名著欣赏《芒果街上的小屋》第13期:我的名字(2)

《芒果街上的小屋》 一本优美纯净的小书，一本“诗小说”。由几十个短篇组成，语言清澈如流水，点缀着零落的韵脚和新奇的譬喻，如一首首长歌短调，各自成韵，又彼此钩连，汇聚出一个清晰世界，各样杂沓人生。所有的讲述都归于一个叙述中心：居住在芝加哥拉美移民社区芒果街上的女孩埃斯佩朗莎。生就对弱的同情心和对美的感觉力，她用清澈的眼打量周围的世界，用美丽稚嫩的语言讲述成长、沧桑、生命的美好与不易和年轻的热望与梦想，梦想有一所自己的房子，梦想在写作中追寻自我，获得自由和帮助别人的能力。

　　My name 2
　　And the story goes she never forgave him. She looked out the window her whole life, the way so many women sit their sadness on an elbow. I wonder if she made the best with what she got or was she dory because she couldn`t be all the things she wanted to be. Esperanza. I have inherited her name, but I don't want to inherit her place by the window.

　　At school they say my name funny as if the syllables were made out of tin and hurt the roof of your mouth. But in Spanish my name is made out of a softer something, like silver, not quite as thick as sister`s name—Magdalena—— which is uglier than mine. Magdalena who at least can come home and become Nenny. But I am always Esperanza.

　　I would like to baptize myself under a new name, a name more like the real me, the one nobody see. Esperanza as Lasiandra or Maritza or Zeze the . something like Zeze the X will do.
　　　　　　
　　我的名字 2
　　后来，她永远没有原谅他。她用一生向窗外凝望，像许多女人那样凝望，胳膊肘之前忧伤。我想知道她是否随遇而安；是否会为做不成她想做的人而伤怀。埃斯佩朗莎。我继承了她的名字，可我不想继承她在窗边的位置。

　　在学校里，他们说我的名字很滑稽，音节好像是铁皮做的，会碰痛嘴巴里的上颚。可是在西班牙语里，我的名字是更柔和的东西做的，像银子，没有的妹妹的名字那么浑厚。他叫玛格达蕾娜，这名字没我的美。玛格达蕾娜回到家里可以叫蕾妮。可我总是埃斯佩朗莎。

　　我想给自己起一个新名字，一个和真实的自我更像的名字，一个人见过的名字。埃斯佩兰萨，就像蒂牡花或者马丽茶或者某泽泽。是的，我会起一个就像某泽泽的名字。