成功婚姻的秘诀

For many married couples, falling in love and saying "I do" was the easy part. Living happily ever after is the part that takes a whole lot of work.

对于许多的已婚夫妇来说，坠入爱河和说“我愿意”非常容易。但从此以后过上幸福美满的生活则需要付出大量努力。

My family history doesn't have the best track record when it comes to the vow "until death do us part." My parents divorced when I was 18, and on my Mom's side alone, not one single marriage has lasted (keep in mind, she's one of eight siblings). One might think this would make me a cynic when it comes to marriage - but for some unexplainable reason, that's not the case. Maybe I'm an idealist, but I think you can fall in love with your best friend, grow old together, and even live happily ever after.

在履行结婚誓言“直到死亡将我们分开”方面，我的家族并没有最好的记录。在我18岁的时候，我的父母离婚了，单单就我母亲这边，没有一段婚姻是长久的（记住哦，她可是有8个兄弟姐妹的）。可能你们会觉得我对待婚姻的态度应该是愤世嫉俗的，但我却觉得人们可以与好朋友相恋，一起慢慢变老，自此以后过上幸福美满的生活。

I sought out some honest advice from real people who might have insight as to what makes a marriage stand the distance. I reached out to all the married couples and divorcées I knew and asked them the burning question, "What's the secret to making a marriage successful?" Read their words of wisdom below:

在什么能使婚姻长久方面，我询问了对此颇有见解的朋友，他们给了我一些真诚的建议。我联系了我认识的所有已婚夫妇和离婚人士，问了他们一个重要的问题，“成功的婚姻有什么秘诀呢？”下面就是他们的智慧语录：

1. Share everything with each other. Most importantly, everything you are feeling. There is no way to be on common ground if you don't communicate how you're feeling.

1. 任何事情都一起分享。最为重要的是，要分享你的所有感受。如果不交流彼此的想法，那无论如何你们都不会找到共同点。

2. Whatever bad stuff happens, remember this, too, will pass.

2. 不管发生多么糟糕的事，都要记住这一点：一切都将成为过去。

3. Affection breeds more affection. Touch each other, kiss each other good morning, and have plenty of sex (even when you're old!). It's too easy to get out of the habit, which makes you feel distant. Intimacy and physical affection really help keep you connected.

3. 好感会带来更多的好感。触碰彼此、相互亲吻道声早上好，还有滚床单（即使当你们老了！）。改掉这个习惯太难了，如果戒掉，你们之间就会产生距离感。亲密无间和身体上的接触能让你们心灵相通。

4. Children can be stressful, but they, too, will grow up.

4. 孩子们可能承受着很大的压力，但他们总会长大的。

5. Let the little things go and think big picture. Since you're in it for the long haul, are you really going to care who did or didn't run the dishwasher when you look back in 10 years? Remind yourself that your relationship is much, much bigger than any one minor incident.

5. 不要纠结于小事，要思考大局。既然你想要婚姻长久，那么十年后当你回顾过去，你真的会纠结于谁开了洗碗机这个问题吗？谨记这一点：你们的爱情远比一些小事重要得多。

6. Fill the fridge with his favorites - it's easy to do, so just do it.

6. 冰箱里装满他爱吃的食物——做到这一点太容易了，行动起来吧。

7. Take time for yourself to do what you love, what makes you happy and gives you energy - being successful as a couple will only work if each of you is independent and fulfilled as an individual.

7. 抽时间做自己爱做的事、令自己高兴的事、能让自己充满活力的事——如果婚姻关系中，两个人都很独立、有理想，那么这样的婚姻才会成功。