幽默趣味英语小笑话

“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面本站小编为大家带来幽默趣味英语小笑话，欢迎大家阅读!

幽默趣味英语小笑话：爸爸写的遗嘱

My father, who was 14 years old than my Mother, had been working on his will. At a family dinner he told us that he had provided well for mother, but the family home would go to us five children if she remarried.

我爸比我妈大14岁，最近一直在写遗嘱。一次家宴上，他告诉我们说他为母亲以后的生活作好了安排，但如果她改嫁的话，家里的房子将归我们五个孩子所有。

"I don't want another S.O.B. toasting his shins(小腿骨) around my fireplace," he explained.

“我可不愿意另外哪个狗娘养的在我的火炉旁烤他的狗腿，”他解释道。

With a sly grin, Mother cracked, "What makes you think I'd marry another S.O.B?"

妈妈狡猾地咧了咧嘴，讥诮道：“你怎么认为我会再嫁给一个狗娘养的?”

　幽默趣味英语小笑话：三个商人的不同招牌

Three competing store owners rented adjoining(毗连的) shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem(故意的伤害罪，蓄意的破坏) to ensue.

三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺，旁观者等着瞧好戏。

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!

右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：大减价!特便宜!

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!

左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：大砍价!大折扣!

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：入口处。

幽默趣味英语小笑话：园艺手套

For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you'll notice that my hands are bare."

几个月以来，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的结婚戒指，因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天，我正在干园艺活时，丈夫问我想要什么礼物，我举起双手说：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的两手都是光光的。”

Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped(打开) a new pair of gardening glove.

那天晚上，我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的礼物，“生日快乐!”他说。我打开一看：里面包着一双园艺手套。