双语散文:岳母大人

The In-Laws

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity,demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.

While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. When ever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.

Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say 'Yes, it was.' The men would then ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't, it's all
booked up for a year.'"

1. in-law：[常作复数]姻亲。

2. 一位新婚的农夫和他的妻子接待妻子母亲大人的来访，这位母亲一到就要求看看他们的农场。newlywed: 新婚的。

3. 这个农夫很真诚地尽力以友好的态度对待他的新任岳母，希望建立起友好的，而非对抗性的关系。genuinely:真诚地，真心地；antagonistic:对抗（性）的，敌对（性）的。

4. 然而，一切都是徒劳，岳母大人一有机会就不断地指手画脚，不停地要求改这换那，不断地提出不受欢迎的建议，终于使农夫和他的新娘对这种日子感到忍无可忍。avail：帮助，效用；nag：（以不断的指责、抱怨、要求）使烦恼，不断地找…… 的岔子。

5. 农夫的骡子突然暴跳起来，正好踢中岳母的头。

6. 尽管他们对她的专横苛求不满，但还是觉得很突然。

7. funeral：葬礼；casket：(尤指昂贵而有华丽装饰的)棺材；greet：迎接，招呼；folks：亲属。

8. pastor：(基督教的)本堂牧师；whisper：低声说出，秘密(或私下)告诉。

9. mumble：含糊地说，咕哝地说。

10. 牧师对农夫的古怪行为很好奇，就问他到底是怎么回事。

11. 多么不幸的事啊。

12 .不行，（这头骡子）已经订满一年了。