工作中需谨慎的谈话,论高效沟通的技巧大纲

“我想加薪”
'I want a raise'

Before asking for a raise -- even if you need and deserve it -- it's easy to let self-doubt take over: What if your boss doesn't think you're worth the extra money? What if your boss hasn't had a pay bump for a while, either, and labels you a complainer?

即使确实需要、而且也应该涨工资，要求加薪前人们仍很容易自我质疑：如果老板认为不值得给自己加薪怎么办？如果老板有一阵子没给人加薪了怎么办？或者，让老板觉得你总爱抱怨又该怎么办？

Lobbying for a better salary or perks shouldn't jeopardize your career, though, if you do it the right way -- especially if you're a valued employee, says Joseph Grenny, who wrote the bestselling Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.

畅销书《关键对话：高效沟通的技巧》（Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High）一书的作者约瑟夫•格雷尼指出，争取更好的待遇或者津贴不应该威胁到一个人的工作，但前提是你要采用正确的方法——特别是在得到赏识的时候。

The key to getting what you want? Stick to the facts, Grenny advises.

那么得偿所愿的关键是什么呢？格雷尼的建议是，忠于事实。

"First, research salary data online to find out what other people get paid for jobs like yours in your geographic area," he says. "Then, be ready to give solid evidence for why your performance merits more money."

他说：“首先，上网研究一下薪酬情况，弄清楚本地区和自己从事类似工作的人拿多少工资。然后，准备有力的证据来说明为什么你的工作表现值得加薪。”

Whatever you do, don't say you need more money for personal reasons (no matter how urgent), says Grenny.

格雷尼还建议，不管做什么，都不要说自己出于个人原因而需要提高工资（无论有多么紧急）。

To make it easier to sell the idea to higher-ups, "you want your boss to see this as an informed business decision, not a charitable contribution," he says.

他说，为了让公司高层更容易接受你的观点，“你要让老板觉得这是他在了解情况后做出的商业决策，而不是在搞慈善捐款。”
'My performance review was unfair'

“我的业绩考核不公正”

If your annual review didn't reflect your true wonderfulness, don't stew in silence, says Joseph Grenny, an executive coach at VitalSmarts, a leadership development firm in Provo, Utah.

约瑟夫•格雷尼是一位经理人教练，他所在的领导力开发机构VitalSmarts设在犹他州普罗沃市。他说，如果年终考核没有真正体现出你的出色之处，不要保持沉默。

Even the best-intentioned leaders are so overworked in these lean times that your achievements may sometimes slip past them. Or they may blame you for a problem when there are other, fixable reasons why it's occurring.

即使最善意的领导在提交工作报告前也可能因为过度繁忙而忽略你的工作成绩。或者，他们可能因为某个问题责怪你，但出现这个问题确有理由，而且这个问题可以得到补救。
"Saying nothing may be a bigger risk than speaking up," says Grenny.

格雷尼说：“沉默不语的风险可能比有话直说还大。”

Since a so-so (or worse) appraisal in your HR file could unfairly block you from bigger career opportunities down the road, "you need to calmly set the record straight" about specific comments or complaints you believe are inaccurate, says Grenny.

他指出，如果人事档案中的考评结果为一般（或者更差），那就可能不公正地妨碍你在今后的工作中得到更好的机会。因此，“你需要冷静地说明”，你认为哪些评价或批评并不公允。

Also ask your boss to go into detail about what he or she needs from you. Try to get insights into how this manager defines a job well done, says Grenny, and be prepared to do more listening than talking.

同时，你要请上司详细说明他（她）对你有什么样的要求。格雷尼说，要设法弄清楚上司如何定义出色地完成工作，还要准备好多听少说。

Grenny also advises: "Ask for more frequent feedback -- maybe even once a week -- so you can make course corrections if needed, long before your next formal evaluation."

他还建议：“你要请对方更频繁地提供反馈，甚至可以每周一次。这样你就可以在需要的时候作出调整，而且这种调整要远早于你的下次正式考核。”
'Something shady (or illegal) is going on'

“有人正在做可疑（或者非法）的事”

Let's hope you never work for a Bernie Madoff type. But if you discover bad deeds are happening in your company, what can you do? Say nothing to your boss, and you risk seeming complicit in the wrongdoing. Speak up and you could earn that dreaded label, "not a team player."

但愿你永远不会碰上伯纳德•麦道夫这样的上司。但如果你发现自己的公司里出现了不端行为，你能做些什么呢？对老板守口如瓶有可能让你背上和坏人串通一气的罪名，检举揭发则可能让别人认为你“不可共事”，这个标签同样可怕。

Luckily, you can be a whistleblower without blowing your career, says Grenny. You'll need to be diplomatic, though.

