简短爆笑英文笑话欣赏

前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,英语笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。本文是简短爆笑英文笑话，希望对大家有帮助!

　　简短爆笑英文笑话：Bad Shape

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup,the doctor

called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a

very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your

husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try to be

pleasant in general, and make sure he stays in a good mood. For lunch make him a

nutritious meal. For dinner prepare something nice and healthy again. Don't burden him

with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will

only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several

times a week and satisfy his every whim. "If you can do this for the next 1 to 2

months, I think your husband will regain his health completely. On the way home, the

husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "You're going to

die," she replied.

　　简短爆笑英文笑话：Letters Of Love

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, myboyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"

　　简短爆笑英文笑话：Dead Husband

A woman goes to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the woman stares at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the singleflickering candle, then down at her hands.

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question. "Will I be found guilty?"

　　简短爆笑英文笑话：Dating A Dentist

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.

The girl watches him and says, "You must be a dentist."

The guy, surprised, says "Yes ... how did you figure that out?"

The girl says, "Easy... you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, "You must be a great dentist."

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Yes, I sure am a great dentist... How did you figure that out?" The girl says, "Easy... I didn't feel a thing!"

　　简短爆笑英文笑话：Tatoo Gift

It's a couples Anniversary and the woman decides to do something nice for her husband so she goes to a tattoo parlour and says "can I have the initials of my husband tattooed onto myass please? I would like 'b' on one cheek and 'b' on another cheek."

After the tattoo is finished she goes home pulls her trousers down and bends over infront of her husband and her husband says "Who's Bob?!."

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