因为爱情:此时此刻他就存在我的生命里

In November 2009, Brandy Trammell became a homeowner. As she moved into her new house in Laurel, it seemed as though her life was all set up: She had her own place, friends and family nearby, and a speech therapy career that was flourishing.

2009年11月，Brandy Trammell成为有房一族。她搬进了她在Laurel的新屋，仿佛她的生活都已经安顿好了：她有她自己的地方、朋友和附近的家人，以及一个蒸蒸日上的言语治疗事业。

But it seemed that the guy she always dreamed of sharing her life with was just that — a dream. With every man she dated, something was missing.

但似乎她一直梦想的和她一起分享生活的他，还只是一个梦想。每次和她约会的男人，总少了点什么。

“So I felt that he didn’t exist. This idea that you’re going to find somebody that doesn’t have that tragic flaw — I really felt that I was going to have to settle,” she says.

“所以我觉得那个他是不存在的。关于你会找到一个没有那些悲催缺点的人的想法- 我真觉得我将不得不解决，”她说。

The day after Thanksgiving, Trammell sat in her bedroom — the only furnished room in the house — and logged on to eHarmony. She’d had a membership for months but hadn’t logged on since she’d signed up.

感恩节之后的一天，Trammell坐在卧室里，屋里里唯一装修过的房间，登录到eHarmony。她成为会员几个月了，但自从她注册之后从未登录过。

Bored, she scrolled through the profiles of men who’d reached out to her and responded to a few. Almost instantly, Vincent Russell wrote back.

无聊透顶，她浏览着那些向她发出邀请的男人的简介，并对几个作出了回应。几乎是瞬间，Vincent Russell回复了。

Russell was visiting family in Norfolk and got Trammell’s message on his smartphone. His friends often joked that he’d been an old man for a long time. He started working full time at 18, putting himself through a computer information degree at American University. He hated dating, and it sometimes seemed as if he’d gone out with “every horrible woman in Washington,” trying to find the right one. He wanted a partner who was ready to settle down, have a family and stay in on Saturday nights.

Russell在诺福克探亲，并在他的智能手机上获得了Trammell的消息。他朋友经常开玩笑说他成为一个老男人很长一段时间了。他18岁开始全职工作，历经磨练获得美国大学计算机信息的学位。他讨厌约会，有时好像他已经和“华盛顿每一个可怕的女人”约会过，试图找到那个对的人。他希望一个愿意安定下来的伴侣，有一个家庭，并在周六晚上待在家里。

After trading messages, Russell called Trammell. They spoke for hours. He called again the next day, and the two made plans for the next Thursday.

交换信息后，Russell给 Trammell打了电话。他们谈了几个小时。他第二天再次打了电话，两人为下周四做了计划。

She was uncharacteristically late for their date in Silver Spring, and he nearly left. When she arrived, she was immediately turned off: He was in work clothes and didn’t have any of the facial hair he’d had in online photos.

对他们在Silver Spring的约会她一反常态晚迟到了，他差一点就离开了。当她到达时，她立即失去兴趣：他穿着工作服，没有网上照片中的任何一点胡须。

Over dinner she gave him a hard time, challenging him on various points to see whether he would stand up for what he believed in. “Because I had dated guys who were complete pushovers,” she explains. “And I didn’t want someone who’s always like, ‘Oh yeah, you’re right.’ ”

吃饭时，她没有给他好脸色，在不同方面挑衅他，看他是否会为他的信仰站起来。“因为和我约会过的家伙都是泛泛之辈，”她说。“我不想要一个人总是，‘哦，对，你说得对。’”

At a pool hall after dinner, she off-handedly said they should dance when the song “I Call Your Name” by Switch came on. She was shocked, and a little giddy, when he called her bluff and took her hand to dance.

晚饭后在台球厅，当切换到歌曲《我轻唤你的名字》时她立即说他们应该跳舞。当他说她虚张声势并拉着她的手跳舞时，她惊呆了且有点晕眩。

A week later, he showed up at the movies in casual clothes and with facial hair grown in. Trammell warmed up quickly and tried to show him as much, putting her hand on his leg in the theater. But when it came time to say goodbye, he walked away awkwardly. “Vincent!” she yelled. He came back, asked for a do-over and kissed her.

