70后父母推荐给孩子的十部电影

Somehow, I am 39. I am 39, even though I still feel like I am maybe 17 and I still look around for thereal "grown-ups." As I stare down 40 and gear up for another phase of life, I find myself going back to the things that comforted me when I really was a teenager, and TV and movies were both very big parts of growing up for me in the '80s and early '90s. I cut my teeth on old school Sesame Street and The Electric Company, I grew up with the Cosby Show and Family Ties and later 90210, and the movies I watched over and over starred people like Molly Ringwald, Andrew McCarthy, Ethan Hawke and a whole lot of hairspray. Recently, I realized -- with some amusement -- that a few of the lessons I am trying to teach my kids didn't come from my parents or from school. Instead, they came from scenes in those movies that I can still recite in my mind:

不知不觉我已三十九岁了，我三十九了，尽管有时候我以为自己还是十七岁，甚至还把年长的人看做“大人”。我等待着四十岁的来临，准备好进入人生另一个阶段，这时我却开始怀念起少年时的事物来了，它们曾给我以慰藉。上世纪八九十年代，我尚年幼，青春岁月都由电视和电影伴我渡过。孩提时期，我爱看《芝麻街》（Sesame Street）和《电力公司》（The Electric Company），然后是《考斯比一家》（Cosby Show），《家族的诞生》（Family Ties）以及后来的《比佛利山庄90210号》（90210），这三部电视剧则一路伴我成长。这些经典的影片也捧红了不少明星，例如莫利·林沃德（Molly Ringwald），安德鲁·麦卡锡（Andrew McCarthy），伊桑·霍克（ Ethan Hawke ）等等。年岁渐长，我才惊奇地发现学校的老师和家长并没有教会我多少经验，反倒是那些从小看到大的影片使我受益匪浅，种种人生意义我都从中学得，至今仍没有忘记，我甚至还想要告诉我的孩子。

1. Each of us is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. (The Breakfast Club)

1.我们每个人都是书呆子、运动员、神经病、公主和罪犯的集合体。电影：《早餐俱乐部（The Breakfast Club）

Even in sixth grade, my oldest is starting to classify himself and his friends. I did the same thing at his age; I know how it goes in middle and high school. But I try to remind him that everyone he meets has so much going on behind the façade he sees in the hallways at school -- that everyone is fighting a hard battle of some sort, and that no person fits neatly inside a simple label. It's a lesson I learn over and over again, even as an adult. In the end, as Patrick Dempsey's "geek turned chic" says in another favorite, Can't Buy Me Love: "Nerds, jocks. My side, your side... It's hard enough just trying to be yourself."

我的大儿子在六年级的时候就开始给同学分类。当年我也这么干过；中学时期，青少年总是渴望标新立异，脱颖而出。但是我还是试图告诉他，学校里的每个人都有不为人知的另一面——每个人都有难处，不能轻易为他人贴上标签。在今后的生活中，我反复印证了这一点。此外，在电影《爱情买卖》（Can't Buy Me Love）中 ，帕特里克·德姆西（Patrick Dempsey）扮演的角色经历种种，最后由“怪胎”变成了“帅哥”，坦言道“运动健将，蠢货。你来我往……做自己太难了。”这部电影我也很喜欢。2. The world is full of guys. Don't be a guy; be a man. (Say Anything)

2.这世界上到处都是男的。做个男人，别就当个男的。（电影《情到深处》）

In high school, my main goal in life was to be average. I didn't want to stand out; I wanted to blend. I think most teenagers do, as standing out is perceived as a bad thing too often at that age. But one thing I definitely want my boys and my daughter to know is that the world is, indeed, full of guys, as Lili Taylor's character states to John Cusack's Lloyd. I am trying to teach my children to strive for more than average, not to be afraid to be exceptional. I want them to do the right and genuine thing, even when it's harder, or even when it leaves them vulnerable. I hope they have standing-in-the-rain-with-boombox moments of their own someday.

高中时，我只想做个普通人。我不再成天想着要脱颖而出；我选择混入人群，掩藏自己。我相信不少青少年也有过这种心理，因为在那个年纪，大家都很排斥标新立异。但我想让我的儿子女儿知道这样一个事实：电影中莉莉·泰勒（Lili Taylor）扮演的角色曾对约翰·库萨克（John Cusack）扮演的劳埃德（Lloyd）说道，我努力得教导我的孩子，教他们不做普通人，教他们勇于突破。我希望他们遵循自己的内心生活，即使这条人生路困难重重，即使这样做等于把自己置于风口浪尖。我仍希望他们有一天能拿着收音机站在风雨中。3. Your mom and dad were young and clueless and angst-ridden once, too. (Back to the Future)

3.你的爸爸妈妈也曾年少无知，焦虑不安。电影《回到未来》）（Back to the Future）

It was something of a revelation for me when I saw Michael J. Fox's Marty McFly interact with his parents as awkward teenagers in Back to the Future. As Marty observes his dad's teenage cluelessness, he says, "It's a wonder I was even born." Part of my job, I feel, is to allow my children to know that I was in their shoes once, and I still don't know everything... but I know more than they do. For now. OK, maybe not when it comes to new math, but still.

