当爱人的坏习惯让你抓狂,试试这6个办法

-- set realistic expectations. Acknowledge that there are just some things that you will not like about your partner all the time.
-- 制定现实的期望。承认总有时候伴侣的有些事情让你不会那么满意。

-- Focus on the positive. Dr. Orbuch suggests making a list of 10 characteristics you actually adore -- or at least tolerate -- in your spouse. 'When you turn your concentration to what is going well, it motivates you to keep going in that direction,' she says.
-- 关注积极的一面。奥巴克博士建议制定一个清单，写出你喜欢伴侣的10个特点，或者至少是你可以容忍的特点。她说，当你把注意力放在积极的事情上的时候，你就会有动力使事情朝着积极的方向发展。

-- Discuss the behavior, not your spouse's personality. This allows your partner to change. And be careful to use the word 'I' and not 'you.' (It is helpful to say: 'I get upset when you leave your underwear on the bathroom floor.' It's not beneficial to say, 'You are a slob,' even if it's true.)
-- 讨论行为，而不是伴侣的个性。这会让你的伴侣有所改变、此外，小心使用“我”而不是“你”这个字眼。（如果你说，“你总是把内裤放在洗手间地板上让我感到心烦”，就会很有帮助。反之，如果你说，“你真是邋遢得不行”，即便这是事实，也于事无补。

-- Find the right time and place to discuss an annoying habit. Right after work or as your spouse is drifting off to sleep is not it. You might want to send your partner an email during the day asking to discuss a certain behavior later.
-- 找一个合适的时间和地点讨论令人心烦的习惯。伴侣刚刚下班或者正要入睡都不是合适的时间。你可以在白天给伴侣发一封电子邮件，要求晚些时候讨论一下某个行为。

-- Be prepared to compromise. Didn't your mother ever teach you that you can be right or you can be happy? Choose happy.
-- 准备做出让步。你妈妈没有告诉过你，你可以选择真理，也可以选择快乐吗？选择快乐吧。

-- If all else fails, go to bed mad. When you are tired you become irrational. You'll probably have more perspective in the morning.
-- 如果上述办法都无法达到效果，那就干脆睡觉去吧。当你疲倦的时候，你会变得没有理智。到了早晨，你或许会更有真知灼见。