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简短爆笑的英文笑话大全

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笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。小编精心收集了简短爆笑的英文笑话,供大家欣赏学习!

简短爆笑的英文笑话大全
  简短爆笑的英文笑话:Too Passionate?

Three drunks show up at the local whorehouse and the madam realizes they are too drunk to be able to function.

One by one, she sends them up to a room containing an inflatable rubber female doll.

The first drunk returns bragging about what great sex he just got done having; the second one does the same, but the third one returns with a puzzled look on his face.

When asked about it by his buddies he says, "I thought I was doing great until I bit her on the tit, she let a fart and flew out the window!"

  简短爆笑的英文笑话:Ghost Driver

A man stood on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling and no cars passed. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car come towards him and stop. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The car started slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Scared, he started praying, and begged for his life. He hadn't come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time before a curve. The guy gathered strength, got out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he ran into a cantina and asked for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was crying and wasn't drunk. About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same cantina, and one said to the other. "Look Pepe, that's the character who climbed into the car while we were pushing."

  简短爆笑的英文笑话:Ice Fishing

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift.

Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in.

Then suddenly she heard a voice that said, "There are no fish in there."

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spokeagain and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there.

So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."

  简短爆笑的英文笑话:Hung Like Jesus

Q: Why did the blonde want to date Jesus?

A: Stretch your arms straight out sideways with hands also stretched wide open. She heard he was HUNG LIKE THIS!!!!

  简短爆笑的英文笑话:Childbirth Pain

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her firstpregnancy.

The doctor asks her if she has any questions.

She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"

The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."

"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little."

"Like this?"

"A little more."

"Like this?"

"No. A little more."

"Like this?"

"Yes. Does that hurt?"

"A little bit."

"Now stretch it over your head!"


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