2016最新英语冷笑话大全
在人们的日常生活及交往当中，笑话无处不在。它作为一个普遍现象，受到了不同领域学者的关注，研究涉及心理学、哲学、修辞学、社会学等众多学科。下面是本站小编带来的2016最新英语冷笑话，欢迎阅读!
Adam's suit
Johnny was looking at an old family Bible when something fell out.
约尼正在看一本家族圣经，突然有什么东西从书中掉了出来。
He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a leaf that had been pressed in the pages. 他捡起来仔细地看，原来是一片加在书页中的树叶。
His mom came along and asked, "What do you have there Johnny?"
这时，他的妈妈走过来问：“你拿的是什么?约尼?”
Johnny replied, "I think it's Adam's suit."
约尼回答说：“我想，这应该是亚当的衣服。”
2016最新英语冷笑话篇二Excuse for speeding
A cop pulled a car over on the highway for speeding.
警察在高速上拦下一辆超速的车。
When he asked for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car and the car in back of me."
当他要驾驶员的驾照时，驾驶员辩称，“超速，但是警官，我刚才只是想和我后边的车保持安全距离。”
2016最新英语冷笑话篇三Little Voice
A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stompedher foot and went back inside. The man thought ''how weird.''
一个男人正在除草，听见他的邻居正好走出家门。这个邻居恰好是个金发碧眼美女。她打开邮箱，往里面看了看，然后又关上了它。她踱踱脚，转身回去。这个人觉得好奇怪啊!
A few minutes passed and sure enough, the blonde came out of her house again, checked her mail box, stamped her foot and went back inside. The man stopped mowing and checked her mailbox to see what was so wrong with it. After seeing nothing, he went back to mowing just shrugging his shoulders.
几分钟过去了，金发美女又走出了房门，检查邮箱，跺跺脚又回去。这个人停止除草，去检查她的邮箱是否出了问题。没有发现什么，他耸了耸肩继续除草。
As soon as he heard her coming out again, he shut off his mowing machine and went up to her. ''What in the world are you doing, coming out here every five minutes?''
当他再次听见她出来的时候，他关掉除草机走到她的面前。“你每五分钟出来一次，到底在做什么呀?”
The blonde looked up at the man and said, ''Well, you see, there's this little voice in my house that keeps on saying, 'You've got mail,' but when I come out here to check, I don't have any.''
金发美女抬头看看这个人说道：“你看，我听到我房间这个微弱的声音一直在说，‘你有信件来了，’可是当我出来看的时候却发现什么都没有。”
2016最新英语冷笑话篇四How Much for a Season Pass? 宿舍季度通行证
A new dorm rule was announced.
新宿舍规范出台了。
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students.
“女生宿舍将全面谢绝男生的光顾，男生宿舍也同样不得进入女生。”
"Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
"不论是谁，一旦违规，初犯将被罚款20美元。”
"Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60."
"第二次违规者要被罚款60美元。"
"Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
第三次被抓住需要交180美元的罚款。还有什么疑问没有?”
"At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Er... How much for a season pass?"
"这时人群中一个男同学问讯道，“那么一个季度通行证需要多少钱?”
Notes: 注释
Out of bounds: 禁止入内的
To Incur: to cause 招致什么样的后果
Hefty: heavy; considerable size or amount, 重型, 很巨大的一笔钱财
2016最新英语冷笑话篇五Bus load of politicians 一车政客
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer after seeing whathappened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a load of holes and buried all the politicians.
一辆满载政客的大汽车在乡间路上行驶，突然偏离大陆，撞到一棵树上。这棵树正长在一位老年农民的地里。农民看见发生事故就跑去看看情况。最后农民挖了一个大坑，把所有的政客都埋了。
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
几天后，当地县治安官来到这里，看见被撞坏的汽车，问这位老农民：“‘所有人’都死了?” 老农民回答说：“呃...有些人说他们还活着，但是你知道政客们就喜欢撒谎。”
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