最经典英语幽默笑话大全
笑话和幽默的感染力,很大程度上依赖于修辞格的运用。把修辞格有意识地运用到笑话幽默的创作中去,能够为人们提供更好的精神产品。下面是本站小编带来的最经典英语幽默笑话，欢迎阅读!
Hands off 不要动
A friend of mine was giving an important dinner party for her husband's business associates.
She put guest towels and soap in the bathroom, and, not wanting her teenagers to use them first, attached warning notes that read:"Use these, I'll kill you."
When the guests left after a successful evening, she went into the bathroom and found towels and soap untouched…with her warning notes still on them.
我的一位朋友为他丈夫举办了一次很重要的业务往来交往招待会。
他把客人用的毛巾、香皂都放在洗澡间。为了不让她的小孩们先把这些东西用了，她在上面贴了张条子。上面写着：用一下，我就杀了你们。
当客人们度过一个很愉快的晚上满意而去后，她来到洗澡间，发现毛巾和香皂都无人用过…因为她贴的条子还在上面。
最经典英语幽默笑话篇二True feelings 真情
We were leaving a football game in a throng1 of people.
My husband, who never displays affection in public, took my hand. I has delighted. As we walked hand in hand out of the stadium. I looked up at him, smiling, and asked, "You don't want to lose me?"
"No," he said. "I don't want to look for you."
我们和一大群人在橄榄球比赛散场时纷纷撤离比赛场。
我那位从未在大庭广众之下流露感情的丈夫这时拉住了我的手，我非常高兴。当我们手拉手往体育场外走时，我抬着头看着他并笑着问：“你不想失去我，对吗?”
丈夫回答道：“不是，我只是不想去找你。”
最经典英语幽默笑话篇三A Welcome Guest 受欢迎的听众
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor, my two-year-old daughter Melissa, wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and, to my dismay, Melissa sat down in the front row.
When I went in to get her, the instructor1 stopped me. "Young lady," he said, "I have been teaching calculus2 at this college for over 20 years. Not once in that time has anyone come to my class just because he or she wanted to. The child may stay."
一天下午，在我和一位教授说话的时候，我两岁的女儿玛丽莎转到了附近的一个教室里。那儿正在上数学课。更糟的是玛丽莎还居然坐在了前排的座位上。
当我走进去想把她抱出来时，上课的教授拦住了我。她说：“这位女士，我在这所大学里已经教了20多年的微积分。在这期间从未有人是出于自愿来到我的课堂，这个孩子可以呆在这里。”
最经典英语幽默笑话篇四Friends of a feather 禽以毛聚
An American tourist was lunching in a restaurant in China, whose specialty1 was roast duck. The waiter explained each dish as he brought it to the table: "This is the breast of the duck. This is the leg of the duck. This is the wing of the duck…"
Then came a dish that the American knew was chicken. He waited for an explanation. Silence.
"Well," he finally asked, "What is this?"
"It's a friend of the duck," said the waiter.
一个美国的游客来到中国，他到了一家专营烤鸭的饭店进餐。服务员每次端上来一道菜都给他报上菜名：“这是鸭胸，这是鸭腿，这是鸭翅……”
这时又上的一个菜，那个美国人一看便知是鸡，但他想听听服务员会怎么报这个菜名。他等着，服务员却一个字也没说。
“唉!”他终于忍不住了，“这个菜叫什么?”
“这是鸭的朋友。”服务员答道。
最经典英语幽默笑话篇五A Better Mailman 一个更好的邮递员
I worked as a mailman for a short time. However, I am afraid of dogs and I had a lot of trouble.
One day I tried to deliver some letters to a big house. I started to open the gate and all of a sudden a huge dog ran towards growled1 and barked at me, I threw the letters over the fence. The dog picked them up and carried them into the house. The dog was a better mailman than I was!
我当过很短时间的邮递员。然而，我害怕狗，而且也有过不少麻烦。
有一天，我设法到一座大房子去递送几封信。我开始打开门，这时，突然一只很大的狗朝我跑来。它朝我嚎叫、咆哮着，因此我把信件扔在了栅栏上。那只狗拾起那些信件，把信件带进了大房子。比起我来讲，那只狗是个更好的邮递员。
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