让你初次约会取得完胜的十大关键(上)

So you've worked up the courage to ask someone out on a date. Or better yet, you've graciously accepted someone else's offer to take you out. Congratulations! Now you're filled with a strange mixture of excitement and dread. You're excited to enjoy a night out on the town, and you're excited at the prospect of meeting someone new and potentially finding your Mr. or Mrs. Right. However, at the same time, you're scared of all the things that could go wrong. What if it's impossible to carry a conversation? What if the two of you have nothing in common? What if I don't make a good first impression? What if you say, wear or do the wrong thing? Luckily for you, we have compiled the top ten tips for a perfect first date. So take a deep breath, relax, and read on to find out how to impress your guest. Follow these tips and you can be sure that you'll be scheduling a second date before the night is over.

你终于鼓起勇气把某人约出来了！或更好的情况：你欣然答应了某人的邀约！那么恭喜你啦！现在你的心情肯定既激动又紧张。华灯初上，夜景迷人，此情此景，让你欢呼雀跃，你渴望认识一些新朋友，甚至找到你的真命天子或真命天女。但同时，你又害怕事情发展得并不那么顺利。如果话题中断了怎么办？如果你和对方没有共同话题怎么办？如果你没有给对方留下好印象怎么办？如果你说错话，穿错衣服或做错事了怎么办？看到这篇文章，是你有福了，我们整理了十条打造完美初次约会的贴心提示！所以请深呼吸，放轻松，耐心看文，肯定有一条建议让你心动，记忆深刻。如果你照着以下建议做了，说不定你当晚的约会还没结束，对方就会与你相约下一次见面。

tion, Location, Location

10.地点决定成败

The first step to setting up the perfect first date is choosing the perfect location. When picking a venue, try to learn a little bit about your date first. A hike might be a really fun first date for someone adventurous who loves the outdoors, but a high-maintenance person may loathe the experience. You can often garner clues to what someone would enjoy from friends, social media, or even the way that someone dresses and presents themselves.

打造完美初次约会的第一步，就是要选择最佳约会地点。选择约会地点前可以试着多了解一下你的约会对象。对那些喜欢户外运动，喜欢冒险的人来说，远足是一个非常不错的选择。但对一个养尊处优的人来说，他可能会厌恶这项活动。你可以从约会对象的朋友、社交网站，甚至是他/她的穿衣风格和表现自我的方式来搜集他/她的相关信息。

Incorporating a fun activity into your date can be a great way to keep things interesting. Depending on the personality of you and your date, consider visiting a museum, an aquarium, a theater, a sporting event, a local music show, or an art gallery. These options all provide the perfect blend of meaningful conversation and pleasant distraction. You could also incorporate some physical activity into your date. You can visit a driving range, a mini-golf course, an ice skating rink or a bowling alley. The low-stress environment will help you both feel relaxed and comfortable, and the friendly competition can light a spark between you and your date. Having an activity built into the date also gives you something to focus your attention on when conversation lags. Of course, a nice dinner out is always a classic date-night choice. The right restaurant can provide you with a romantic and quiet setting which gives you an opportunity to spend the evening talking and getting to know each other. You may be tempted to choose a favorite restaurant that you are familiar with, but think about being adventurous and trying somewhere out of the ordinary that neither of you has been to. The new, shared experience will be something that you can bond over. Whatever location you choose, be sure to run the idea by your date first. You don't want to make reservations at a Brazilian Steakhouse only to learn that your date is a vegetarian.

在你们的约会中安排有趣的活动，不失为一个不错的方法，可以让你的约会顺利进行。基于你和约会对象的性格，考虑是去博物馆，水族馆，电影院，体育场，还是音乐厅，或者艺术馆。以上选择都可以提供让你们话题不断，愉快地消遣。你也可以在约会中安排一些体育活动。你们可以去高尔夫练球场、迷你高尔夫球场、溜冰场，或是保龄球场。这些低压力的环境会让你们感到轻松和舒适，并且友好的比赛会在你和约会对象之间擦出火花。体育活动还可以让你们在没话聊的时候有事可干。当然，和约会对象享受一餐丰盛的晚宴通常也是经典的晚间约会选择。选择正确的餐馆会给你们营造浪漫和安静的氛围，还会提供你们了解彼此的机会。你可能想选一个经常光顾且钟爱的餐馆，但是不妨大胆尝试一下你们俩都没去过的地方。共同的经历将会是加深你们情感的要素。不管你选择什么样的地点，首先一定要考虑到约会对象。如果你的约会对象是个素食主义者，你就不要想着预定巴西牛排餐厅了。

's Company

9.两人成伴

The best first dates have an intimate and private interaction that involves only two people. The worst first dates are those that include your friends, family, children, colleagues or other important people in your life. By including people who are close to you, your companion will feel like they are at an audition rather than a date. That's a lot of pressure for somebody who you've just met. It may be tempting to ask your date to a house party that your friend is hosting or a gallery opening that your sister is featured at, but it's not a good idea. Your first date needs to be a time when you focus on getting to know each other without any outside distractions. If the two of you click, there will be plenty of time down the road for your family and friends to meet him or her.

