关于初二下册英语笑话

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　　关于初二下册英语笑话：Boy, Oh Boy

When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing,whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."

As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "

　　关于初二下册英语笑话：Wilberforce(威尔伯佛斯)

Wilberforce stood for Parliament on one occasion， and hissister helped him with his election campaign. The Bribery andCorruption Acts had not been framed in those days ; consequently， the sister offeRed to give a new dress to the wife of every man who voted for her brother. This offer pleased the voters immensely， and at one meeting there went up a cry of“Miss Wilberforce for ever!”The lady in question rosequickly from her chair on the platform and said：

“Oh，please，don't. I have no wish to be Miss Wilhberforce for ever .”

有一次，威尔伯佛斯做国会议员候选人，他的妹妹帮助 他搞竞选运动。那时候，行贿和腐败法案尚未拟定;因此，这位妹妹提出愿意送一件新衣服给每一个投她哥哥票的男人的妻子。这项提议使选民们极为满意。在一次集会上，人们高呼：“威尔伯佛斯小姐万岁!”该女士迅速从讲台上她的坐椅 上站起来，说：

“噢，请别这么说。我可不想永远做威尔伯佛斯小姐。”

　　关于初二下册英语笑话：Hogarth(霍迦斯)

The great painter was asked，one day to paint a picture of“Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea”.A little while after the picture had been commenced，a hitch arose over the fee，and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was com pleted， the patron was asked to come and inspect a matter of fact，the picture was just one daub of brilliant red.

“What's this?” exclaimed the purchaser.I asked for theRed Sea， on the occasion of thecelebrated passage.”

“That's it，”replied Hogarth.

“But，where are the Israelites?”

“They are all gone over.”

“Where are the Egyptians?”

“They're all drowned.”

一天，有人请这位伟大的画家画一幅“法老王渡红海”图。这幅画刚开始不久，酬金就出现了问题。霍迪斯发现，完成这幅画后，他只能得到他想要的大约一半的钱。当作品完成之后，那位主顾被请来看画。其实，这幅画不过是胡乱涂抹的一片鲜红。

“这是什么?”那位买主喊了起来。“我要的是红海，是那次著名的航海。”

“这就是，”霍迦斯回答说。

“可是以色列人在哪儿?”

“他们都已经渡过去了。”

“埃及人在哪儿?”

“他们全都淹死了。”

　　关于初二下册英语笑话：I Can't Let Him Get Away

A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away they got married immediately.

The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.

　　关于初二下册英语笑话：Hasty Interruption

The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the ntly I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one, " I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. "

Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"

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