格雷尼说，幸运的是，你可以在不影响自己工作的情况下发出警告，但你需要像外交官那样行事。

"Start the conversation by sharing your good intentions and stressing that you have the boss's best interest in mind," Grenny suggests. "Explain the negative consequences you think will follow if the behavior continues." After all, bilking customers, deceiving investors, and other dodgy practices have been known to destroy companies, taking thousands of careers straight down the tubes. Remember Enron?

格雷尼建议：“首先你要说明自己是出于善意，同时强调你考虑的是老板的最佳利益。然后解释一下，你认为如果这样的行为继续下去会产生什么样的不利影响。”毕竟，人们都知道蒙蔽客户、欺骗投资者以及其他不诚信的行为能毁掉一家公司，进而造成数千人瞬间失业。大家应该还记得安然（Enron）事件吧？

If your boss pooh-poohs your worries ("This is how we've always done it"), or even retaliates against you (goodbye, raise), take your concerns upstairs.

如果上司对你担心的问题不屑一顾（“我们一直这么干”），甚至对你表示不满（说声再见，然后起身离开），那就把你发现的问题报告给更高层的管理者。

"At that point, it's appropriate to approach your boss's boss," Grenny says. "But, so you don't seem to be going behind your boss's back, suggest that the three of you meet together."

格雷尼说：“在这种情况下，找你老板的老板是恰当的做法。不过，这会让你显得不服从直接上司的指挥，所以建议你们三个人面对面地谈一谈。”

What if the rot seems to go all the way up the organization chart? In that case, start looking for a new job.

如果问题似乎一直牵连到公司最高层，那该怎么办？这种情况下，你最好另谋高就。
'I'm not getting what I need to do the job'

“我没有得到完成工作所需要的支持”

If you're coping with outdated equipment, vintage software, pointless paperwork, unrealistic deadlines, or a perennial shortage of skilled support staff, it's much harder to work efficiently. And you may blame your boss for being unsupportive or just clueless.

面对过时的设备、陈旧的软件、缺乏条理的文件和不切实际的截止期限，或者一直缺乏技术熟练的支持性人员，高效地开展工作就会变得难得多。而且你可能会觉得老板不支持你，或者说完全不了解你的工作。

Don't charge into your boss's office when you're completely fed up with the situation, though, says Grenny. Instead, schedule a meeting, and keep in mind that your boss is almost certainly not trying to make you miserable.

但格雷尼认为，就算已经忍无可忍，也不要贸然闯进老板的办公室。相反，要安排一次会面。还要记住的一点是，几乎可以肯定，老板本已上并不打算让你陷入这种糟糕的境地。

"Start the conversation with curiosity rather than anger," Grenny suggests. So the boss isn't tempted to tune you out, avoid accusatory, judgmental, or inflammatory language.

格雷尼建议：“要以疑问的态度开始这场对话，而不是愤怒。”这样老板就不至于对你置之不理。还要避免责难，妄下断言，也不要逞口舌之快。

Instead, calmly describe the gap between the support you need and the support you're getting, Grenny advises.

他说，相反，要冷静地说明你所需要的支持和你得到的支持之间有什么样的差距。

"Explain why you're concerned, with emphasis on your common goals," he says. "Next, invite dialogue. Your boss may see the problem differently. If you're open to others' points of view, they'll be more open to yours."

格雷尼指出：“解释一下你感到担心的原因，要把重点放在你们共同的目标上。接下来，主动交流。你的老板可能从另一个角度来看待这个问题。如果你对别人的观点持开放态度，他们也会更容易接受你的观点。”
'Your strategy is ridiculous'

“你的策略很可笑”

Ever think, "If I were in charge around here, we'd go in a whole different direction..."? The safest option, of course, is to keep that opinion entirely to yourself.

你是否有过这样的想法：“要是由我来负责，我们就会朝着截然不同的方向努力……”当然，最安全的做法是把这种想法完全留在心里。

But if your corporate culture encourages debate and consensus, respectfully disagreeing can pay off. Just make sure it's clear you have the best intentions for doing so, Grenny says.

但格雷尼指出，如果你的公司文化鼓励通过辩论达成共识，以尊重的态度提出不同意见会带来回报。但一定要让别人明白，你这样做是出于善意。

"You want to establish up front that, far from trying to undermine your boss, you're offering a different viewpoint that might help," he says.

他说：“要充分表明，你提出的不同观点可能有用，而绝不是要挖老板的墙角。

It's not so much what you say as how you say it, Grenny notes. So tread softly and ask lots of questions. Lay out facts supporting your view that a given plan won't work, then keep reassuring your boss that your goal is to help the whole team succeed.

格雷尼认为，怎么说比说什么更重要。所以态度要温和，还要问许多问题。用事实来说明你为什么认为某项计划不会奏效，而且要向老板表明，你的目的是帮助整个团队取得成功。 他指出，得体地就现状提出不同意见能体现出你的关切之情。这样，“你的开诚布公就可能让老板的态度变得更加坦诚。”希望是这样。