey, I get that. An older man can make you feel protected, taken care of, young, and sexy. It's hard to hear your ticking biological clock over the sound of a refined gentleman recommending an expensive whiskey. It seems whatever age I am (and, spoiler alert: I'm in my thirties now), I've found myself saying "guys my age don't have their shit together." Even when I was on Tinder, I set my minimum age to a couple years older then me because I had no interest in dating younger. But then I met Ben (name has been changed to protect the overly sensitive). Ben changed my views on younger guys - because, really, the operative word is guy here, not man (and, hi, I'm a woman, not a girl) - upside down, and made me see the pros and cons of dating a younger guy, like...

我认识的很多女性都喜欢和年纪大一点的男人约会——我明白这一点。年长的男人会让你感觉有人保护、呵护你、让你觉得自己年轻、性感。一位优雅的绅士向你推荐昂贵的威士忌，你很难不对他倾心。无论我多大年纪（剧透：我现在30多岁了），我总是会说“我这个岁数的男生还不懂事呢。”即使在Tinder上，我设置的约会对象最小年纪也比我年长，因为我对约会小鲜肉没有兴趣。但后来我遇到了本（名字已改，不用过于敏感）。本改变了我对小鲜肉的观点——因为，这里最适合的词是这个家伙而不是男人（而我是女人不是女孩儿了）——颠倒过来，让我了解到与小鲜肉约会的利弊，比如……

Pro: He Made Me See How Far I've Come

利：他让我明白我已走了多远

This might be selfish - actually, it is 100 percent selfish -but it's true. While we were together, Ben was a lost little lamb in the woods; scared, full of doubt, directionless. I remember being a little lamb myself in my mid-twenties. I felt sad for him and I understood what he was going through, but I was relieved to know that those woods were behind me. I'm not a lost little lamb anymore, but rather, a confident, sexy lion. Sorry that I just referred to myself as a sexy lion, but seeing how confused he was made me realize I wasn't anymore.

这可能很自私，实际上是百分百的自私，但这是真的。当我们在一起的时候，本是迷失在树林里的小羊羔：害怕、充满疑惑、毫无方向。我还记得我25岁左右的时候也是这样的小羊羔。我为他感到遗憾，我明白他要经历什么，但现在知道我已走过了这些树林让我舒心不少。我再也不是迷失的小羊羔了，现在的我是一头自信、性感的狮子。我为暗示自己是头性感的狮子感到抱歉，但是看到他如此困惑反而让我意识到我自己再也不困惑了。

Con: You Have Way More Figured Out Than He Does

弊：你想的东西要比他多得多

I struggled in my twenties, and I get the nature of struggling, but building a partnership with someone who is just starting his own tenuous path to adulthood is frustrating. I often found myself saying "when I was your age,"and I hated it. What am I, a grandma?! At times, I felt like I was more of a teacher then a girlfriend. I wasn't learning anything from him because I had already found the answers to my questions.

在20几岁的时候我挣扎过，我也明白了挣扎的本质，但与刚刚脆弱起步走向成人之路的小鲜肉谈恋爱是很令人沮丧的。我总是会说“我在你这个岁数的时候，”我特别讨厌自己说这句话。我是谁啊？姥姥吗？有时我觉得自己是个老师而不是女朋友。我从他身上学不到任何东西，因为我已有了自己问题的答案。