经典的爆笑英语小笑话
笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。下面是本站小编带来的经典的爆笑英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
A Thank-you Note
Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "
一封感谢信
有一次，我收到一封感谢信，是一个我曾帮助过的朋友寄来的。信封内有五张彩票，都被刮过了，露出了数字。“非常感谢您的帮助，”信上写道，“作为礼物，我给您买了些彩票----真遗憾，您没中奖。”
经典的爆笑英语小笑话篇二Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James was particularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbert meticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. James telephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?"
"Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you're insensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar -you should have broken the news to me slowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but I have called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could have said the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they would succeed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have done their best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Then when I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had been done for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar. And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?"
"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."
报丧方式
郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活，家中有一老母并养了一只猫叫埃德格。詹姆斯特别喜欢这只猫。有一次他要外出几天，临行前不厌其烦地嘱咐郝伯特照顾好这只宠物。出门后的头一天晚上，他打来电话询问：“埃德格好吗?”
“它死了，”郝伯格回答。一阵沉默之后，詹姆斯说：“郝伯特，你真没心没肺，你知道我多么喜欢埃德格----你应该把这个消息慢慢地告诉我。当我问起埃德格今晚怎样时，你应该说，‘埃德格爬上了屋顶，我已给消防队打了电话，让他们把它救下来。’我明天又给你打电话时，你应该说消防队营救埃德格遇到了困难，但你相信他们会成功。在我第三天给你打电话时，你可以说消防队员已尽了最大努力，但很不幸，埃德格从屋顶上掉了下来，被送到兽医那里。在我最后一次给你打电话询问，你可以说尽管对埃德格做了一切所能做的努力，它还是死了。这是一个富有感情的人告诉我埃德格的消息时所用的方式。哦，趁我没忘记还有件事顺便问一下，”詹姆斯补充道，“母亲好吗?”
“哦……”一阵沉默后郝伯特答道，“她上了屋顶。”
经典的爆笑英语小笑话篇三Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.
Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!
Notes:
(1) bachelor n.单身汉
(2) court v.向求爱;追求
(3) boil over 沸腾而溢出(本文指全身心地投入付出)
(4) simmer v.(做菜时)煨(本文指见好就收)
(5) whim n.一时的兴致;奇想
(6) look up探访
要否结婚
弗兰克叔叔七十八岁了，富有而健康。他是个终生单身汉。他曾追求过很多女孩，但“从不过热----见好就收”。一天他突发奇想，决定四处走走，去看看他那些接近一打的旧时女友。
他回来即叹道：“嘘!谢天谢地幸亏我没娶那些女人中的任何一个。如今她们都成寡妇了!”
经典的爆笑英语小笑话篇四离事故有多远?
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.
一位木匠正在为他目击的一起事故作证。
The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.
法官问他当时离事发现场有多远。
The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".
木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。
"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.
法官问：“什么?你怎么能这样确定?”
"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.
木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定会有傻瓜问我这个问题，所以我事先测量了一下。”
经典的爆笑英语小笑话篇五你纳税了吗?
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditorwho had come to reviewhis records.
一个神色紧张的纳税人正闷闷不乐地和前来查帐的国税局的税务审计员交谈。
At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed tolive and work in the USA.
审计员一度大声地说，“Carelton先生，我们认为能在美国生活和工作是莫大的荣幸，
As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with asmile"
而作为一个美国公民，您也有纳税的义务。我们希望您能无比乐意地带着微笑来纳税。”
"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were goingto want me to pay with cash."
“谢天谢地”，Carelton先生咧着嘴大笑地回答，“我还以为你们是要我带着钱来交税呢!”
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