时尚双语:友谊也有"七年之痒"

【英文原文】

摘要：社会学家Gerald Mollenhorst研究了我们遇到朋友的环境是如何影响我们的社交网络。他其中的结论之一是：每隔7年你要失掉大约一半关系紧密的社交好友。

Had a good chat with someone recently? Has a good friend just helped you to do up your home? Then you will be lucky if that person still does that in seven years time. Sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst investigated how the context in which we meet people influences our social network. One of his conclusions: you lose about half of your close network members every seven years.

Half Of Your Friends Lost In Seven Years, Social Network Study Finds

You are stuck with your family but you can choose your friends. Really? For years sociologists have argued to what extent personal networks are the result of your own preferences or the context in which you can meet someone. Would your best friend have been your best friend if you had not been in the same class for three years? And if you had not got to know your wife via mutual friends but in a dodgy bar then would she still have become and remained your wife?

In order to answer such questions, Mollenhorst conducted a survey under 1007 people aged between 18 and 65 years. Seven years later the respondents were contacted once again and 604 people were reinterviewed. They answered questions such as: Who do you talk with, regarding important personal issues? Who helps you with DIY in your home? Who do you pop by to see? Where did you get to know that person? And where do you meet that person now?

Limited in your choices

Mollenhorst investigated, for example, whether the social context in which contacts are made influences the degree of similarity between partners, friends and acquaintances. It was expected that the influence of social contexts on similarity in relationships would be stronger for weak relationships than for strong ones. After all, you are less fussy about your choice of acquaintances than your choice of partner. In relationships with partners, Mollenhorst indeed found more similarity than in relationships with friends. Yet interestingly, the influence of the social context on similarity did not differ between partners, friends and acquaintances. This reveals how strongly opportunities to meet influence the social composition of personal networks.

With his research Mollenhorst has confirmed that personal networks are not formed solely on the basis of personal choices. These choices are limited by opportunities to meet. Another strong indication for this came from the fact that people often choose friends from a context in which they have previously chosen a friend. Moreover, the extent to which our friends know each other strongly depends on the context in which people meet each other.

Individualism

Many sociologists assume that our society is becoming increasingly individualistic. For example, it is held that we strictly separate work, clubs and friends. Mollenhorst established, however, that public contexts such as work or the neighbourhood and private contexts frequently overlap each other.

Furthermore, Mollenhorst's research reveals that networks are not shrinking, whereas American research reveals such a decline. Over a period of seven years the average size of personal networks was found to be strikingly stable. However, during the course of seven years we replace many members of our network with other people. Only thirty percent of the discussion partners and practical helpers still held the same position seven years later. Only 48 percent were still part of the network. Therefore value the friends you have. As long as you have them that is.

【中文译文】

近和某人进行了一次不错的聊天？刚刚让一个好友帮助装饰你的房子？如果这个人在7年的时间里仍然还这样做的话，那么你是很幸运的。社会学家Gerald Mollenhorst研究了我们遇到朋友的环境是如何影响我们的社交网络。他其中的结论之一是：每隔7年你要失掉大约一半关系紧密的社交好友。

社交网络研究发现，在7年的时间里你失去了一半的朋友

你和家庭保持紧密的联系，但是你能根据自己所爱来选择朋友。真是这样的吗？个人社交网络在多大程度上是你自己选择的结果还是你遇到他人时候所处的环境影响的结果，多年以来社会学家对此一直争论不止。如果你和你最好的朋友没有同班三年的话，他（她）还可能是你最好的朋友吗？如果你不是通过你的好友认识你的妻子，而是在一个糟糕的酒吧里认识的，那么她仍然能和你结婚吗？她仍然和你厮守着吗？

为了回答这些问题，Mollenhorst对1007人进行了一个调查研究，这些人的年龄在18至65岁之间。7年以后，Mollenhorst又和这些受调查者联系上，并且对其中的604人再次进行了调查。他们回答了诸如一下的一些问题：就一些重要的私事来说，你和谁交流？对家里需要自己动手做的事情中，谁会帮助你？你会不期而至地拜访谁？你以前在哪里认识的这个人？你目前在哪里遇到这个人？

你的选择有限

比如Mollenhorst研究了交往发生的社交场所是否会影响伴侣之间、朋友之间以及熟人之间的相似程度。人们曾预计，在伴侣关系中，相比于牢固的伴侣关系，社交环境对相似性的影响对脆弱的伴侣关系的影响更大。毕竟，和选择伴侣相比而言，你在选择认识一些泛泛之交的人的时候就没有那么挑剔了。相比于朋友之间的关系， Mollenhorst确实在伴侣关系中发现了更多的相似性。不过令人感兴趣的，社交环境对相似性的影响在伴侣之间，朋友之间，以及熟人之间并没有区别。这显示了遇到朋友的机会对个人社交网络的组成的影响是如何之强。

根据这项研究，Mollenhorst证实，个人社交网络的形成并不仅仅基于个人的选择。这些选择受限于遇到他人的机会。另外一个支持该说法的强有力的事实是：人们在选择朋友的时候，经常在以前选择过的社交环境中进行选择。而且，我们的朋友相互认识的程度强烈依赖于人们相互认识时所处的环境。

个人主义

许多社会学家假设，我们的社会变得越来越个性化。比如，人们认为我们严格把工作、社交俱乐部以及朋友区分开。但是Mollenhorst的研究认为，公共社交场所比如工作或者邻居以及私人社交场所经常相互重叠。

另外，Mollenhorst的研究显示，尽管美国的研究表明（美国人的）社交在减少，但（全球的）社交网络并没有缩小。研究发现，在7年的时间里，个人社交网络的平均大小令人惊奇地平稳。但是，在7年的时间里面，我们社交圈子里面的人有进有出。7年以后，仅仅只有30%的伴侣和真正的朋友仍然保持着同样的关系，只有48%的人仍然在我们的社交圈子里。因此只要你有朋友的话，珍惜你所拥有的吧。