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关于超简单的英语笑话

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冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。小编精心收集了关于超简单的英语笑话,供大家欣赏学习!

关于超简单的英语笑话
  关于超简单的英语笑话:摩西和耶稣

A burglar(窃贼) breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it. Once again he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you".

He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks "Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says "What kind of PErson names his bird moses?" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".

一个窃贼潜入一户人家。他看到一个喜欢的CD机,他赶紧拿了。就在这个时候他听到有人说:“耶稣正在看着你。”他照着手电看来看去,嘀咕着:“到底是什么人在说话?”这时,他看到桌子上有些钱,他又拿了。那声音又来了:“耶稣正在看着你。”

他躲到一个角落,想找出是谁在说话。结果看到一只鹦鹉,于是他问鹦鹉:“是你在说话吗?”鹦鹉承认了。 小贼说:“你叫什么名字?”“摩西”。小贼说:“什么人给鸟取这种名字?”鹦鹉回答:“就是那个给他的罗威那犬取名为‘耶稣’的那个人啊。”

  关于超简单的英语笑话:I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied, "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

  关于超简单的英语笑话:Liver and Cheese

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.

"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says....

Liver alone. Cheese mine.

  关于超简单的英语笑话:A Duck Walks into a Bar

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?

  关于超简单的英语笑话:Golfer 高尔夫球手

Once there was a golfer whose ball landed on an anthill(蚁冢).

Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything moved but the golf ball. It sat on the same spot.

So he tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.

Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other. "Whoa! What are we going to do?"

Said the other ant, "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."

从前有个高尔夫球手,他把球打到了一座蚁丘上。

他没有移动球的位置,而是决定就地击球。于是他使劲一挥球杆,尘土和着蚂蚁,四处飞扬。所有的东西都动了,除了那只球,它呆在原地,一动没动。

于是,他准备再次出击。又是一阵尘土飞扬,蚂蚁们也再次跟着遭殃。而高尔夫球还是纹丝不动。

两只蚂蚁幸免于难,一只晕晕乎乎地对另一只说:“哇,我们怎么办啊?”

另一只蚂蚁说:“我不知道你怎么想,但是我准备爬到那只球上去。”


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