大家都爱的英语冷笑话
不喜欢的英语的人，在学习起来的时候特别烦躁，从而英语成绩一直上不去。学英语的时候为何不加点乐趣进去呢?小编在此献上英语小故事，希望对你有所帮助。
英语故事带翻译：铁匠与小狗
A Blacksmith had a little Dog, which used to sleep when his master was at work, but was very wide awake indeed when it was time for meals. One day his master pretended to be disgusted at this, and then he had thrown him a bone as usual, he said, “What on earth is the good of a lazy cur like you?” When I am hammering away at my anvil, you just curl up and go to sleep: but no sooner do I stop for a mouthful of food than you wake up and wag your tail to be fed.
铁匠家有一条小狗，小狗常常在主人打铁时睡觉，但是一到了吃饭时间，便异常清醒起来。有一天，铁匠假装对此很生气，一边像往常一样扔给小狗一块骨头，一边说：“地球上还有像你一样懒惰的坏蛋吗?”你这家伙，总是在我卖力工作时，蜷缩起来睡觉，可是，只要我一停下来吃点东西，你就清醒地摇着尾巴过来讨饭吃。“
英语冷笑话：无奈的院长
He Was Only Wrong by Two
他的得数只比正确答案多二
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an American college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enough to be accepted by the college.
杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练，他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行，院方不愿录取。
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."
有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说：“那我最好先问问他几个问题。”
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.
然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。
At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"
最后院长说：“那么，五乘七得多少?”
The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."
学生想了很久，然后回答说：“三十六。”
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说，“噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”
英语故事带翻译：调皮的猴子
It’s very hot. An old man is asleep on the chair. A fly comes and sits on the end of the man’s nose. The old man has a naughty monkey. He chases the fly. The fly comes back again and sits on the old man’s nose again. The monkey chases it away again and again. This happens five or six times. The monkey is very angry. He jumps up, runs to the garden and picks up a large stone. When the fly sits on the old man’s nose again, the monkey hits it hard with the stone. He kills the fly and breaks the old man’s nose.
天气很热。一位老人在椅子上睡着了。 一只苍蝇飞来落在老人的鼻子上。 老人有一只顽皮的猴子。猴子在追打苍蝇。 苍蝇再次飞落在老人的鼻子上，猴子一再追打苍蝇。 这样往返了五六次，猴子很生气。 他跳着跑到花园，捡起一块大石头。 当苍蝇再次落在老人的鼻子上时，猴子用石头击中老人的鼻子上的苍蝇。他砸死了苍蝇也打破了老人的鼻子。
