迷失在道师城的丹尼斯霍珀

In the late 1960s at the height of his career, Dennis Hopper left Hollywood for artistic bohemia in New Mexico. His daughter looks back on a man in search of free expression and a more contemplative way of life.

20世纪60年代末，丹尼斯·霍珀(Dennis Hopper)在事业顶峰之际离开好莱坞，到新墨西哥追求波西米亚的文艺生活。他的女儿回忆了这个男人如何追求表达自由与更富于思省的生活方式。

My father, Dennis Hopper, believed that being on the road in search of something was very American. You had to keep moving forward no matter what. Ride into town, gunfight at high noon, then off into the sunset. “Easy Rider,” he said, was really a western with motorcycles instead of horses: bad boys, bikers and beads.

我的父亲丹尼斯·霍珀相信，上路追寻某些东西是非常美国化的事情。你得一直向前，不管是往什么地方走，驶进小镇，在正午拔枪决斗，然后消逝在夕阳之下。他说，《逍遥骑士》(Easy Rider)是一部真正的西部片，只是用机车取代了马儿，片中有坏男孩、机车骑手和串珠项链。

Traveling by car is the only way to get around if you live in sunny California. In 1969, I got to drive with my dad, his then-girlfriend, a willowy Native-American beauty named Felicia, our friends Bob and Toby Rafelson and their kids, Julie and Peter, to a seemingly faraway place called Taos, N.M. My father had discovered Taos during one of his many scouting trips for “Easy Rider,” which he had shot the year before.

如果你住在阳光明媚的加利福尼亚，开车是唯一的旅行方式。1969年，我和父亲一起开车出游，同行的还有他当时的女朋友，一个寡居的美国土著美女，名叫弗莉西亚(Felicia)，此外还有我们的朋友鲍勃(Bob)和托比·拉菲尔森(Toby Rafelson)及他们的孩子，朱莉(Julie)与彼得(Peter)，我们要去新墨西哥一个似乎很遥远的地方，名叫道师城(Taos)。父亲一年前曾多次旅行，为《逍遥骑士》寻觅外景地，就是在那时发现了道师城这个地方。

My dad was 32. I was 6.

那年父亲32岁，我6岁。

We had all piled into the Rafelsons’ maroon Pontiac station wagon with its prominent wood siding first thing that morning. My mother, Brooke Hayward, had purchased the identical car right when the Rafelsons bought theirs. Since she and my father had divorced after he made “Easy Rider,” she was absent when we departed. I was grateful to miss out on a complicated goodbye.

那天早晨，我们的第一件事是把所有东西都堆进拉菲尔森一家的红褐色帕蒂亚克旅行车，这款车有著名的木质侧板。他们买这辆车的时候，我妈妈布鲁克·海沃德(Brook Hayward)也买了一辆一模一样的。父亲拍完《逍遥骑士》后，他俩就离婚了，我们出发时她没有来。谢天谢地，我躲过了一场复杂的告别。

According to my dad, Taos was sacred. It was the land of American Indians and their mountains, their beautiful Pueblo and their blue lake, which was meant to be so spiritual you could land in Tibet if you bore a hole through the bottom of it. He also told me more than once that rattlesnakes refused to go to Taos because of its extraordinarily high altitude. They instinctively knew not to travel past Santa Fe.

爸爸说，道师城是个神圣的地方。那里是美国印第安人的领地，坐落着他们的山峦、他们美丽的村庄和他们的蓝色湖泊，这里神圣到——如果从这儿给地球钻一个孔，另一头就是西藏。他还不止一次地告诉我，响尾蛇都不愿到道师城去，因为那里地势非常高，它们本能地知道不要到圣塔菲去旅行。

As we drove, my father rattled off the names of adventurers who had populated the Taos landscape over the years — artists, writers and activists like D. H. Lawrence, Dorothy Brett, Mabel Dodge Luhan and Millicent Rogers, who had resided there since the 1920s. They didn’t seem like regular people but figures out of myth, characters who had bucked society to find their own way in their own world, forming a grand community of outsiders, together. Sounded good to me. No snakes — just artists, mountains and Native e Dennis’s stories floated through the car, Julie and Peter and I bunked in the back of the station wagon, covered in old quilts and Pendleton blankets. It was a time of no seatbelts, no five-point harnesses. Freedom.

