《美食祈祷和恋爱》Chapter 60 (135):泪水是生命的一部分

I almost started to cry right then, but quickly realized I didn't need to. Tears are part of this bodily life, and the place where these two souls were meeting that night in India had nothing to do with the body. The two people who needed to talk to each other up there on the roof were not even people anymore. They wouldn't even be talking. They weren't even ex-spouses, not an obstinate midwesterner and a high-strung Yankee, not a guy in his forties and a woman in her thirties, not two limited people who had argued for years about sex and money and furniture—none of this was relevant. For the purposes of this meeting, at the level of this reunion, they were just two cool blue souls who already understood everything. Un-bound by their bodies, unbound by the complex history of their past relationship, they came together above this roof (above me, even) in infinite wisdom. Still in meditation, I watched these two cool blue souls circle each other, merge, divide again and regard each other's per-fection and similarity. They knew everything. They knew everything long ago and they will al-ways know everything. They didn't need to forgive each other; they were born forgiving each other. The lesson they were teaching me in their beautiful turning was, "Stay out of this, Liz. Your part of this relationship is over. Let us work things out from now on. You go on with your life."

当时我几乎哭了出来，但很快意识到自己不需要哭。泪水是肉体生命的一部分，这两个灵魂今晚在印度相会的地方，却与肉体毫不相干。必须在屋顶交谈的两个人，甚至不再是人。他们甚至不说话。他们甚至不是前妻、前夫，不是一个顽固的中西部人和一个神经紧张的北方人，不是四十几岁的男人和三十几岁的女人，不是长年为性、金钱、家具而起争执的两个能力有限的人——这些都无关紧要。为了这次会面，在这次聚会的层面上，他们只是两个冷静、蓝色的灵魂，对一切都已了然在心。他们不受肉体束缚，不受既往的复杂关系史所束缚，他们怀着无穷无尽的智慧，一同来到屋顶上。仍在禅坐中的我，看着这两个冷静的蓝色灵魂绕着彼此旋转，合而为一，再度分开，凝视彼此的完美与相似处。他们无所不知。他们许久以前无所不知，也将永远无所不知。他们无需原谅彼此；他们生来就原谅彼此。他们优美的翻转，教会了我：“小莉，置身事外吧。你在这个关系的角色已经结束。从现在起，由‘我们’来克服困难。你继续过你的生活吧。”

Much later I opened my eyes, and I knew it was over. Not just my marriage and not just my divorce, but all the unfinished bleak hollow sadness of it . . . it was over. I could feel that I was free. Let me be clear—it's not that I would never again think about my ex-husband, or never again have any emotions attached to the memory of him. It's just that this ritual on the rooftop had finally given me a place where I could house those thoughts and feelings whenever they would arise in the future—and they will always arise. But when they do show up again, I can just send them back here, back to this rooftop of memory, back to the care of those two cool blue souls who already and always understand everything.

许久之后，我睁开眼睛，知道结束了。不只是我的婚姻、我的离婚，还有一切未完成的哀伤……都结束了。我感觉到我自由了。我得说清楚——我并非永远不再想起我的前夫，或永远不再对他有情感牵系。只不过屋顶的这场仪式终于提供给我一个地方，让这些想法和感觉在未来出现的时候有地方可去，而这些想法和感觉会永远出现。若再度出现，我可以遣送它们回此处，回到记忆的屋顶，回到已经无所不知也将永远无所不知的这两个冷静的蓝色灵魂。

This is what rituals are for. We do spiritual ceremonies as human beings in order to create a safe resting place for our most complicated feelings of joy or trauma, so that we don't have to haul those feelings around with us forever, weighing us down. We all need such places of ritual safekeeping. And I do believe that if your culture or tradition doesn't have the specific ritual you're craving, then you are absolutely permitted to make up a ceremony of your own devising, fixing your own broken-down emotional systems with all the do-it-yourself resourcefulness of a generous plumber/poet. If you bring the right earnestness to your homemade ceremony, God will provide the grace. And that is why we need God.

这正是仪式的目的。人类之所以举行心灵仪式，是为了给复杂的喜悦或痛苦感觉提供一个安全的休憩地，让我们无须永远带着这些沉重的感觉跑来跑去。我们每个人都需要这种妥善的仪式场所。我始终相信，你的文化或传统若没有自己渴求的特定仪式，那么你绝对可以创造自己制定的仪式，以一个宽厚的水管工诗人亲自想出的机智办法，修补你本身故障的情绪系统。你若认真看待自己亲手制作的仪式，就会蒙神恩宠。这正是我们需要神的理由。

So I stood up and did a handstand on my Guru's roof, to celebrate the notion of liberation. I felt the dusty tiles under my hands. I felt my own strength and balance. I felt the easy night breeze on the palms of my bare feet. This kind of thing—a spontaneous handstand—isn't something a disembodied cool blue soul can do, but a human being can do it. We have hands; we can stand on them if we want to. That's our privilege. That's the joy of a mortal body. And that's why God needs us. Because God loves to feel things through our hands. Eat, Pray, Love

于是我在导师的屋顶上站起来做倒立，欢庆自由。我感觉到手下积了灰尘的地砖，我感觉到自己的力量与平衡，我感觉到舒适的晚风吹在自己赤裸的脚掌。这样的事——不由自主的倒立之举——不是脱离肉体的冷静的蓝色灵魂做得到的事，而人类却做得到。我们有手；只要愿意，我们可以用双手倒立。这是我们的特权。这是凡俗之身的喜悦。这正是神需要我们的理由。因为神喜欢透过我们的双手感受万物。