十位农民出身的统治者(2)

dora – Byzantium

7.狄奥多拉——拜占庭

Born in 500 AD, Theodora was the daughter of a bear trainer and grew up in the hippodrome, where her actress mother started to teach her the tricks of the trade. By 15 she had become a child star in the arts of comedy, mime, and, well, prostitution. Her exploits were legendary, rough housing, flashing, and performing acts with geese we'd rather not imagine. Supposedly, she'd frequently take on 10 men at a time, and when they tired, she'd take on all of their servants. She had a lot of stamina, is what we're trying to say.

狄奥多拉生于公元500年，她是一位训熊师的女儿，在马戏团中长大。她的母亲是位演员，也是在这里开始传授她演技的诀窍。15岁时她已经是一个童星了，从事着喜剧、哑剧以及，卖淫工作。她的事迹是个传奇，在简陋的房屋中，她闪耀着光芒，与鹅共舞的场面，我们最好还是不要去想象。据说，她常常同时接十个客人，当嫖客累了，她又去接待他们的仆役。我们想说的是，她的精力十分旺盛。

After finding religion at 18, the emperor Justinian I was struck with her beauty, so much so that he changed the law just so that he could marry her. She began taking on several of the emperor's duties, including passing laws and consulting with foreign rulers. She also tried to end the sex slave trade and issued anti-rape legislation, becoming one of the earliest champions of women's rights.

狄奥多拉18岁找到信仰之后，东罗马帝国的皇帝查士丁尼一世(Justinian I )被她的美貌迷住了，为了能够娶她为妻，查士丁尼一世甚至修改了法律。此后，狄奥多拉开始着手处理一些皇帝的事务，包括通过法律、会见外国首领等等。她还尝试终止性奴隶贸易，颁布了反强奸法案，成为女权运动最早的拥护者之一。

minus Thrax – Rome

6.马克西米努斯·色雷克斯——罗马

Maximinus Thorax was was a shepherd and reportedly a giant, said to have been more than eight feet tall. Being thought a giant with superhuman strength, it was no surprise when he began working his way up through the Roman military. In 235 AD, when in command of a force of recruits in Germany, the soldiers decided they would prefer Maximinus to be their ruler, killing Alexander and putting the giant into a position of ultimate power.

据说，马克西米努斯·色雷克斯是个高大的牧羊人，身高超过八英尺（约2.44米）。人们认为他身材魁梧，力能扛鼎，因此他自然能在罗马军队中平步青云。公元235年，马克西米努斯在德国负责统帅新兵团。士兵们极力拥护他称帝，并杀了当时的罗马帝国皇帝亚历山大·塞维鲁(Alexander)，从而把这位巨人推向权力的巅峰。

With war being all he knew, he extorted and confiscated lands from the property owning class, finally heading to Italy to suppress his challengers to the throne. He never made it to Rome though, as his troops killed him in 238 AD after apparently realizing size isn't everything, and he was a pretty terrible leader. He carries the distinction of being a Roman emperor who never actually visited Rome. Well, except for his severed head, which his mutinous soldiers brought to the city after removing it from his neck.

只会打仗的马克西米努斯不断侵占或没收所有者阶级的领土，还率军向意大利挺进，意图减少意大利对他皇位的威胁。但公元238年，在尚未抵达罗马之前,马克西米努斯就被部下们杀害了，因为他们意识到光有魁梧的身材是远远不够的，而且他是一位非常糟糕的领袖。马克西米努斯成为了一位独特的罗马皇帝，因为他从来没有去过罗马。当然了，他那被部下砍下的头颅，还是被带进过罗马城的。

Bang – China

5.刘邦——中国

Born in 256 BC to a peasant family, Liu was a troublemaker and a truant as a child. It was only when he saw the emperor riding in a magnificent carriage that he thought he wanted the high life for himself and began to work toward achieving his goals of wealth and power. After spending time working his way up the administration ladder, he saw an easier path to become emperor and became a rebel leader.

刘邦于公元前256年出生在一个农民家庭。儿时的刘邦调皮捣蛋，十分懒散。直到某日，他看到乘坐气派马车的秦始皇，从而燃起了对荣华富贵的渴望，并开始了求富逐权之路。在他努力攀爬权利阶梯之时，却发现想要成为君主有一条捷径可走，于是率兵揭竿起义。

It took Liu just two years to beat his arch rival Xiang Yu in capturing the capital, but was forced to spend the next four years keeping his rival at bay. Once he had finally beaten his enemy's larger rebel army, he became known as Emperor Gaozu of Han, and began the Han dynasty that lasted for 400 years. He never did lose his childish ways, though, once urinating into a scholar's hat to show his disdain for education.

刘邦领兵征战两年，最后先于劲敌项羽占领秦都咸阳城，但他在接下来的四年里却一直受到项羽的牵制。最终，汉军大败楚军，刘邦登基，成为了众所周知的汉高祖，存世400年的汉朝也由此登上历史舞台。虽然刘邦已成为一国之君，但他依旧保持儿时的顽皮——他曾为了表示对教育的不屑，朝夫子的帽子里撒尿呢！

tomi Hideyoshi – Japan

4.丰臣秀吉——日本

A peasant born in 16th century Japan, Toyotomi was fatherless at the age of seven, a peasant, and pretty famously ugly. So in other words, he got a pretty crappy start in life. With nothing else going for him, he went looking for adventure and joined the Oda clan, where he proved himself brilliant in battle and rose through the ranks. He earned the trust of a man named Oda Nobunaga (commonly referred to as the Demon King), who gave Toyotomi control of his own troops to lay siege to castles, capture cities, and force generals into committing suicide. As luck would have it, those were some of Toyotomi's favorite hobbies.

丰臣秀吉出生在16世纪的日本,他七岁丧父，生来就是农民，又长得极其丑陋，所以换句话说，他早年过的很差劲。一无所有的他决定出去闯荡还投靠了织田家。在战场上他的才智得以发挥，并通过战绩得到提拔。丰臣深得织田信长（人们所熟知的第六天魔王）的信任，并被派去带领其军队攻城略池，以及逼迫将领自尽。而碰巧这些都是丰臣秀吉喜欢做的事情。

When Oda Nobunaga was killed, Hideyoshi brought his killer's head to his grave as vengeance, because flowers just won't do. He continued taking over Japan, eventually ending the warring states period that had lasted 150 years. As the new regent of Japan he launched two invasions of Korea, put an end to social mobility since he didn't think a peasant should be a ruler. Presumably because there wasn't a Japanese word for "irony."

织田信长被杀之后，丰臣秀吉取了杀手的首级，并放到他的墓前祭奠他，这件祭品的复仇意义是鲜花所不能替代的。此后，丰臣秀吉逐步控制日本，最终结束已经持续了150年的战国时代。作为日本新的统治者，丰臣秀吉两次征讨朝鲜，并设法禁止社会阶层的流动性，因为他认为农民无法成为统治者。大概日语中并没有"讽刺"这个词。

审稿:张茜 编辑:Freya然 校对:CMX