我们开车途中，父亲一连串地报出那些近年来定居道师城的冒险者们的名字——其中有艺术家、作家和社会活动家，诸如D·H·劳伦斯(D.H. Lawrence)、多萝西·布莱特(Dorothy Brett)、梅布尔·道奇·卢汉(Mabel Dodge Luhan)和米利森特·罗杰斯(Millicent Rogers)，他们从20年代就住在这里了。他们不是普通人，而是在那里寻找神秘，是那种抵制社会，在自己的世界中寻找自己道路的人，他们建立了大社区，把那些同社会格格不入的局外人聚集在一起。我觉得听上去挺不错——没有蛇，只有艺术家、群山和土著美国人。丹尼斯讲的故事在车厢里回荡，朱莉和彼得还有我躺在车子后座，身上盖着旧被子和彭得顿毯。那时候还没有安全带，没有儿童安全座椅。真是自由自在。

Along the way, we stopped to buy moccasins and visit the Grand Canyon and the Canyon de Chelly and the Petrified Forest, where we were told not to take anything or we would go to jail. Even so, inspired by Dennis’s campfire car tales, I stuffed my pockets with small pieces of petrified wood. I was on a road trip. It was an adventure.

一路上，我们停下来买莫卡辛鞋，游览大峡谷、彻里峡谷和石化森林。在石化森林，我们被告知不许带走任何东西，否则就要坐牢。尽管如此，在丹尼斯的篝火汽车故事鼓舞之下，我还是在兜里装满了小片石化木。我可是在做公路旅行呢。这是一场冒险。

Back in the car, we looked out the windows over the course of the drive and watched the world change and fade into the colors of a desert moonscape with cactuses and red dirt and mountains in the distance. I had seen this horizon before, most probably on “Bonanza,” on which my father had been a guest star in 1964. When he finished working on the show, he would arrive home with arms filled with rubber cactuses and boulders — with which he extensively decorated the backyard of our house on 1712 North Crescent Heights in the Hollywood Hills. I loved those pieces, marveled at how much they looked like the real thing and delighted in being able to lift a huge boulder high above my head to throw at one of my brothers in a moment of childish frenzy.

回到车里，我们沿途观看车窗外的景色，看到世界在改变，渐渐褪变为月球表面般的沙漠色调，到处都生长着仙人掌，地上是红土，远处山峦起伏。我曾经见过这样的景色，或许是在《富矿》(Bonanza)里，1964年，父亲曾在这部电视剧中客座出演。工作结束，他会抱着一大堆橡胶制成的仙人掌和巨石回来，装饰我家后院（我们住在好莱坞山北克雷森特高地1712号）。我喜欢那些东西，它们看上去那样栩栩如生，令我惊叹；徒手举起一块巨石，孩子气地向兄弟们扔过去，又让我开心不已。

Once we arrived in Taos, we stayed at the Kachina Lodge. Giant-size kachina dolls stood guard outside the hotel over the miniature versions housed inside. Some were adorned with feathers, others with tiny turquoise and silver jewelry. Julie and I found them all deeply enchanting. At this time, Taos was a wonderfully sleepy Southwestern town nestled at the foot of the beautiful Sacred Mountain. I was in awe of the particularly carved wooden pillars that were placed in front of many houses and buildings, and of the unique hand-painted beams inside them. The smell of burning firewood was ubiquitous, and carefully applied murals made one feel as though each home was a stand-alone one-of-a-kind.

到达道师城后，我们呆在克奇纳小屋。这家旅馆外面矗立着巨大的克奇纳神娃娃，守卫着它，屋里也有小的克奇纳娃娃。有些装饰着羽毛，有些装饰着绿松石和银首饰。朱莉和我觉得它们很迷人。道师城一直是个慵懒的西南小镇，坐落在美丽的圣山脚下。镇上许多房子和建筑前面都有雕刻的木头柱子，屋里还有独特的手绘房梁，让我感到敬畏。到处都有烧柴火的味道，精美的壁画让人觉得每一家都独一无二。

A year later, in 1970, my father bought Mabel Dodge Luhan’s Taos house, Los Gallos, from her granddaughter, with all of Mabel’s original furnishings inside. He also rented the house Mabel had built for her husband, Tony Luhan, on land next door that belonged to the Taos Pueblo. Los Gallos was a place where (from the 1920s to the 1950s) Mabel had invited artists, dancers and writers like Martha Graham, Ansel Adams, Willa Cather and Marsden Hartley to participate in the artist colony she had created there. Mabel had great flair for mixing up pieces of furniture she had brought to Taos from her time living in Florence, with Navajo rugs and pottery as well as fine Venetian silks and Fortuny fabrics.

