英文短笑话
笑话作为一种典型的幽默现象,对其进行系统的研究对于阐释幽默现象具有举足轻重的作用。下面是本站小编带来的经典短篇英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
How Long, Doctor? 要多久,医生?
When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.
手术后第二天，外科医生去看他的金发碧眼的美女病人，她有点吞吞吐吐地问他多久以后她能恢复性生活。
Uh, I hadn't really thought about it" replied the stunned surgeon. You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy."
“啊，我真的从来没想过这点!”医生万分惊谔，“你是第一个做了扁桃体切除手术后问我这种问题的人!”
经典短篇英语笑话篇二Have you ceased beating your wife你停止打你老婆了吗?
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses.
这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师，他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.
有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释。
“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辩护律师怒喝道： “你没有必要就这个问题进行争论。”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.
“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。
“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.
“不存在这样的问题!”律师厉声打断他。
“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife?”
“噢，”证人说：“那么请你回答这个问题：“你停止打你老婆了吗?”
经典短篇英语笑话篇三I am acting like a lady我要表现得象位女士
One day when womens dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store， a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece.
一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位看起来很高贵的中年男子想给太太买一件。
But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could; then， with head lowered and arms flailing， he plowed through the crowed.
但是不久他就发现自己被疯狂的女人们挤得不成样子了。 他尽力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，猛烈地舞动着手臂挤过人群。
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Cant you act like a gentleman?" "Listen，" he said， "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour.
“你干嘛?”有人在尖叫，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗?” “听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。
From now on， I am acting like a lady."
从现在起，我要表现得象位女士。”
经典短篇英语笑话篇四Headstone墓石
A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.
一个姓Strange的律师去买墓碑。他选好了以后，石匠问他，要在墓碑上刻什么碑铭。
"Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter.
律师回答：“这里长眠着一个诚实的人，一个律师。”“对不起，我办不到，”
"In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave.
石匠说，“要是这样的话，违反了一个坟墓只能埋葬一个人的法律。
However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer.
不过，我会刻上：‘这里长眠着一位诚实的律师’。律师抗议：“但是那样人们就不知道这里埋葬的是谁啊!”
"Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
“当然知道啦，”石匠反驳道，“人们看到会惊呼‘太奇怪了!’”
经典短篇英语笑话篇五They Are directly from America它们是从美国带来的
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.
一位中国老太太去美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿给她的美元。
At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money.
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后她实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。
They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
这些都是真正的美元，它们都是直接从美国带来的。”
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