最完美的初次约会是只属于两个人的亲密交流。最糟糕的初次约会是带着你的朋友、家人、孩子、同事或其他对你来说重要的人。如果约会中有和你关系近的人参与，你的约会对象会觉得谈话不便，不像个约会。对那些你才认识的人来说，他们会感到压力很大。如果你邀请约会对象去你朋友主持的家庭聚会，或者你妹妹的画廊展览，可能会有点吸引力，但是并不是一个好主意。在第一次约会中，你们应该心无旁骛的了解对方。如果你们俩一拍即合，接下来你的家人和朋友会有很多机会见他/她。

s for Success

8.制胜穿搭

On a first date, first impressions are everything. Whether you like it or not, how you present yourself in terms of your wardrobe and personal grooming make an immediate impression upon people. Your dress will be used to make a snap judgment, good or bad, on you as a person. That is why it's so important to put careful thought into the image you will convey on your date.

对于第一次约会而言，最重要的就要属第一印象了。不论你情愿与否，那些从衣橱里精心挑选出来的衣服和自己悉心描画的妆容都会影响他们对你的第一印象。你的穿着直接就会影响到他们对你本人人品是好还是坏的判断。这下你就知道约会前，仔细考量个人形象有多么重要了吧！

Don't get dressed for a date in an outfit that you would never normally wear. Stick to your own personal style, or else you'll be uncomfortable in your own skin throughout your date. If you are a jeans and tee type of gal, don't show up for a date in a skin-tight leopard-print dress. Instead, pair your favorite jeans with a killer pair of heels and a flowing top. You'll be more comfortable and you'll be showing a true sign of your personality. When in doubt, wear red. Numerous studies, including one in the European Journal of Social Psychology, have shown that men rate females who are wearing red as more attractive. Finally, when getting dressed, always remember how important it is to leave something to the imagination! If you're a guy who lives in khakis and polo shirts, don't show up at your date with a patterned button down dress shirt with cufflinks and a pocket kerchief. Instead, opt to wear your khakis with a simple white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. This will help showcase your casual style while still showing that you put some thought and care into your date. Be yourself, because confidence is attractive. If you stay true to your personal style, you will also display a more accurate reflection of your personality. Regardless of what you decide to wear, it's important to make sure that you are well groomed. Make sure your nails are clean and trimmed, get your facial hair or eyebrows in check, and spritz on your favorite fragrance. When applying cologne or perfume, remember that less is more! Ladies, stick to your normal beauty routine. A first date is not the time to test out fake eyelashes or a finicky new hairstyle.

约会的时候，可千万不要穿那种你平时都不会穿的套装。保持你自己平日的风格就好了，不然，整个约会过程你浑身都不会舒服到哪儿去。如果平日里你是一个走T恤牛仔休闲风的姑娘，约会的时候可就别穿什么豹纹紧身裙啦！还不如穿上你最喜欢的牛仔呢，再配一双酷酷的高跟鞋，戴一顶小帽子。不仅舒服的多，还能表现出你真实不做作的个性。如果你还是有所犹豫的话，就穿红色吧！包括欧洲社会心理学杂志在内的大量研究书籍都表明，男性认为穿红色衣服的女性更有魅力。最后小编还要说，换衣服的时候一定要时刻记着，你的穿着对于你的形象塑造格外重要！如果你是一个穿惯了卡其裤和polo衫的小伙子，约会的时候可就别穿什么一板一眼有袖口有方巾口袋的衬衫啦！相反，穿上你的卡其裤，再配一个简洁的白色礼服衬衫，随意的将衬衫袖子卷起来吧。这不仅展示了你的休闲风格，也表明你对于这次约会是有想法和考虑的。做自己，自信的人是最有魅力的。忠于自己的风格，也会更准确的显示出你的个人品质。当然咯，不管你最终决定要穿什么，都一定要将自己梳妆打扮得好好哒！看看指甲是不是修剪干净啦，胡子是不是刮干净啦，眉毛是不是修的得体啦，最后，别忘了喷上你最喜爱的香水。在用古龙水或其他香水的时候，切记，少即是多！美女们，化着你们日常的妆容就很美啦，第一次约会可不是检验你假睫毛和新潮发型的时候！

Up the Conversation

7.避免冷场

A good conversation is an expertly balanced back and forth dialogue, where each person spends as much time listening as they do talking. When you're on a first date, it's important to be sure you aren't the one doing all the talking. If you relentlessly ramble on about yourself, your date will find you both narcissistic and boring. If you are at dinner and you realize the other person is almost done with their meal while you haven't barely made a dent in yours, then that's usually a good sign that you're talking too much.