一年后，也就是1970年，父亲从梅贝尔·道奇·卢汉的孙女手中买下她在道师城的房子，这栋房子名叫洛斯·加洛斯，梅贝尔原来的陈设都保留下来了。他还租了梅贝尔为丈夫托尼·卢汉建造的房子，旁边紧挨着道师城的印第安村落。从20年代到50年代，梅贝尔邀请玛莎·格拉罕姆(Martha Graham)、安塞尔·亚当斯(Ansel Adams)、薇拉·卡瑟(Willa Cather)和马斯登·哈特利(Marsden Hartley)等艺术家、舞蹈家和作家来洛斯加洛斯，加入她创立的艺术家村。梅贝尔有极高的家具混搭天分，她把居住在佛罗伦萨期间买的家具同这里的纳瓦霍地毯和陶器，以及威尼斯丝绸和弗图尼织物组合在一起。

After he bought that house, my father decided to live in Taos and leave L.A. for good, and following in Mabel’s steps, to create a creative counterculture where his friends — artists, actors, musicians — could come and gather in the Mud Palace, as he liked to call it. Los Gallos had more than 10 bedrooms, a guesthouse and a carriage house — plenty of room to have friends come and cross-pollinate their ideas. He wanted to set up an editing room so he could work on “The Last Movie.” He also bought the old Taos movie theater, El Cortez, across from the Ranchos de Taos church, and used it to screen different cuts of the movie as he was finishing it.I returned to the Mabel Dodge Luhan house year after year — or whenever my mother would let me. When I was born, my dad had meandered through L.A. a classic Hollywood preppy, clad in T-shirts and khakis with his sneakers worn through at the toes, often covered in paint from the art he was making, camera slung around his neck. He was always proud to sport a new Brooks Brothers raincoat — even if it wasn’t raining. As the 1960s progressed, he headed for the Southwest and hippiedom, in terms of style. Lacoste shirts gave way to mandalas. He wrapped himself head to toe in denim, man bag invariably in tow. And then, as the ’70s set in, my father’s style began to incorporate touches of a deeply cool American maharaja.

买下这栋房子之后，父亲打算离开洛杉矶，永久定居道师城，学习梅贝尔的样子，建立一个创意反文化据点，他的朋友们——艺术家、演员和音乐家——可以在这里相聚，他打算把这个地方叫做“泥巴宫”。洛斯加洛斯有10个以上的卧室，一个客房和一个马车房，足够朋友住下，彼此交流思想。他希望设立一个剪辑室，供他剪辑《最后一部电影》(The Last Movie)。他还买下了了道师城的老影院艾尔·科特斯，它就坐落在道师城兰乔教堂对面，在他制作《最后一部电影》期间，在这家影院放映过好几次这部片子的不同版本。年复一年，我都会来到梅贝尔·道奇·卢汉的房子——只要妈妈让我来我就过来。我出生的时候，爸爸在洛杉矶到处闲逛，是个典型的好莱坞预科生模样，穿T恤衫，卡其布裤子，破旧的帆布鞋磨破了，漏出了脚趾头，他就用自己画的画遮住，相机挂在脖子上。他总是骄傲地穿着一件崭新的布鲁克斯兄弟牌雨衣，就算不下雨的时候也不例外。在60年代期间，他追求西南和嬉皮的风尚。鳄鱼牌衬衫换成了曼陀罗。全身穿的都是牛仔布，男士包也是少不了的。后来到了70年代，父亲的风格开始有了酷酷的美国王公的感觉。

Turquoise stones crowned his belt buckles and Stetsons, every surface bejeweled with royal abandon. He wore coats woven from Navajo blankets lined in sheepskin. One day he showed up at our house at 1712 with Michelle Phillips (before marrying her in Taos for eight days) on his way to the Academy Awards. They were dressed in matching velvet ensembles. By that time, my father, who had begun our first trip to New Mexico by telling stories about the wonderful characters in Taos who filled up the town, had become one of them, every bit as colorful as D. H. Lawrence or Millicent Rogers at the height of their power.

他的皮带扣和斯泰森毡帽上点缀着绿松石，所有物件上都装点着珠宝，外套上编着纳瓦霍地毯的花纹，里面用带毛的羊皮衬里。一次，出席奥斯卡颁奖礼路上，他带着米歇尔·菲利普斯(Michelle Phillips)出现在我们1712号的家里（后来他们在道师城结婚，婚姻只维持了八天），两人穿着配套的丝绒衣服。还记得我们第一次去新墨西哥旅行时，父亲讲了那么多关于住在那里的精彩人物的故事，如今他也成了其中的一员，和D·H·劳伦斯或米利森·罗杰斯一样丰富多彩，置身权力顶峰。

As the ’70s wore on, the vibe changed. The big bohemian party began to tilt off the rails. The Mud Palace artists’ colony, at one time inspiring and experimental, became unfamiliar. One morning Dennis went down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and found he didn’t know a single person in his kitchen. He fled and went to live in the Tony Luhan property next door. Once, I saw a pistol on the living room table. When I told my dad I was scared of guns, he told me, “Not to worry. I just used the gun to shoot my Andy Warhol ‘Mao’ painting. I fired a warning shot.”

