每位母亲在雇佣第一位保姆时都会撒的8个谎

You've achieved a major milestone: You've had a baby. No matter how many successes you've racked up in your life before becoming a mother, having a child—through C-section, vaginal birth or adoption—is a hard thing that alters your life like nothing else.

你做成了一件大事：生了个宝宝。不管在成为母亲之前你有多成功，抚养孩子——不管是剖腹产、顺产还是领养——都是一件十分困难的事情，会彻底改变你的生活。

But now you have to do a harder thing: Find a nanny to take care of your precious child while you bring home the bacon. I'm not trying to intimidate you, but having a baby cut out of my uterus was only slightly more difficult than my first nanny search.

但现在，你要做一件更有难度的事情：为自己的宝贝找个保姆，这样你出门工作的时候，就有人照顾他们了。我并非想要吓你们，但是顺产生宝宝只比我当时找第一位保姆时难一点点儿。

Maybe my boss won't notice if I bring the baby to work every day and stick her under my desk. And good lord, I'd never been so tired in my life. Around week three of my maternity leave, I began to understand why sleep deprivation was such an effective torture device. And don't even ask about my wardrobe! It was a hot mess, all of it was milk-stained.

也许我每天把孩子带去上班藏在办公桌下，老板并不会注意呢。老天，我从未这么累过。在产假的第三周，我开始理解为什么睡眠不足会让人饱受折磨了。千万别问我的衣柜！简直就是一团糟，所有的衣服都有奶渍。

Against that glamorous backdrop, I had to become an employer. And I needed to employ someone loving, dependable and competent who could help me raise my child. Just the thought of it made me sob. But someone had to watch the baby while I was at work, so I had to get to work.

在这一情况下，我不得不雇佣保姆了。我需要找一个有爱心、可靠而且有能力的保姆，她能帮助我抚养孩子。只是这样一想我就鼻头一酸。但我上班的时候必须得有人看孩子啊，所以我必须要开始招募起来。

1. All the good nannies are taken.

1. 所有好保姆都被别人找去了。

2. The only nannies left are psychopaths who are going to steal my baby and hitch a ride to Vegas.

2. 剩下的保姆都是变态，她们要把我的孩子偷走，然后搭顺风车去赌城。

3. We will never find someone good by the time I go back to work.

3. 产假一到我必须得去工作的时候，我肯定还是找不到保姆。

4. We cannot afford a nanny so I might as well stay home with the baby.

4. 我们也雇不起保姆，要不然我还是留在家带孩子吧。

5. Every nanny we interview is judging me and thinks I'm a bad mom.

5. 面谈的每一位保姆都用有色眼光看我，觉得我是坏妈妈。

6. I can't possibly be someone else's boss—look at me! I'm a milk-stained mess of a woman.

6. 我不可能当别人老板的——看看我吧！我是一个衣服上全是奶渍的母亲啊。

7. No one is going to love my baby to my satisfaction.

7. 没有哪位保姆对我宝宝的爱能让我满意。

8. Maybe my boss won't notice if I bring the baby to work every day and stick her under my desk.

8. 也许我每天把孩子带去上班藏在办公桌下，老板并不会注意呢。