笑破肚皮的英语笑话大全
近年来,冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象在网络、杂志上十分盛行。若要推论现行冷笑话的来源,或已无从考证。下面是本站小编带来的笑破肚皮的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
The Burned Ears
A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.
一个男人的两只耳朵都被烫伤了...在医院的时候别人就问他是如何烫到的。
He said, "I was ironing my clothing and the phone instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear..."
他说：“我正在熨衣服的时候，电话响了...当时我把熨斗当成电话抓起来接听了。”
"But how the heck did you burn the other ear?" The doctor asked.
医生说：“但是你是如何烫到另一只耳朵的呢?”
"How do you think I called you people?"
“因为我想给你打电话呀!”
笑破肚皮的英语笑话篇二Make Money 挣钱
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
一位年轻人请教一位十分有钱的老人如何变得如此富有。
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
老人抚摸着身上的精纺羊毛衫说：“孩子啊，1932年，全国经济大萧条，当时我身上只有一个五分镍币。”
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
“我用这仅有的五分钱投资买了一个苹果，然后用了一整天的时间来擦它，到了晚上的时候，我把这只苹果卖掉了，卖了10分钱。”
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.
“第二天早上，我用这十分钱买了两个苹果，用了一整天的时间擦他们。大约下午5点左右，我把他们卖了，卖了20分钱。就这样过了一个月，月末的时候，我居然一共挣了一块三毛七。”
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
“这时，我的岳父去世了，留给了我们两百万。”
笑破肚皮的英语笑话篇三Does dog know the proverb?
Does dog know the proverb? 狗也知道这个谚语吗?
A little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。 "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你不知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”
笑破肚皮的英语笑话篇四Disappearing Act
When a woman reported her husband missing, the officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him. "Yes," she replied readily. "Tell him my mother isn't visiting after all."
一个女人向警察报案，说丈夫失踪了。警察看过丈夫的照片，问女人如果他们能找到她丈夫，她有没有什么要和丈夫说的。女人很乐意地说：“是的，告诉他我妈妈不来了。”
笑破肚皮的英语笑话篇五The amazing golf ball 神奇的高尔夫球
A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"
一个高尔夫球手正要发球，跑上来一个无限谄媚的小个子推销员，喊到：“ 等一下。在您发球前，我请您看一样超神奇的东西。”
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"
高尔夫球手颇感被打搅，说道：“什么东西啊?”
"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"
“是一个很特别的高尔夫球 - 一个永远不会被弄丢的球!”
"you can never lose it"，scoffs the golfer, "What if you hit it into the water?
“永远不会丢的球”，高尔夫球手嘲讽地说，“如果球被打到水里呢?”
"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."
“没问题。它能漂起来，还能探测到哪里是岸，然后自己就能转到岸边。”
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"
“那么如果掉到树丛里呢?”
"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."
“简单。它能发出嘟嘟声，这样你就能循声而至了。”
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"
“那如果天黑了怎么找它呢?”
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"
“球会在黑暗中发光啊!一句话，你永远不会找不到这个球。”
The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"
高尔夫球手当即买下这个球，随口问了一句：“你从哪搞到它的?”
"I found it."
“是我捡到的啦!”
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