【托福写作备考】要对自己的托福作文进行自我审核

在托福备考过程中，写作练习除了不断看一下高分的范文外，始终还是要进行一些自己的动笔练习的。下面就为大家带来如何审核自己的托福写作练习，希望能为大家的备考带来一些帮助。

【托福写作备考】要对自己的托福作文进行自我审核

托福文章字数

当然，对于审核自己的托福文章的字数，当然不会是要求大家每次作文后一字一字的数有没有达到标准要求。而是，在写作时需要明一些问题，包括主题论点确定了么?考题有明确的分论点展开么?每个分论点中有明确的论述或是例证么?这些都是对托福作文最为基本的要求，如果这些要求都已经达到，那字数这个问题也自然就不用提了。

言语过于简单

对于初入托福写作的学生来说，除了文章的字数问题之外，就是其中频频出现过于简单的句型。对于一种语言考试来说，虽然不要求你使用高难度词汇或语法，但是如果出现过多的简单句，也会造成评分的下降。比如，在形容词中用了过于抽象化的词语，这些词语不但不能非常到位的表述想要表达的内容。同时，也会让阅卷人产生误解，你的词汇基础真的可以么?

模板痕迹太重

想要快速上手托福写作，很多中国学生都会选择使用模板的方式。但是，在使用的过程中，还是要提醒大家，边练习边收集好自己的素材和例证。太过于追求经典范文中的内容，对其进行背诵，其实对于自己写作的得分并不会带来什么帮助。

　　托福写作解析：高分需要注意的三个问题

一.英语基本功

在托福独立写作中，并没有相关的阅读和听力内容可以帮助考生组织自己的语言，考生在答题的时候能凭借的仅仅是自己的英语基本功。在考试中，很多考生因为对于词汇和语法不熟悉，所以不能恰当的使用词汇来表达自己的观点，文章中的句子和句子之间逻辑的关系混乱。

建议：考生在备考托福写作的过程中，首先要重视托福词汇的备考，对于基础比较薄弱的考生来说，要从四级词汇开始背起，然后逐步过渡到六级词汇和托福词汇的备考。建议考生在备考词汇的时候要制定一些背词汇的计划表，有步骤的去背诵。其次，考生要重视语法的积累，要重点掌握被动语态，强调句型，非谓语动词，从句的使用方法。

二.中式翻译

英语毕竟不是我们的母语，很多考生在学习英语的时候习惯性的用中式思维来表达自己的观点，比如很多考生用black society来表达黑社会的含义，用eight hang来表达八卦的意思。但是判卷的考官并不是中国人，考官并不明白考生真正想要表达的意思是什么，考生在托福写作考试中，很容易因为这样而出现低分的现象。

建议：针对有这种情况的考生，小编认为，如果想要改变这种现状，就一定要多听多看。建议考生通过一些经典的美剧比如《生活大爆炸》，《老友记》，或者是一些经典的美国大片比如《阿凡达》，《风月俏佳人》等等来增强对于英语中语境的熟悉程度，提升语感。

三.套路化明显

很多考生在写托福写作的时候会背诵模板，在考试的时候，不管遇到了什么题目都生搬硬套的使用模板，这样在考官判卷的时候，很多作文框架千篇一律，如出一辙，极大的降低了考生的分数。

建议：建议考生在备考托福阅读的时候，每天进行英文写作练习，用英文来写日记，在写作的过程中增强自己的写作能力。

　　托福写作解析：电影和电视的利弊

托福写作题目：

A/D Movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

30分作文也没有那么难做到啦。这是一篇近期考出30分写作的同学的考前习作。这个考试季很多同学反映写作压分，30分的作文单项分已经很罕见。我们一起看看，在这个季节，什么样的作文能稳稳拿下考场高分。

总结一下几个要点

1. 清晰有力的论证逻辑

2. 准确的用词

3. 句式的适当变化，如排比，虚拟，短句的偶尔出现。

4. 小错误多次出现可以容忍

托福写作满分作文：

Whenever I turn on TV, I see dark themes and plots of programs broadcast on it. Just calculate roughly, there are about 30 programs whose theme is pessimistic in every 40 programs. 【眼尖的同学一眼能看出来几处语法错误，显然ETS不那么介意;我们要学习的是作者用数字说明问题】And there are so many plots orienting adults that should not be seen by young people.【上面两个句子点出电视节目的两个问题，为论点的出现做充足铺垫】So I strongly believe that movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. 【出论点，论点句要稳扎稳打，千万别此刻玩花的，花大了别人没看懂就麻烦了】This is not only because young people will imitate the inappropriate behavior in the programs, but also because the dark theme of them will distort the way young people view the world.【预告自己的两个分论点，老套的开头结构，胜在稳重清晰】