完美的交谈应该是能巧妙平衡来回交流的对话，当他人说话的时候，我们也要花尽可能多的时间去倾听。第一次约会的时候，千万记得不要做那个喋喋不休的人。如果你一直喋喋不休，你的约会对象一定会觉得你既自恋又乏味。要是在饭桌上，当你发现别人盘子里的东西都快要吃光了，而你的食物还没怎么动的时候，这就意味着，你真的说太多话了。

Of course, you may end up sitting across from a date who is shy and reserved. You may only be rambling on because you're trying to fill gaping holes in the conversation. Instead, try a new tactic where you ask questions to draw them into the conversation. Show that you are interested and genuinely curious, and ask open-ended questions to help pull your date out of their shell. There are some tried and true conversation topics that can put you and your date at ease while giving you both a chance to learn about each other. Find out where your date has traveled, or ask if they have any upcoming vacation plans. Ask about their hobbies and relate some information about yours. Other great bonding topics include favorite sports teams, pets, books, movies and music. On a first date, be sure to steer away from controversial topics like religion, politics, or gossip about mutual friends or acquaintances.

当然，你也有可能和一位保守而害羞的对象面对面坐着约会。为了防止对话太过空洞，你可能只能东拉西扯了。那么，尝试一种新的战术吧，问一些能把他们吸引到谈话里的问题吧。在交谈的时候，一定要表现出对话题既感兴趣又好奇，不要停留在约会的固有模式中，记得问一些开放式的问题。在这里给你提供一些屡试不爽的话题吧，不但可以使你的约会怡然自得，还可以给你们了解对方的机会。问问你的约会对象都去哪里玩过，或者下个假期想去哪吧。或者问问她们的爱好，跟你有关的信息也行。还有一些特别好的话题，比如最支持哪支球队啦，最喜欢什么样的宠物啦，最爱读什么样的书啦，最常听什么样的音乐啦，等等。这是你们的第一次见面，可千万别问那些有争议的问题，什么宗教信仰、政治大事、介绍人或共同朋友的八卦真的是大忌。

Non-Verbal Cues

6.读懂肢体语言

Humans have an endless amount of ways to communicate, and they don't always involve talking. Being able to read and react to nonverbal cues is extremely important on a first date. Body language can provide key insights into how someone is feeling, and it accounts for up to 55% of how we communicate.

人类有无穷无尽的交流方式，并不总是通过口头说话。学会识别非口语提示在第一次约会中显得极其重要。肢体语言是洞悉一个人感受的关键所在，它占我们交流的55%。

If someone is enjoying their time with you, they will exhibit positive body language which can include moving or leaning closer to you, maintaining eye contact for a longer period of time, looking down and away out of shyness, and holding their limbs in an uncrossed, relaxed manner. If someone is uncomfortable on your date, they will exhibit negative body language which can include moving or leaning away from you, looking away to the side, rubbing the back of their neck, crossing their arms or legs, or standing with their feet pointed away from you. If you think that you are noticing some negative body language from your date, don't psych yourself out that it's not going well. People's comfort levels fluctuate frequently throughout a first date, and it is often simply due to anxiety and feelings of awkwardness and has nothing to do with their feelings for you. Take note of what types of conversation promote positive body language cues, and focus on similar topics. Similarly, take note of what your own body language may be conveying. If you are in an air-conditioned venue, you might have your arms wrapped tightly around you because you're cold, but your date may think that you are uninterested in them. If you are twirling your hair because it is a nervous habit, your date may mistake your body language for boredom.

如果某人享受和你在一起的时光，他们将会表现出积极的肢体语言。比如说，与你靠得更近，保持长时间的目光交流，因为羞涩而向下看或转移目光，以及将手臂以一种放松的姿势摆放。如果你的约会对象与你约会时感到非常不爽，他们将展现出消极的肢体语言。比如说远离你，将视线移至两侧，摸自己的后颈，交叉他们的双臂，或者是脚尖朝向你远远地站着。如果你在约会中察觉到一些消极的肢体语言，不要暗自菲薄，悲观地以为进展不顺。在第一次约会中，人们的舒适度自始至终都在经常性地起伏波动，它常常仅与尴尬的焦虑感有关，而非对你不满。记住能够带来积极肢体语言的谈话类型，并关注相关话题。同样，要注意自己可能传输出去的肢体语言。如果你呆在一个空调房里，你可能因为寒冷而紧紧地抱住自己的手臂，但是你的约会对象很有可能会认为你对他（她）不感兴趣。如果你撩拨自己的头发，你的约会对象很有可能误会你感到无聊。

审校：晃晃 编辑：旭旭 来源：前十网