高学历女性找老公时要遵守的十大古怪标准(下)

't Be Picky

3.不要吹毛求疵

Even as little as 100 years ago women did not have much choice about the men they would marry. These days' generation Y and millennial women are extremely picky. They want a man who is their intellectual equal, educated to a similar level, with the same earning capacity.

甚至100年前，女人并没有很多的机会选择自己的结婚对象。目前Y代（25岁以下的）女孩和千禧女孩都极度吹毛求疵。她们想要一个与之智力和教育水平相当、挣钱能力相等的男子。

However, in our current society this causes problems. As seen in point 4 above, the bidder who holds out because they believe they have a strong hand and can hold out for the very best are often outbid.

然而，这些吹毛求疵的行为在我们现代社会引发了问题。正如上述的四点，那些出价较高（标准比较高）的“投标人”坚持还没结婚是因为她们相信自己有强劲的双手，会坚持找到最好的男人。但是合乎条件的男子少之又少。

Research into why the pool of eligible, college educated men seems to shrink with age has shown that many of the most eligible married at a young age.

研究表明，受过大学教育的男子的上学年龄似乎在小龄化，所以大部分符合条件的男子在很年轻的时候结婚了。

Not always to the most desirable or attractive women but to those who actually decided to marry them.

他们结婚的对象不是那些有魅力、有吸引力的女人，而是那些真的下决心想嫁给他们的女人。

What this tells us is that you should not be so confident that you hold out too long. Is it really important that the man of your dreams is above a certain height? Does he have to have a set minimum qualification?

这就告诉我们不能自信满满地坚持太久。你想象中的男人水平高低与否，这真的很重要吗？他一定要有最低限制条件吗？

Only you can decide what your minimum standards are but if you are looking for perfection you may find yourself without anyone.

最低标准只能由自己制定，如果希望寻找完美伴侣，你会发现你只能找到你自己。

Outside Your Socio-Economic Class

2.与社会经济学课堂外的人约会

Despite some regional variation the national trend for gender imbalance in college educated millennials and generation 'y'ers means that some college educated women will never be able to marry a man with the same level of education that they have.

尽管存在一些地区性的差异，但是大学里，千禧代和Y时代男女不均的趋势意味着一些受过高等教育的女性可能不会嫁给与自己学历相当的人。

What can they do about it? Other than remaining single or dating other women the only option available to the 'surplus' is to date outside of their socio-economic book.

那她们怎么办呢？与其一直单身或者同其他女性约会，这些“剩斗士”的唯一选择就是放下社会经济学书，与其他人约会。

It stands to reason that if slightly more boy babies are born than girl babies then the boys have to go somewhere. If it is not college where is it? Men have many more job and even career opportunities such as roughnecking or joining the police, fire service or military after leaving high school than are on offer to their female peers.

既然男性的出生率微高与女性，显然这些男性肯定是去了某些地方。比起同龄女性，男性有更多的工作机会甚至职业生涯的选择。比如：变成粗人或是加入警队、消防队或在高中毕业之后参军。

It is striking that the gender imbalance amongst high earning non-college graduates is the exact opposite of that amongst college-graduates. There are more men and they are desperate to meet women.

令人吃惊的是，性别失衡情况在非大学毕业的高收入人群与大学毕业人群中正好相反。非大学毕业的高收入的男性非常渴望结识女性。

While college educated men will sometimes marry a non-college educated woman it has, historically, been extremely rare for women to 'marry down'.

然而，受过大学教育的男性通常会娶没有上过大学的女性。纵观历史，极少有女性会嫁给比自己学历低的男性。

This trend is changing, particularly in the African-American community where many more women have a college education than men and it is something that college-educated women who want to marry should think about very carefully.

这样的趋势正逐渐改变，尤其是在非洲裔美国人社区，这些地方拥有大学学历的女性比男性多得多。这些受过高等教育的女性在选择“下嫁”的时候就更应该考虑清楚了。

A 'mixed-collar' marriage has the potential to provide career oriented women with many benefits, not least a husband with more time to support them in their professional aspirations by taking on more of the share of housework and childcare duties.

一段混合阶层婚姻可能会为事业型女性带来更多的便利，至少她们的丈夫会花更多的时间去分担家务和照顾孩子以支持她们的职业抱负。

Ultimatums

1.使用最后通牒

As there is now no social stigma to living together before marriage there is no social pressure on men to settle down.

如今，婚前同居在社会上已经不是什么可耻的事情了，男性也没有需要安稳下来的社会压力。

They can have their cake and eat it, living with a woman who may or may not be their 'forever' partner while still remaining free enough to dump her and go off with a more marriageable prospect should she come along.

他们可以兼得鱼与熊掌，与一个不知能否与自己成为终身伴侣的女性同住，同时又可以自由地选择是否甩掉她，去与那个更有可能结婚的她远走天涯。

Anecdotally, most people will know of some women who spent years in a relationship, expecting it to lead to marriage and children, only to be dumped when they hit their mid or late 30s.

