英式幽默笑话英文版阅读
笑话是幽默的语言表达。它是一种常见的幽默传达方式。笑话是口头或者书面的幽默语言。下面是本站小编带来的英式幽默笑话阅读，欢迎阅读!
我为妈妈煮了一杯茶(双语阅读)
Have you notlced that children sometimes tyr to be helpful,but lt makes vour life more complicated? This story is about a sick mother whose darUng daughter want to be a good nurse.
不知道你注意到没有，孩子们有时想帮你的忙，但却让你的生活更加复杂。下面是一位患病的母亲，她可爱的女儿想好好照顾她的故事。
A:Mummy,let me fluff the pillow fo you
妈妈，让我把枕头给你抖松。
B:OK.
好吧。
A:Mummy,here is a magazine you can read it.
妈妈，这是本杂志，你可以看看它。
B:k you!
好吧。谢谢你。
A:Mumrny,I make a cup of tea for you,here vou are.
妈妈，我为你煮了一杯茶，给你。
B:(Drinking) are auch sweetheafi,I didn't know you could make tea.
(喝茶)真是好女儿，我不知道休还会煮茶。
A:.I put the tea leaves in the water like you do,and I boiled then I strained it into a I couldn't find a strainer, so I used the flyswatter.
哦，是的，我像你那样把茶叶放在水中，煮开，然后我把它过滤到水杯里。但是我找不到过滤器，我就用了苍蝇拍。
B:You what?
你用了什么?
A:Oh,don'l worry,Mummy.I didn't use the new flyswatter.I used the old one.
哦，别担心，妈妈。我没用新的苍蝇拍，我用的是旧的。
英式幽默笑话阅读篇二迷情酒吧(双语阅读)
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar. One day, oson and his son who had his eigh-teenth birthday go to a public bar.
英格兰，不满18岁是不允许到酒馆喝酒的，一天汤普森在他儿子18岁生日那天，带着他去了酒馆。
A:You are so strict that you never took me here before, Daddy.
爸爸，你太严格了，以前你从不带我来这里。
B:Because you were not old enough.
因为你还不够大。
A:I see.
我知道。
(After half an hour.半小时以后。)
B:Now, Tom,1 want to teach you a useful lesson. You must alway s be careful not to drink too much.
汤姆，现在我给你上一课。你必须注意永远不要喝得过多。
A:Can I know when I have had enough?
我怎么才能知道我喝够了呢?
B:Well,I'll tell you see those two lights at the end o fthe bar?When they seem to have become four, you've had enough and should go home.
听着，你看见酒馆那头的两盏灯了吗?当那儿的灯变成四盏的时候，你就喝够了，该回家了。
A:But Dad,I can only see one light at the end of the bar.
可是，爸爸，我只看见那儿有一盏灯呀。
英式幽默笑话阅读篇三霓裳炫影(双语阅读)
When a village fool blossomed out all of a sudden in new clothes,the neighbors wondered at his property.
村子里的白痴突然发了大财，穿上了新衣服，邻居们对他的暴富感到很惊奇。
A:What's happened to you?
你做了什么事?
B:1 won the first prize in the lottery.
我中了头彩。
A:How did you come to guess the luck number?
你是怎么猜中幸运号码的?
B:Well, three times running I dreamed of seven; so I figured it out that three times seven are twenty-four, and I bought ticket number 24 I won the first prize.
哦，我做梦梦见了7这个号码三次。于是我算出7的3倍是24.于是我买了号码是24的彩票。这张票中了头彩。
A:NVhy, you blamed fool, three times seven is twenty-one, not twenty-four.
哎呀，你这个该死的傻瓜，7的3倍是21不是24。
B:Is that so? Well, twenty-four won, anyway.
是这样吗?哦，不管怎么说，24中了。
英式幽默笑话阅读篇四窈窕塑身(双语阅读)
A healthy mind is in a healthy body.
健全的精神寓于健康的体魄。
A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the op-erating table, she had a near-death saw God.
一个叫雪莉的妇女来自贝弗利山。一天，她心脏病发作，被送进了塞达斯辛耐医院。在手术台上，她经历了生死的瞬间。她见到了上帝。
A:Is this it?
我就这样完了吗?
B:No,you have another 30 to 40 years to live.
不，你还能活三四十年。
( Upon her recovery ,she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants,a face Iift, liposuction and breast even had someone dye. her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Ce-dars Sinai lobby after the alst operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.
心脏病好了之后，她决定待在医院里，作胶原蛋白注射、面颊移植、脸部隆型、吸脂术以及隆胸等一系列美容整容手术。她还请人烫染了头发。她想既然自己还有三四十年的活头，就应该好好活出个滋味儿来。她做完最后一个手术后，刚走出塞达斯辛耐医院，就被一辆迎头疾驰而来的救护车撞死了。)
A:I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?
我原以为你说过我还能活三四十年?
B:Shirley!I didn't recognize you!
雪莉!我没认出是你!
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