Firstly, young people may imitate the bad behavior they saw on televisions and movies.【同样，观点句不许玩花的，老实点儿】 Young people, especially children, are not sophisticated enough to think about the consequences【用词准确】 or their behavior carefully, and they are often eager to try new things 【解释论点句为什么成立--因为年轻人有这些特性】. Television programs and movies often include some violent behavior in them in order to make the plots more inviting【用词准确】 and attract more people to watch.【重申电视节目的特点，暴力镜头多，与上一句‘年轻人爱模仿’的信息合起来为下一句短句的力量制造必要条件】 So here is the problem【我们一再强调的短句的力量】. Young people will probably try those inappropriate【用词准确】 behaviors they saw on televisions, thinking they are normal or acceptable.【换个方式把论点句重新说了一遍，但并不让人觉得重复，因为顺承上文的逻辑推理而成立。全段没有一个例子，直接用纯论证完成，功力可见】

Secondly, lots of pessimistic themes of television programs or movies will make young people feel sad about the world. 【虽然主语长了一些，但作为论点句，依然是经典的主谓宾结构，简洁明了】As mentioned in the former paragraph, there are violence in TV programs and movies, and young people may not only imitate those bad behaviors, but also affected by the sad view in these programs.【借力上一段的内容，回点上段，增加文章内部的粘结力，但是在上一段所讨论信息的基础上向前推进一步，推出新论点，经典的承上启下结构】 Because they are during a period when their ways of looking at the world are formed, seeing too much about the dark side of the society is no good for their growth.【解释上一句为什么成立--因为年轻人世界观正在成形,应该用being formed 而不是are formed，但这种小错误不影响高分】It can create a false sense of reality【用词准确，来自平时的积累】, as if the only newsworthy events are those that are tragic or violent. They may form a bad habit of always looking at people or events from a dark point of view, feeling hopeless and despairing, even conducting some self-destructive behaviors.【这个列举的句子如果从sat语法的角度来说也是错误多多的……不过从语义上来说，做了一个因势利导夸大其词的论证推断，三个列举层层递进互为因果，还是实现了列举的修辞效果的】

Admittedly, there are some programs trying to convey optimistic view to viewers, but their plots are so unrealistic that they cannot convince young people. 【让步段第一句话，先提出自己之前的论证没有正视的情况，再明确指出这种情况的致命缺点】And they tell stories in a too exaggerating way, making stories more unconvincing. 【补刀】For example【全文都没有举例论证，到这里实在摒不住了，呵呵】, once I saw a TV program on the daily life of a couple. In order to convey【用词准确】 the view that ‘if you do good things, you will always get want you want’, the program told a story that the young man picks up 10000 dollars three times a week just because he always helps his neighbors and the god is touched by him! What a ridiculous story! If I were a child, I would have no desire to do good things, as I didn’t believe I would pick up so much money no matter how many good things I did.【这个虚拟语气的使用信手拈来，适合各种假设状况的探讨】 So even if there are some programs with optimistic themes, I don’t think they will impact young people more than those with pessimistic themes. 【总结这个例子对于自己论点的意义，再次强化自己的立场】

　　托福写作模板:演艺明星的高薪

托福写作真题题目：

Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

托福写作范文：

Nowadays, the annual incomes of many sports stars and film stars come to millions of dollars. Some people claim that their salaries are too high. Yet, in my opinion, such salaries are well deserved. They work hard to become famous, provide entertainment for us, and win honors for their countries.

First, famous athletes and entertainers make painstaking efforts to achieve fame. Fame is a wonderful thing to have, but it seldom appears overnight. Famous people have worked hard for years to achieve their fame today and they have to continue their good work to maintain it. For their hard work, sports and entertaining stars deserve to be generously rewarded. Unfortunately, people tend to focus on the huge amounts of money made by them. They rarely appreciate the efforts that athletes and entertainers have to make in order to achieve the fame that they have today. For example, in order to win the first place in a 100-meter dash, an athlete has to cover hundreds of miles during training. Famous stars deserve their high salaries because they have worked hard.

Second, sports and entertaining stars provide us with good entertainment. On weekends, many of us attend a football match that includes Beckham, see a movie that stars Julia Roberts, or go to a concert that features Celine Dion. These people help us make good use of our free time by entertaining us. As a result, we feel inspired as well as relaxed. In other words, we feel energetic again after attending the events. We even feel that we have more to enjoy in life and have new aspirations. For such reasons, these people are worth their high salaries.

Third, athletes and entertainers win honors for their countries. For example, after four years’ hard work, many athletes win gold medals at the Olympics Games. They are able to make millions of dollars a year after the games. Such high salaries are justified, because these athletes have won honors for their countries in the most competitive arena and have made their people proud, something few people can even dream of. This is true for entertainers as well. Many actors and actresses receive high salaries after they have won Oscars or prizes at Cannes Films Festival. Those people also deserve high salaries, because they have made a name in films for their country and have made their country better known by people elsewhere in the world.

All in all, famous athletes and entertainers merit their high salaries, for their hard work, entertainment they provide, and their contribution to their country. If I had a chance, I would be a famous star who can make millions of dollars a year.