我的妹妹患了抑郁症,但她不想接受我的帮助
My younger sister has been very depressed about her boyfriend's poor treatment of her, which ended recently with his leaving her apartment where he'd lived for four years. She's 34 and has two kids, 13 and 11, from a previous relationship. Her boyfriend's 26.
我的妹妹因为男朋友对她不好而感到抑郁，最近，他离开了她的公寓（他已经在那儿住了4年了），事情告一段落。妹妹34岁，和前任生了两个孩子，一个13岁，一个11岁。她的男朋友26岁。He was a new immigrant here when they met through family. She was immediately taken with him, though he had nothing, and moved him in without rent or food money from him. But he was ambitious, went to school, got a job and got promoted. She's got an OK job, but she's always been needy and too giving in her relationships.
他们因为家人介绍而相识，他是一位新移民。她立马被他吸引，尽管他一无所有。她不收租金也没要食品钱，就让他住了进来。但他野心勃勃，上了学、找到了一份工作、升了职。妹妹的工作还不错，但她一直没钱，感情中又付出太多。She's the dependent type, like our mother who cried for years after our father left. I'm the opposite. Things deteriorated when her boyfriend bought an expensive car, smart clothes and started staying out late with "friends." She accused him of being with other women, but he always denied it.
她是那种黏人型的女生，像我们的母亲一样，父亲离开后，母亲哭了好多年。而我正相反。当她的男友买了一辆超贵的汽车、漂亮的衣服、开始与'朋友'在外面呆到很晚的时候，事态开始恶化了。她指责他和其她女人在一起，但他总是否认这一点。
Now he's gone and she's devastated, constantly crying and retelling her story. I want to help her, but she rejects my opinions. I tell her to accept that it's over, focus on her kids, get out with friends and even find a new job. I want to get her a therapist for her depression, but she acts as if I'm insulting her.
现在他走了，她悲痛欲绝，总是哭着诉说自己的故事。我想帮她，但却被她拒绝了。我让她接受他们已经结束的事实、专心抚养孩子、和朋友出去聚会、甚至可以找一份新工作。我想给她找个治疗师、治疗她的抑郁。但她却表现得好像我在侮辱她一样。How can I help her?
我怎样才能帮到她呢？Worried Sis
忧心忡忡的姐姐：Your advice is good, but she doesn't want it from you.
你的建议很棒，但她却不想你给她建议。She is who she is. Being a sister doesn't mean you're the one who can or should change her. What she wants from you is caring support.
她就是她。姐姐这个身份并不意味着你可以或者应该改变她。她想从你身上得到的，只是你的关心和支持。Yes, therapy could help her adjust to this loss, but she has to want it in order to benefit. However, depression can become chronic and that affects her kids' environment and her own mental health.
是的，治疗或许能帮助她适应损失，但前提是她得接受，这样才能从中受益。然而，抑郁可能发展为慢性疾病，这会影响孩子的成长环境、也会影响她自身的心理健康。
If it persists, suggest she see her doctor (accompany her, if she lets you) so she can manage her daily life. If she won't accept this from you, try to enlist her closest friend.
如果这种情况持续下去，你可以建议她看医生（如果她允许的话，可以陪着她一起去），这样她就能管理自己的日常生活。如果她不接受你的建议，那就试着找她最好的闺蜜。You know yourself best. If you fear that responding to him will take you down frustration while trying unsuccessfully to help this guy after years of his troubles, then you're not the right support person for him anyway.
你最了解你自己。如果你担心回应他会让你陷入沮丧，虽然多年的麻烦和尝试都没能成功帮到他，那你可能并不是那个最适合支持他的人。