说来有趣，很多人都知道有那么一些女性，她们恋爱多年，本应为人妻母，可却在中年时期遭人抛弃。

If you find yourself in a relationship with a man who is just not willing to propose one who tells you he is not sure if he is yet ready, you have two options. You can ride it out and wait for a proposal that may never happen or you can issue an ultimatum.

如果你处于恋爱之中，但男方却迟迟不提出求婚，或者一直说他不确定自己是不是准备好与你结婚。那么你有两个选择，忽略这件事并等待那个可能永远不会发生的求婚，或者使出杀手锏。

Say that unless you get a proposal in the next (x) months you will be leaving the relationship. This may seem drastic but you owe it to yourself to be firm.

告诉他，如果不在接下来的几个月内提出求婚的话，那么你就要提出分手。这似乎太过极端，但是为了使自己受到公平对待，这么做值了。

If your partner refuses to accept the ultimatum it shows that he was never intending to marry you in the first place, you were, in effect, his placeholder.

如果你的男朋友拒绝接受最后通告，这也就表明他从未将你当做结婚的第一人选。事实上，你就是他的一个备胎而已。

The British have a descriptive name for such men – 'cocklodgers' – you can guess what cock is slang for!

英国人给这样的男性起了个贴切的名字——“公鸡房客”——你可以猜到公鸡是一个多么不堪的俚语！

If your partner truly does love you but has just not felt the urgency to propose your ultimatum will serve to issue a warning, 'get off your butt or you will be dumped' and have to start all over again.

如果你的伴侣真的爱你，但是对你的通牒并不紧张，这将是一个警告，“赶紧离开，不然你就要被甩啦”，到时一切又是从头再来。

You may love a man very much but if you want to have children be aware that IVF is still not guaranteed and is extremely costly. You may be fertile into your later years but the chances are against you.

可能你深爱着某人，但是如果想要生孩子的话，你得知道试管受精的成功率是不能保障的，并且费用也十分高昂。接下来的几年你可能会生育孩子，但情况可能对你不利。

If you want children you owe it to yourself to see whether your partner is the one to have them with or get out and find someone new.

如果你想要孩子，你有责任去看看你的伴侣是值得，还是你应该一脚踹掉再找个新的。

If you are an unmarried college educated woman and reading this article, don't feel too bad. There are just not enough college men out there out there.

如果你是一个受过大学教育的未婚女性，读到这篇文章时请不要觉得难过。因为真的只是没有足够的大学毕业男性为你选择。

This has a big impact not only on your chances of marrying but on the behavior men expect of you prior to marriage.

这不仅对你的结婚机会有很大影响，也会影响男性对你婚前行为的预期。

If you are a woman in your 20s and living in a gender imbalanced society then the chances are that the men your age are interested in 'hooking up' and not dating.

如果你是一名二十来岁女性，生活在性别不均衡的社会，那么在你这个年纪的男性有可能喜欢“鬼混”而非真正的约会。

This is not a problem, if that is what you want to do; sexual mores have changed and women are as entitled to enjoy hooking up as men, but do not feel pressured into doing something you would not otherwise want to do just to have a 'date'.

如果这是你想要的话，那没问题。性观念已经改变，女性也和男性一样喜欢鬼混，不过不要为了来场约会而有压力并去做一些你不想做的事情。

You should also be aware that while you are spending your 20s chasing and competing for men to hook up with for a short while, your time is running out.

你要警醒，当你的青春花费在为了一时乐子追求男人时，时光一去不复返。

When men of your age look to marry they will have a much larger pool to choose from than you do – you may be looking at men of a similar age to you, they will be looking at women in both their 20s and 30s.

当同龄男性准备结婚时，他们的选择范围会比你宽很多。你或许在找同龄的男性，可他们却能同时选择二十几岁和三十几岁的女性。

Think carefully about the type of man you want to spend time with. There are men out there who may not make the appearance grade (too short, too bald etc) but who are good, kind and would make an excellent husband.

认真想想你到底想要和什么样的人度过余生。有那么些男性，他们可能外表不是很好（太矮，秃头等等），但是他们优秀、心地善良并很可能是不错的丈夫人选。

Men without a college degree are desperate for wives (all the women in their socio-economic group have gone to college and are competing with you for a tiny pool of men).

没有上过大学的男性极度渴望娶妻（在他们所属社会经济圈中的女性都上过大学并正与你竞争一小波男性）。

Don't value yourself so highly that you never engage in the dating scene because you are waiting for your version of Mr Absolutely Right (he might turn out to be a total tool who strings you along with vague mutterings of marriage and then dumps you for a better model).

不要太自我感觉良好，也不要为了等到你心目中的那个真正的白马王子而一直不约会（他很可能最终会将你和满腹牢骚的婚姻连结起来，最后为了一个更好的对象而将你抛弃。）

Equally be aware of your value enough to tell a man what you expect (I will date you for 6 months but if we are not going to marry after that I have to call it off) rather than just wait around for him to make a decision that impacts your future.

同样的，请足够重视你自己的价值，告诉对方你的期待（比如我会和你约会6个月，但是如果之后我们没有结婚的想法的话，那我就会分手），而不是仅仅是等待对方来做决定，影响自己的未来。