爆笑图集:你就这样毁掉了你的面试
1 What‘s your greatest strength? —— I’m good at saying no and knowing my limits.
你最大的优点是什么?——我善于说不,懂得自己的界限。Can you give an example of a time that was useful? —— No,I cannot.
你能举个例子说明这一优点的用处吗?——不,我不能。2 Why did you leave your last job? —— My last job was school.
你上一次离职的原因是什么?——我上一个工作是上学。
Oh. —— And they didn’t pay me.
噢。——而且学校还没付我工资。In fact I paid them. —— Wow!—— I know!
事实上我还得给他们钱。——噢!——就是啊!3. Name a weakness . —— My questions sound like insults.
说说你的缺点。——我提的问题带有敌意。Um… can you give me an example? —— Can you not think of one yourself?
呃……你能举个例子吗?——你自己不能举个例子吗?4. Why should we hire you? —— You have a job opening.
我们为什么要雇用你?——你们有一个职位空缺。Yes but many people applied. —— OK wow didn’t know I had to do your job too.
是的,但是我们有很多应聘者。——好吧,我也不是非要干你这个工作不可呀!5 Describe a failure and how you responded. —— I applied to a better company but they didn’t hire me, so I applied here.
说说你曾经遭遇过的失败以及你是如何应对的。——我应聘了一家更好的公司,但是他们没有雇用我。所以我应聘了这个职位。Wow… seriously? —— I know!But you know, desperate times and all…
噢……你不是在开玩笑吧?——你懂的!病急乱投医,如此这般……’s your 5 year plan?
说说你的五年计划。Ok, one year plan.
好吧,一年计划。Ok, any future plan at all. —— I have a snickers in my freezer.
好吧,只要是关于未来的计划都行。——我的冰箱里有一条士力架。will you bring to this company? —— A stapler.
你能给这家公司带来什么?——一个订书机。I mean-What proficiencies…
我是说——你有什么熟练技能……Skills
技巧Gifts
天赋(礼物)——Ok, you can have the stapler.
——好吧,这个订书机可以送给你作为礼物。8. Why did you apply here? —— Oh I applied to dozens of places.
你为什么要应聘这家公司?——哦,我应聘了几十家公司。Ok but more specifically. —— specifically 3.5 dozen.
好吧,请具体说说。——具体来说我应聘了42家公司。e do you see yourself in 5 years? —— Hmmmm 2022
你觉得自己五年后会是怎样?——嗯……2022年(想到了《未来战争2022》)Shield your eyes! Gamma blast imminent. —— Sir, are you OK?
掩护你的眼睛!马上有伽玛射线暴!——先生,你没事吧?10. Name a strength. —— I prevent conflicts before they start.
说说你的优点。——我能在冲突爆发前加以预防。Isn't that conflict avoidance? —— It is. You are right. Let's move on.
那不就是“避免冲突”吗?—— 是的。你是对的。我们继续下一个问题吧!