随着70年代的流逝，风潮也在改变。巨大的波西米亚派对开始走偏。泥巴宫的艺术家聚居地曾经富于实验性，为人们带来灵感，此时也开始变得陌生。一天早晨，丹尼斯走进厨房做咖啡，发现厨房里的人他一个也不认识。他走出去，住进隔壁托尼·卢汉的房子。又一次，我看见起居室的桌上放着一把手枪。我告诉爸爸我害怕枪，他说：“别担心，我只是用枪来打安迪·沃霍尔(Andy Waorhol)的《毛》(Mao)画像。我这是鸣枪警告。”

Though in a manner of speaking he had been voted off his own island by a bunch of strangers, he refused to abandon his beloved Taos and kept going, marrying the extraordinarily beautiful dancer and actress Daria Halprin. They had my sister Ruthanna, and my dad opened a gallery called Dennis Hopper Works of Art, which he carefully curated. The openings were fantastic happenings with the likes of Allen Ginsberg and Kris Kristofferson in attendance. One time, he had white T-shirts printed with turquoise squash blossoms around the collar to celebrate a new showing of an artist’s work. Friends I grew up with in Taos still have theirs — and wear them. But then, after my father and Daria divorced a few years later, he retreated into solitude. He withdrew from his family. He withdrew from himself.

尽管在某种程度上，他是被一群陌生人放逐出了自己的岛屿，但他没有放弃心爱的道师城。他继续生活在这里，娶了美丽的舞蹈演员兼电影演员达利娅·哈尔普林(Daria Halprin)，生下了我妹妹卢森娜(Ruthanna)。爸爸还开了一家画廊，名叫“丹尼斯·霍珀艺术馆”，并悉心经营着它。开幕式非常热闹，有艾伦·金斯堡和克里斯·克里斯托弗森(Kris Kristofferson)之类人物光临。有一次，为了庆祝一个艺术家的新展览，他向人们分发领子周围画着松石色南瓜花的白T恤衫。和我在道师城一起长大的朋友们还保留着这些T恤，还在继续穿。但是后来，父亲和达利娅离婚几年后，他保持独身，远离家庭，越来越孤僻。

The Mabel Dodge Luhan house was eventually sold, its furniture packed up piecemeal. Despite a brief but fabulously demented cameo in “Apocalypse Now,” Dad remained lost in Taos, until he resurfaced, years later, sober, as the oxygen-huffing madman Frank Booth in “Blue Velvet.”

梅贝尔·道奇·卢汉的房子最后终于被卖掉了，家具也拆了。尽管在《现代启示录》(Apocalypse Now)中有过短暂却又精彩而疯狂的客串出演，父亲一直迷失在道师城，直到多年后他清醒地重新露面，在《蓝丝绒》(Blue Velvet)中饰演吸氧的疯子弗兰克·布思(Frank Booth)。

He did eventually return to Taos, transforming the El Cortez theater into his home and art studio. He had the upstairs projection room made into his bedroom. A window in front of his bed looked directly out on his beloved Ranchos Church, the same church that Georgia O’Keeffe famously painted years before. He went there to paint and to see friends, many of whom, like Dean Stockwell, Larry Bell, Kenny Price and Ron Cooper, were artists he knew from the ’60s, who lived and had their studios there.

最后他还是回到了道师城，把艾尔·科特斯影院改成了自己的家和艺术工作室。他把楼上的放映室改成卧室。从床前的窗子能看到他深爱的兰乔教堂，几年前，乔治亚·欧姬芙(Georgia O’Keeffe)在这里作画的事情闻名一时。他也到那里画画，看望朋友，其中许多人，比如迪恩·斯托克威尔(Dean Stockwell)、拉里·贝尔、肯尼·普莱斯(Kenny Price)和罗恩·库珀(Ron Cooper)都是他从60年代就认识的，他们现在都住在这里，拥有自己的工作室。

Ultimately, he chose to be buried in Taos. After an emotional ceremony near the Ranchos church, his coffin was lowered into the sacred ground as a band of Hell’s Angels lovingly gunned the engines of their motorcycles in a final tribute. And my father rode off into the sunset for good.

最终他也选择埋葬在道师城。葬礼在兰乔教堂附近举行，令人伤感，棺椁被葬在教堂墓地，在最后的仪式上，有一群“地狱天使”骑着机车鸣枪致意。我的父亲就这样永远消逝在夕阳之下。