英语爆笑笑话带翻译摘抄
笑话是幽默的一种表现形式,通过阐述语用因素对英语笑话言语的作用机制,可以探索英语幽默话语的语用特征和动态运行模式。下面小编整理了英语爆笑笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
沉默誓言 (中英)
A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.
一个中产阶级男子决心远离红尘，去当修道士。每个出家的人都必须要立个沉默誓言，那就是每五年只允许说两个字，作为对这一段时间所经历事情的总结。
After the first 5 years，the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”
第一个五年过去了，当修道士让他用两个字总结这五年的经历时，那人说道“破床”。
When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”
又过了五年，当修道士再次问道他的时候，他回答“猪食”。
After 5 more years，he walked up to the monk and said，"I QUIT!”
第三个五年过后他对修道士说“放弃”。
The monk nodded and muttered，“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”
道十点了点头喃喃地说道:“果不出我所料，这十五年来除了抱怨以外你什么也没有做。”
英语爆笑笑话带翻译鉴赏场景 (中英)
Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well，he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head.
你有没有听说过有一个人，当他回到家后发现自己的妻子正和另一个男人在鬼混，他立刻拔出手枪喊到:“我受够了!看来今天是要做一个了结了!”说完他将枪口对准自己的头。
The unfaithful wife shouts, "Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, "Shut up, bitch，because you're next!”
这时那个荡妇喊到:“不，不要这样，你可不能自杀呀!”那人听了愤怒地吼道:“闭嘴，泼妇，下一个死的就是你!”
英语爆笑笑话带翻译赏析疼痛之极 (中英)
A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."
一个伤痕累累的建筑工人冲进了一家医院，医生马上让护士去拿止痛药，“不必麻烦您了，医生。”那人说道，“比这更痛的伤我都经历过了。”
"More painful than this?" the doctor asked.
“比现在的伤还要痛吗?”医生问。
"I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM，the thing snapped shut on my balls."
“我先说说让我感到还不是最痛苦的那件事吧，一天我在打猎的时候突然想要大便，于是就脱掉裤子蹲在地上，不料被捕熊的夹子绊倒了，那东西夹住了我的皋丸。”
The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"
医生听后颤抖了一下，说道“太可怕了，那告诉我什么又是最痛苦的事呢?”
"When I reached the end of the chain."
“当我摸到锁链尽端的时候。”
英语爆笑笑话带翻译欣赏与上帝为伍 (中英)
A farmer purchases an old，run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds，the farmhouse is falling apart，and the fences are collapsing all around.
一个农民买了一块破旧荒废的农场，他准备把这块农场变成兴旺的园林。然而目前这块地是杂草丛生，房屋破旧不堪，四周的篱笆也是东倒西歪。
During his first day of work，the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work，saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”
在他第一天工作的时候，城里的一个传教士给他送去了祝福:“愿上帝与你一起实现你的梦想吧!”
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. I}ok and behold，it’s like a completely different place-the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition，there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens，and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.
几个月以后，那个传教士又一次来到农场，快看那，这里与上次相比简直是天壤之别。房屋重新修好了，条件也比以前好多了，成群的牛羊在欢快地吃着青草，地里的庄稼也整整齐齐的排列着。
"Amazing!” the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"
“太神奇了”，传教士惊呼道:“看那，上帝和你一起实现了你的梦想!”
"Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"
“没错，教士，”那个农民说道:“可你也要记住当初这个农场只由上帝一人支配的时候是个什么样子!”