一个星期后，他穿着休闲服脸上长着胡须地出现在影院，Trammell迅速升温，并试图尽可能多地向他暗示，在剧院时她把她的手放在他腿上。但是，当要说再见的时候，他笨拙地走开了。“文森特！”她大叫。他返回来，要求一个过分的举动，于是吻了她。

And from then on, she says, “he just really made himself present in my life.” He called every time he said he’d call, and always showed up when he said he would. “I knew from the beginning he was not playing around,” she says. “He was planning on getting to know me and making this happen.”

从那时起，她说，“他真的就那样让自己出现在我的生命中。”他说他会打电话来那他每次就会打电话来，当他说会出现时总是会出现。 “从一开始我就知道他不是随便玩玩，”她说。 “他打算去了解我，让一切发生。”

After two weeks, he asked whether he could be her boyfriend. “Already?” she responded. But when he asked again on Christmas, she said yes.

两个星期后，他问他是否可以成为她的男友。 “现在就？”她回答。不过，在圣诞节时他又问了一遍，她同意。

“I felt like she could potentially be the one I was looking for,” Russell, 30, explains. “And I wasn’t seeing anyone else, so I was like, ‘Might as well make it official!’ ”

“我感觉她可能就是我一直在寻找的那个人，”30岁的Russell说。“我没有在和其他任何人约会，所以我想，'不如让它正式吧！’”

But the next couple of months were not as smooth as they’d hoped. She is verbose, and he’s succinct. And while she often tries to swallow issues that are bothering her, he prefers to be direct. As they had their first few fights, neither felt sure the relationship would last. But by March, they’d figured out how to communicate and could sense each other’s dedication.

但接下来的几个月并不像他们所希望的那样顺利。她是啰嗦的而他很简洁。虽然她经常试图咽下困扰她的问题，但他更希望直接一点。由于他们前几次争吵，他们一个也并不确定这段恋情是否会持久。但到了3月，他们解决了如何沟通的问题，并能感受到对方的奉献。

“He’s a committed guy. He was completely in, and I respected and appreciated that,” Trammell, 31, says. “I hadn’t felt that from someone that I felt the same way about.”

“他是一个重承诺的家伙。他完全投入，我对此尊重和理解，”31岁的Trammell说。 “我以前没有从一个人那里感受到我同样感受到的那些。”

In October, he invited her to join him on a vacation in Chile. Normally a planner, Trammell was persuaded to let him take the lead. “That was the first time I had to let go and really trust in him,” she says. “I’m very used to co-piloting, so that really solidified our relationship.”

10月，他邀请她和他一起去智利度假。通常情况下，规划师Trammell要被说服让他带头。“这是第一次我不得不放手，真正信任他，”她说。 “我非常习惯共同主导，所以那真正巩固了我们的关系。”

In January 2011, they popped into a jewelry store to try on rings. Trammell thought an engagement was imminent. As months ticked by without a proposal, she tried to push it from her mind. That July, they went to Hawaii to visit friends. At the top of a mountain overlooking Waikiki, he got down on one knee and asked her to be his wife.

2011年1月，他们突然出现在一家珠宝店尝试戒指。Trammell认为订婚迫在眉睫。几个月过去了也没有求婚，她试图把它从脑海中抹去。同年7月他们去夏威夷看望朋友。在山顶俯瞰威基基，他单膝跪地，请她做他的妻子。

On Sept. 30, they exchanged vows in the courtyard of 2941 Restaurant in Falls Church. The couple once again danced to “I Call Your Name,” and their 100 guests celebrated by singing karaoke.

9月30日，他们在瀑布教堂2941餐厅的院子里交换了誓言。这段恋人再次随着歌曲《我轻唤你的名字》起舞，他们的100位客人唱着卡拉OK庆祝。

“I had braced myself for a future with someone I could tolerate,” Trammell told Russell during the ceremony. “Oh, you were a welcome surprise! The man for me exists and stands right before me. I need not tolerate you. In fact, I feel incomplete without you.”

“我已经和一个我能忍受的人一起拥抱未来，” Trammell在仪式上对Russell说。 “哦，你是一个惊喜！属于我的那个人存在着并站在我面前。我不仅需要容忍你。事实上，没有你我觉得不完整。”