古德伯格 硅谷CEO兼男性女权主义者

Even as a high school student, Dave Goldberg was urging female classmates to speak up. As a young dot-com executive, he had one girlfriend after another, but fell hard for a driven friend named Sheryl Sandberg, pining after her for years. After they wed, Mr. Goldberg pushed her to negotiate hard for high compensation and arranged his schedule so that he could be home with their children when she was traveling for work.

还是高中生的时候，戴夫·古德伯格(Dave Goldberg)就会鼓励同班女生勇于表达自己的意见。作为网络公司的年轻主管，他曾一个接一个地换女朋友；直到深深爱上了意气风发的朋友谢莉尔‧桑德伯格(Sheryl Sandberg)，他开始年复一年执着地追求她。两人结婚后，古德伯格鼓励妻子去努力争取高薪，自己则调整工作安排，以便能在妻子出差时回家照顾孩子们。

Mr. Goldberg, who died unexpectedly on Friday, was a genial, 47-year-old Silicon Valley entrepreneur who built his latest company, SurveyMonkey, from a modest enterprise to one recently valued by investors at $2 billion. But he was also perhaps the signature male feminist of his era: the first major chief executive in memory to spur his wife to become as successful in business as he was, and an essential figure in “Lean In,” Ms. Sandberg’s blockbuster guide to female achievement.

古德伯格于上周五突然辞世，享年47岁。他是一名待人友善的硅谷创业家，他生前创办的最后一家公司SurveyMonkey原本是个从不起眼的小企业，在他的经营之下，最近投资人给出的估值已经达到20亿美元。然而他恐怕还是这个时代的男性女权主义者代表：在人们印象中，他是第一个支持妻子去争取跟他一样的商业成功的知名企业高管，在桑德伯格阐述女性如何取得成就的畅销作《向前一步》(Lean In)中，他是关键人物。

Over the weekend, even strangers were shocked at his death, both because of his relatively young age and because they knew of him as the living, breathing, car-pooling center of a new philosophy of two-career marriage.

离世消息传出后的这个周末，连素不相识的人也表示难以置信。不仅仅是因为他英年早逝，也因为人们视他为鲜活的典范，演绎着夫妻双方都可以拥有成功事业这一新理念。

“They were very much the role models for what this next generation wants to grapple with,” said Debora L. Spar, the president of Barnard College. In a 2011 commencement speech there, Ms. Sandberg told the graduates that whom they married would be their most important career decision.

“对于希望克服这一困难的新一代年轻人来说，他们无疑是一个表率，”巴纳德学院(Barnard College)院长黛博拉·L·斯巴(Debora L. Spar)说。2011年，桑德伯格告诉这里的毕业生，择偶将是她们人生中最重要的一项职业决策。

In the play “The Heidi Chronicles,” revived on Broadway this spring, a male character who is the founder of a media company says that “I don’t want to come home to an A-plus,” explaining that his ambitions require him to marry an unthreatening helpmeet. Mr. Goldberg grew up to hold the opposite view, starting with his upbringing in progressive Minneapolis circles where “there was woman power in every aspect of our lives,” Jeffrey Dachis, a childhood friend, said in an interview.

在今年春天被重新搬上百老汇舞台的《海蒂编年史》(The Heidi Chronicles)中，一个身为媒体公司创始人的男性人物说：“我可不要回家还要对着一个优等生，”他解释说若要成一番大事业，结婚对象需要是无法对自己构成威胁的伴侣。古德伯格从小就不赞同这种观点。他在明尼阿波利斯的开明氛围里长大，“女性的力量在生活中随处可见，”儿时的玩伴杰弗里·达切斯(Jeffrey Dachis)曾在采访中说。

The Goldberg parents read “The Feminine Mystique” together — in fact, Mr. Goldberg’s father introduced it to his wife, according to Ms. Sandberg’s book. In 1976, Paula Goldberg helped found a nonprofit to aid children with disabilities. Her husband, Mel, a law professor who taught at night, made the family breakfast at home.

古德伯格的父母一起读过《女性的奥秘》(The Feminine Mystique)——事实上，是古德伯格的父亲介绍读这本书的，桑德伯格在书中说。1976年，波拉·古德伯格(Paula Goldberg)协助成立了一个救助残疾儿童的非盈利组织。身为法学教授的丈夫麦尔(Mel)夜里去学校教课，早上给一家人做早餐。

Later, when Dave Goldberg was in high school and his prom date, Jill Chessen, stayed silent in a politics class, he chastised her afterward. He said, “You need to speak up,” Ms. Chessen recalled in an interview. “They need to hear your voice.”

后来在高中时，古德伯格的舞会舞伴吉尔·切森(Jill Chessen)在政治课上总是很安静，课后古德伯格责怪她：“你要勇于表达自己的意见”，切森在一次采访中回忆道。“要让别人听到你的想法。”

Years later, when Karin Gilford, an early employee at Launch, Mr. Goldberg’s digital music company, became a mother, he knew exactly what to do. He kept giving her challenging assignments, she recalled, but also let her work from home one day a week. After Yahoo acquired Launch, Mr. Goldberg became known for distributing roses to all the women in the office on Valentine’s Day.

