英语幽默笑话：Double Entendre at Play

"Madam," said the irate conductor to a totally incompetent woman cellist during rehearsal, "you have between your legs an instrument that could give pleasure to thousands…and all you seem able to do is scratch it."

Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his pale lips moved. "Jake," she said.

"Hush," he quickly interrupted, "don't talk."

But she insisted. "Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I must confess."

"There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Jake.

"It's all right. Everything's all right."

"No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have been unfaithful to you."

Jake stroked her hand. "Now, Becky, don't be concerned. I know all about it," he sobbed. "Why else would I poison you?"

　　一个妻子的临终忏悔

临终的Becky躺在床上，他的丈夫Jake守在她的旁边，握着她冰凉的手，泪流满面。

她苍白的嘴唇翕动着，“Jake,”她说。

“安静，”他快速地打断她,“别说话。”

但是她坚持，“Jake,”她用疲惫的声音说，“我不能不说话。我必须忏悔。”

“没有什么可忏悔的。”痛苦的Jake说。

“没关系。一切都很好。”

不，不。我必须在平静中死去。我必须忏悔，Jack,那就是我一直对你不忠。”

Jack抚摸着她的手说。“现在，Becky,别担心。我已经知道一切了。”他呜咽着，“要不我干嘛毒死你。”