简洁英语幽默笑话大全
冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。下面小编整理了简洁英语幽默笑话，希望大家喜欢!
St Peter's question
圣彼德的问题
Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, "There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?" The doctor answers, "The Titanic" and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, "How many people died in that ship?" Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, "1 500!". St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice, "Name them!".
有三个人死了，分别是一名医生、一名会计和一名律师。他们来到了圣彼德面前。圣彼德对他们说，如果他们想进入天堂，就得每人回答一个问题。圣彼德看着医生开始发问，“以前电影院放过一部电影，说的是一艘船撞击冰山后沉没，电影的名字是什么?” 医生回答，“<<泰坦尼克号>>”，医生随即被允许进入天堂。然后圣彼德看着会计说，“船上有多少人遇难?”。会计很走运，因为他刚看过这部电影，回答道，“1500人遇难。”圣彼德把会计也放进天堂了。最后，圣彼德转过身，看着律师，非常严肃地用命令的口吻问道，“把1500人的名字都说出来?”
经典简洁英语幽默笑话A smart housewife
精明的家庭主妇
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half ofthe coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stovecan save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了!一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗?”
关于简洁英语幽默笑话Be Careful What You Wish For
慎重许愿
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day.
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a lovingcouple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had thetickets in her hand.
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like tohave a woman 30 years younger than me."
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。
简洁英语幽默笑话欣赏Expensive Advice
昂贵的建议
The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who soughtadvice on a health problem.
大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后，最后来到餐桌上。
"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.
“你认为我应该向她收费吗?”大夫问坐在身边的一个律师。
"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."
“有什么不应该?”律师答道，“你通过提建议提供了职业性服务。”
"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."
“谢谢，”大夫说道，“看来我得这么做。”
When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found aletter from the lawyer. It read:
第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时，他收到律师的一封信。信中写道：
"For legal services, $50."
“请付法律服务费50美元。”
简洁英语幽默笑话品味A Bad Impression
一个坏印象
My husband and I are both writers. During dinner conversations, we often tell our childrenabout our working days. It wasn't clear how much they absorbed until one day I overheard myseven-year- old, Lucy, cry out in frustration at her five-year-old sister, Charlotte, "You, editor!"
我丈夫和我都是作家。晚夕谈话中，我们经常给孩子们谈到我们的工作。没人清楚他们听懂了多少。直到有一天，我偶然听到七岁的女儿卢希烦恼地向她五岁的妹妹喊道：“你，你----你这个编辑!”
