英语笑话大全爆笑短
笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。小编精心收集了爆笑英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
i'm not having it all cut off
没把头发全剪掉啊
miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. but this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. while miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.
麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发，但这是违反办公室规定的：职员只能利用自己的时间理发。一天，正当麦尔斯理发时，经理碰巧也进来理发，而且就坐在他旁边。
"hello, miles," the manager said. "i see that you are having your hair cut in office time."
"你好，麦尔斯，"经理说。"我看到你在上班时间理发了。"
"yes, sir, i am," admitted miles calmly. "you see, sir, it grows in office time."
"是的，先生。正是这样。"麦尔斯平静地承认了。"可先生，你看，头发是在上班时间长的。"
"not all of it," said the manager at once. "some of it grows in your own time."
"不全都是吧，"经理立刻说，"有一些是在你自己的时间里长的。"
"yes, sir, that's quite true." answered miles politely, "but i'm not having it all cut off."
"对呀，先生，你说得很对。"麦尔斯礼貌地回答说，"但我并没有把头发全都剪掉啊。"
爆笑英语笑话篇2a life for a life
以“命”抵命
the english author, richard savage, was once living inlondon in great poverty. in order to earn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad been sold in the shops, and savage was living from hand tomouth. as a result of his lack of food he became very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, he got well again.
英国作家理查德·萨维奇一度在伦敦过着贫困潦倒的生活，为了赚几个钱，他曾写了有关他自己生平的故事。但是这部书在书店里并没有卖出几本，萨维奇过着朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物，他病得很厉害。后来，由于给他治疗的那个医生的高明医术，他才又恢复了健康。
after a week or two the doctorsent a bill to savage for his visits, but poor savage hadn't anymoney and couldn't pay it. the doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. but still no money came. afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. inthe end he came to savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to savage, “you know you owe your life to me and iexpected some gratitude from you.”
过了一两个星期之后，医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的帐单，但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了帐单，但仍然未索回分文。几个星期之后，他又送来帐单要钱。最后，医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中，对他说：“你明白，你是欠我一条命的，我希望你有所报答。”
“i agree,” said savage, “that i owe my life to you, and toprove to you that i am not ungrateful for your work i will givemy life to you.”
“是的，”萨维奇说，“我是欠你一条命，为了向你证明我对你的诊治不是不报答，我将把我的命给你。”
with these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,the life of richard savage.
说着这番话，萨维奇递给医生两卷书，名叫《理查德·萨维奇的一生》。
爆笑英语笑话篇3senior class
年长者阶层
during the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, i told him that mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. he then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.
医生按期来探视我的老母。我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。医生听了也很高兴，为此，他弯下腰来亲了她一下。然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日，并要求她还他一个吻。
when he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "can you imagine, " she said. "seventy dollars and i had to kiss him too!
医生走后，我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。“你能想象吗，”她说，“付了他70元，我还得亲他!”
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