英语笑话故事带翻译大全
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谁死的更惨
Three stood by the golden gate and St. Peter said，St. Peter said, “sorry，we' re all filled up, so only one of you can come into heaven. So, out of you three, the one who had the most tragic death of all may enter the heaven.”
三个男人站在天堂门外，圣彼得说:“对不起，我们这里已经人满为患你们中只有一个人能够进人天堂。所以，你们三个人当中死得最惨的那个才能进入。”
The first man spoke, "well，I am a newlywed and I tend to get jealous of my wife and her male friends, so I forbid her to see any of them when I was at work. But today I came home early and saw two wine glasses on the coffee table and when I asked my wife what was going on, she blushed and was silent. I searched the entire house for her male friend and finally I spotted someone’s hands grasping the railing on our balcony. In a fit of rage I stomped on the hands until the rascal fell 15 stories down into the bin below. When I realized he was still alive, I unhooked my fridge and throw it over the railing. In the process of doing this, I had a heart attack.”
第一个人说:“我刚结婚不久，很嫉妒我的妻子和他的男性朋友，所以在我上班的时候，我禁止她见任何的男性朋友。但是今天我回家较早，看见咖啡桌上放着两个葡萄酒杯，当我问妻子发生了什么事情的时候，她红着脸不说话。我搜遍了整个屋子想找出那个男人，最后发现有个人的手抓住了我家
凉台的栏杆。我对着那双手就是一阵狂踢，直到那个流氓从十五楼上掉下去，可惜下面正好有一堆纸箱，当我得知他还活着时，就搬起家里的冰箱从阳台上向下砸去，然后就突发心脏病身亡。”
St. Peter replied, "wow, that's too bad. Next?"
圣彼得说:“噢，够惨的。下一个?”
The second man began to speak，` I am a window washer and I was minding my own business and washing the seventeenth story windows at an apartment when my safety rope snapped and I began to fa11.I reached out and in a stroke of luck on to a balcony railing on the fifteenth. I was trying to catch my breath and wait it for someone to rescue me when some lunatic started to stomp on my hands until I lost my grip and fell into the bin below. I opened my eye in disbelief only to see a fridge come crashing down onto my head.”
第二个人说:“我是一个窗户清洁工，一天我正在清洗公寓十七楼的窗户，安全带不幸突然崩断，我开始坠落，但幸运的是我抓住了十五楼阳台的栏杆，我屏住了呼吸等着人来救我，突然有个神经病人乱踢我的手，直到我失手掉进下面的一堆纸箱。我睁开眼睛一看，一个冰箱正朝我的头上砸来。”
St. Peter replied: "my, my. . . that is bad. Next?"
圣彼得说:“哎哟，……够惨的。下一个?”
The third man spoke last, "well, I was hiding in the fridge when. . .”
第三个最后说:“哎，我当时正藏在冰箱里，突然……”
英语笑话故事带翻译篇二妻管严
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely. Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives’ directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall.
古代有位国王，想驳斥一种传言，说他所辖的臣民都受妻子统治。他将全国的男人都召来，并警告说，任何不讲真话的人都将受到严惩。然后，他让那些顺从妻子的男人站到大厅的左边.
All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
所有的男人都站到了左边，只有一个小个子男人站到了右边。
"It's good to see，”said the king, "that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chicken-hearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.”
“这很好，”国王说:“我们国家总算还有一位真正的男子汉。你告诉这些软弱的笨蛋，为什么这么多人只有你站在大厅的右边。”
“Your Majesty,” came the reply in a squealing voice，"it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”
“陛下，”那个男人尖声气地答道:“这是因为离家前，我老婆告诉我，不许扎堆。”
英语笑话故事带翻译篇三很高兴认识你
During World War Two, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
第二次世界大战期间，英国的许多青年妇女在军中服役。琼·菲利普斯就是其中的一个。她在一个大军营里工作，自然结识了许多男人，既有军官，又有士兵。
One evening she met Captain Humphrey at a dance. He said to her, "I' m going abroad tomorrow, but I'd be very happy if we could write to each other.” Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
一天晚上，她在舞会上认识了汉弗莱兹上尉。他对她说:“明天我将出国，如果我们能相互通信，我将非常高兴。”琼同意了。他们书信来往，数月不断。
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
后来他的来信中断了，但她收到另一位军官的来信，信中告诉她汉弗莱兹受了伤，现住在英国某陆军医院里。
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I've come to visit captain Humphrey.”
琼找到那家医院，对护士长说:“我来探望汉弗莱兹上尉。”
Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
“这里只允许亲属探望病人。”护士长说。
“Oh, that' s all right，”answered Joan." I'm his sister.”
“哦，那好吧，”琼回答说:“我是他妹妹。”
"I’m very pleased to meet you ,”the matron said，"I' m his mother!”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说:“我是他的母亲。”
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