几年之后，古德伯格的数字音乐公司Launch的早期职员卡琳·吉尔福特(Karin Gilford)当上母亲时，古德伯格完全知道该怎么做。卡琳回忆道，古德伯格一直给她派发具有挑战性的任务，但是会让她每周在家工作一天。在雅虎(Yahoo)收购了Launch之后，古德伯格在情人节向办公室所有女性送玫瑰花的事迹被传为佳话。

Ms. Sandberg, who often describes herself as bossy-in-a-good-way, enchanted him when they became friendly in the mid-1990s. He “was smitten with her, even when she was engaged and married to someone else,” Ms. Chessen remembered. After Ms. Sandberg’s marriage ended, she dated other people, but Mr. Goldberg still hung around, even helping her and her then-boyfriend move, recalled Bob Roback, a friend and co-founder of Launch. When they finally married in 2004, friends remember thinking how similar the two were, and that the qualities that might have made Ms. Sandberg intimidating to some men drew Mr. Goldberg to her even more.

桑德伯格经常形容自己行事专横，但是是好的那种，1990年代中期和古德伯格相识后，古德伯格对她十分痴迷。切森回忆说：“古德伯格彻底爱上她了，哪怕她已经跟别人订婚、结婚。”桑德伯格的朋友、Launch联合创始人鲍勃·罗拜克(Bob Roback)回忆道，桑德伯格结束了第一次婚姻后和别人约会，古德伯格仍旧围着她转，甚至帮她和她当时的男朋友搬家。2004年，他们终于结婚了，那时候朋友们才想起来他们俩是多么的相似，桑德伯格的个性可能吓跑了一些男人，却让古德伯格对她更加着迷。

Over the next decade, Mr. Goldberg and Ms. Sandberg pioneered new ways of capturing information online, had a son and then a daughter, became immensely wealthy, and hashed out their who-does-what-in-this-marriage issues. Mr. Goldberg’s commute from the Bay Area to Los Angeles became a strain, so he relocated, later joking that he “lost the coin toss” of where they would live. He paid the bills, she planned the birthday parties, and both often left their offices at 5:30 so they could eat dinner with their children before resuming work afterward.

在接下来的十年里，古德伯格和桑德伯格开创了获取在线信息的新方式，生育了一对儿女，获得了极大的财富，并且解决了夫妻分工的问题。对古德伯格来说，往返旧金山湾区和洛杉矶两地上下班成为了一种负担，所以就选择了搬家，后来他还开玩笑说自己在掷硬币决定住哪里时输了。他付账单，她筹办生日派对，两人经常在5:30离开办公室，先和孩子们一起吃晚餐，然后再接着工作。

When Mellody Hobson, a friend and finance executive, wrote a chapter of “Lean In” about women of color for the college edition of the book, Mr. Goldberg gave her feedback on the draft, a clue to his deep involvement. He joked with Ms. Hobson that she was too long-winded, like Ms. Sandberg, but aside from that, he said he loved the chapter, she said in an interview.

夫妇俩的朋友、金融高管麦勒迪·霍布森(Mellody Hobson)一次为《向前一步》的大学生版撰写了一个关于有色人种女性的章节。古德伯格对初稿给予了反馈，体现出他对这本书的积极参与。古德伯格开玩笑说，霍布森和桑德伯格一样，说起话来滔滔不绝，不过，他表示很喜欢霍布森撰写的这一章节，霍布森在采访中说。

By then, Mr. Goldberg was a figure of fascination who inspired a “where can I get one of those?” reaction among many of the women who had read the best seller “Lean In.” Some lamented that Ms. Sandberg’s advice hinged too much on marrying a Dave Goldberg, who was humble enough to plan around his wife, attentive enough to worry about which shoes his young daughter would wear, and rich enough to help pay for the help that made the family’s balancing act manageable.

古德伯格那时候已经成为万人迷，看过畅销书《向前一步》的许多女性读者们会想，哪里才能找到这样的一个男人。有些人则对该书感到失望，认为桑德伯格的建议过于强调要嫁给戴夫·古德伯格这样的男人：一个足够谦逊而围着妻子转的丈夫，一个体贴入微关心小女儿应该穿哪双鞋子的爸爸，一个足够有钱请人帮忙以维持家庭平衡的男人。

Now that he is gone, and Ms. Sandberg goes from being half of a celebrated partnership to perhaps the business world’s most prominent single mother, the pages of “Lean In” carry a new sting of loss.

古德伯格的去世使桑德伯格从知名夫妻拍档的一员变成了商界最有名的单亲母亲，《向前一步》中的文字添上了一种痛失至亲的伤感。

“We are never at 50-50 at any given moment — perfect equality is hard to define or sustain — but we allow the pendulum to swing back and forth between us,” she wrote in 2013, adding that they were looking forward to raising teenagers together.

“我们从来都不是五十对五十的状态——完全的平等很难定义或者维持——但我们愿意让彼此之间的钟摆来回摇晃。”，桑德伯格在2013年写到，并且表示他们很期待一起养育子女。

“Fortunately, I have Dave to figure it out with me,” she wrote.

“幸运的是，戴夫会和我一起想办法解决”，桑德伯格写道。