智能手机靠噱头还能走多远

Imagine you make cars and come to work one day to discover that everyone in the world has a vehicle that does everything they need and no one wants to replace it.

想象一下你制造汽车，某天上班后发现全世界每个人都拥有一辆汽车，而那辆车可以做他们需要的一切事情，没人想要换掉它。

This is not unlike the position smartphone makers are in today. Billions of people now carry a pocket computer with capabilities that exceed even science fiction’s predictions. And they’re mostly happy with their Star Trek-like devices.

这很像智能手机制造商当下的处境。如今，数十亿人都随身携带一台运算能力甚至超出科幻小说预言的“便携式计算机”。而且，他们基本上对这些《星际迷航》(Star Trek)一样的设备感到满意。

For phonemakers, then, it’s an “innovate or die” scenario. But the innovations that everyone in the world wants — vastly better battery life, a perfect signal everywhere and perhaps a teleportation app — may never be attainable.

因此，对于手机制造商而言，这将是一场“创新或死亡”的游戏。但是，全世界人人都想要的创新——得到极大改善的电池续航力、无处不在的完美信号，甚至一款“瞬间转移”应用——或许永远无法实现。

So unless you’re Apple, which is starting to be perceived as a little bit boring, the way ahead in smartphones has to be solutions in pursuit of problems people didn’t know they had.

所以，除非你是已经开始被视为有点乏味的苹果(Apple)，否则智能手机的下一步发展必须是为人们尚不知道存在的问题提供解决方案。

Last week’s most-publicised such solution was Huawei’s sleek P9, with its twin cameras and arresting co-branding with Germany’s elite Leica camera company. One can only hope for the Chinese manufacturer that the consuming masses have heard of Leica.

上周造势得最沸沸扬扬的此类解决方案是华为(Huawei)发布的线条流畅的P9手机。该款手机配备了双摄像头，并以与德国顶级的徕卡(Leica)相机公司进行品牌合作为卖点。人们只能期盼这家中国制造商的消费群体听说过徕卡。

But my 2016-so-far award for inventive problem finding has to go to LG, South Korea’s estimable, but second-ranking chaebol. Its new flagship phone — the G5 — launched in London a tactical day before the P9. And I found myself in equal measure impressed and amused by it.

但2016年迄今，在创造性地发现问题方面，我更看好的是韩国LG。虽然是一家受人尊敬的公司，但LG在韩国的大企业中只屈居第二梯队。LG的战术是，在华为发布P9前一天在伦敦推出了其新款旗舰手机G5。我发现这款手机既让我印象深刻，也让我觉得好玩。

Aside from its own twin cameras, LG’s effort has the overarching gimmick of being the first modular mobile phone. Press a button and half the device’s insides plop out, revealing space for extra gadgets to slot in, such as a Bang & Olufsen sound-enhancing music module and an attachment to convert the phone into a traditional camera.

除了其搭载的双摄像头，LG此番努力的最重要噱头在于，G5是首款模块化手机。按下按钮，G5内部一半的模块会弹出，为插入附加设备——比如一款加强音效的Bang & Olufsen品牌音乐模组，或者一款将手机转变为传统相机的配件——留出空间。

There is also a virtual reality headset — the best I’ve seen — and a slot-in projector is in the works. Then there’s the spherical robot, which under your control from the phone will roll around the house entertaining the cat and censoring what the kids are watching on TV (they still watch TV?).

G5还配有一款我见过的最好的虚拟现实头罩，LG还在开发一款插入式投影仪。还有一款你可以用G5手机控制的球形机器人，让它满屋子转来转去地逗猫或者监督孩子们在看什么电视节目（他们还看电视？）。

Now, leaving aside that I know there is at least one more modular phone due out this year (and another surprising camera co-branding on the horizon), the LG G5 is truly interesting and must have half a chance of taking off. It is crazily packed with features: no one could ever learn a quarter of its capabilities.

且不提我知道今年至少还有一款模块化手机将会推出（以及另一款出人意料与相机进行品牌合作的手机），LG的G5真的很有意思，肯定有一半的胜算可以畅销。这款手机集成的功能太多了：没有人掌握得了四分之一的功能。

Does it, I asked at the launch, almost to be awkward, have the feature I first saw from Huawei that’s wildly popular in Asia, where software will “beautify” your face in a selfie — but not the faces of your friends? Of course it does.

在G5的发布会上，我几乎有些尴尬地问道，这款手机有没有我在华为手机上首次见到的、在亚洲广受欢迎的自拍时为自己“美颜”（但不给你的朋友美颜）的功能？当然有。

With deference to the fact that North Korea is a little different from South Korea, I find it hard not to call this, in a Korean phone, the Kim Jong Un mode.

虽然朝鲜和韩国有所不同，但我忍不住把这种功能称为“金正恩模式”。

LG’s modular idea will be hit or miss. The smallest gimmick can catch on in phones. Just the G5’s trick of sliding its innards out could become iconic in a small way. It combines the alarming nature of grandpa popping out his dentures with a sultry, gun-like menace.

LG的模块化理念可能盛行，也可能昙花一现。手机上最小的噱头也可能流行起来。仅是G5的内部模块弹出功能就可能以小小的方式变得具有偶像性。它结合了祖父摘下假牙般的令人震惊与扳动枪机般迷人的冷酷形象。

What is cutest about LG’s venture is the challenge to its mighty rival, Samsung. LG leapfrogging Samsung’s phones is, in football terms, like a defender on my second-tier Nottingham Forest team nutmegging Lionel Messi.

LG此举的最妙之处是挑战其强大的对手三星(Samsung)。LG在手机上一下子超越三星，用足球打比喻，就像我最爱的乙级的诺丁汉森林队(Nottingham Forest)的一名后卫把球从莱昂内尔•梅西(Lionel Messi)的两腿之间传过去。

LG, on the other hand, has got things (as it has before) a tiny bit wrong — charmingly, adorably wrong, but wrong nonetheless. The modules for the G5, for example, are officially called “friends”. And the part of LG where friends come from is “the LG playground”.

另一方面，同以前一样，LG犯了一点点错误——错得很可爱，但还是错了。例如，G5的模块被正式地称为“朋友”。而这些朋友来自“LG游乐场”。

No, no and thrice no. This must be LG’s ditsyest linguistic error since 2009, when they announced a “borderless” TV — supposedly with a picture going right to the screen’s edge. Except that the picture had perfectly normal borders, which was quite bizarre.

不，不，还是不。这一定是LG自2009年以来最粗心的用词不当，那年他们发布了一款“无边框”电视——按说应该是画面直达屏幕边缘。只是那款电视机有完全正常的边框，这很古怪。

So where does it all lead? I had lunch last week with Carl Pei, the 26-year-old founder of OnePlus, the cult Chinese smartphone maker.

那么，这一切将意味着什么？上周，我与中国智能手机制造商一加(OnePlus) 26岁的联合创始人裴宇(Carl Pei)共进了午餐。一加手机在特定的消费群体中很受欢迎。

“What will your phones do in five or 10 years’ time?” I asked.

我问道：“5年或10年后，你们的手机能做什么？”

“I’m not so sure,” Mr Pei said. “Smart watches have not succeeded, but I’m wondering now whether these technologies will be starting to be integrated into the [human] body.”

“我不太确定”，裴宇说，“智能手表并未获得成功，但我现在揣测这些技术会不会将开始融入人体。”

I can’t wait to see how that prediction looks in 2026.

我盼着要看看这一预测在2026年是否会变为现实。