当年我观看这部电影，看到迈克尔·J·福克斯（Michael J. Fox）扮演的马丁·麦克弗莱（Marty McFly ）回到过去，同十几岁时的双亲交流时，不禁有所顿悟，马丁看到父亲的窘态，忍不住说道：“他能追到我妈，我还能出生真是个奇迹。”而我作为一个父亲，我觉得，有必要让我的孩子知道，我也曾像他们一样经历过种种喜乐困苦，但是我仍不能彻底顿悟……但是我还是比他们懂得多 。现在嘛，翻开新版课本让我解数学题我可能做不出，但是我还是比他们懂得多。4. Sometimes awesome people might "live to like you," and you might not feel the same way. That's OK. (Pretty in Pink)

4. 有时，可能会有优秀的人说“我活着就是为了爱你”，但你却并不爱他们，那也没关系。电影《红粉佳人》（Pretty in Pink）

I loved Andrew McCarthy. I loved him even more when Blane really did want Andie back and sought her out at the prom. But I also struggled with the fact that I loved Jon Cryer's Duckie, too -- that his adoration for Andie seemed so simple and easy and loyal in comparison. Is it OK to pick the Blanes of the world over the Duckies? I think sometimes it is, especially when you are young and still learning about yourself and relationships. Inevitably, people are going to like my children that my children might not like back in the the same way, and vice versa. The trick, then, is to teach my children to treat people with respect and care, even if they can't return the same level of feeling. After all, you can't love someone back out of obligation. That's not the way it works.

我崇拜安德鲁·麦卡锡（Andrew McCarthy）。电影《红粉佳人》里布莱恩（Blane）期盼着安迪（Andie）能够回来，他目光殷切，在舞会中搜寻着安迪的身影，这段表演十分真实，我更喜欢他了。但是我也喜欢乔恩·克莱尔（Jon Cryer）扮演的达奇（Duckie）——相比之下，他对安迪的爱更单纯，更纯粹，更忠诚。安迪最终选择了布莱恩而非达奇，她的选择正确吗？我想，在某种条件下，特别是在你尚年轻，还没能了解自己，还没理清身边人的关系时，这种选择是正确的。事实往往如此，有人会爱上我的孩子，而他们却不打算回应，反过来也是一样。我想通过这部电影告诉他们一个道理：与人交往时，即便不能回应同样的感情，也应给予他们应有的尊重。总之，你不能出于责任义务而接受你不爱的人，这不是爱情。5. No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world. (Dead Poets Society)

5.不管别人是怎么跟你说的，我要告诉你的是，语言与思想具有改变世界的力量。电影《死亡诗社》 （Dead Poets Society）

We can bemoan the dominance of the Interwebz and social media in modern life all we want. We can justifiably grieve the fall of the local bookstore. The truth is, though, that ideas and words are still -- maybe even more than ever -- powerful tools for change; they just travel (quickly) in a different format. I want my children to remember the power of their words, especially when they give them over to the Internet. Robin Williams's John Keating was not teaching his students about social media, but I am. The message stays the same. Words and ideas can change the world, and I want mine -- and my children's -- to change it for the better.

我们往往会抱怨互联网和社交媒体占据了生活的全部，我们也会为传统书店的衰落感到痛心。但事实是，文字和思想——也许更甚从前——仍有改变世界的力量；他们只是（飞速）演化成了不同的形式。我希望我的孩子能意识到自己说过的话的重要性，特别是在网上发布言论时。罗宾·威廉姆斯（Robin Williams）扮演的约翰·基廷（John Keating）老师并没有和学生谈及社交媒体的影响力，但是我却和我的孩子说过。但我们所要表达的意思是一样的：文字与思想具有改变世界的力量，我希望我的孩子——和他们的后辈——能利用好这一点，让世界变得更美好。6. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

6.人生太匆匆。你若不偶尔停下来看看周围，就会错过很多风景！电影《春天不是读书天》（Ferris Bueller's Day）

When I was driving my oldest son to school this morning, he made a remark about how I "always" make a big deal out of his mistakes and bad choices at school and, he feels, not enough of a big deal about the things he does well every day. He might have a point: I have high expectations, and it freaks me out a little when he strays off-path, especially now that he is getting older and the stakes are a little higher. But I do want him to break the rules sometimes. I want him to skip school every once in a blue moon, go on adventures with his friends, dance and sing Beatles songs in a parade. I admit that I can be a little uptight about school, but I want my kids to step outside the box of our days sometimes and, honestly, I need to do that more often too. Anyone know where I can find a 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California Spyder?

今天早晨，我开车送大儿子去学校，他开口问我为何“总是”夸大他在学校里犯的错和做的错误的决定，而不关注他每天取得的成绩。他说对了一点：我对他的期望过高，所以他一有变坏的倾向，我就神经紧张，特别是随着他日渐长大，犯错付出的代价也将更大。但是有时候我也希望他能打破常规，活得自由自在。我希望他能难得翘一次课，和朋友去探一次险，唱着披头士（Beatles）的歌参加一次游行。我承认，我很在意他在学校的表现，但是我也希望我的孩子们偶尔能跳出常规的生活，老实说，我自己也需要摆脱束缚，释放压力。有谁知道哪能弄到辆法拉利250 GT 1961敞篷款？10. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line. (The Princess Bride)

10.死神来临时，别与西西里岛人对抗。电影《公主新娘》（The Princess Bride）

This one speaks for itself, yes?

有这句话就够了，不是吗？

7. Say "bless you" when someone sneezes. (Singles)

7.当别人打喷嚏的时候，对他说“上帝保佑你”。电影《单身一族》 （Singles）

One of my favorite scenes in Cameron Crowe'sSingleswas when Bridget Fonda's character bemoans lowering her standards for her love interests. She had started out looking for someone with "looks, security, caring, someone who has their own place, someone who says, 'bless you' or 'Gesundheit' when I sneeze, someone who likes the same things as me but not exactly, and someone who loves me." She had since "scaled it down" to "someone who says 'Gesundheit' when I sneeze, although I prefer 'bless you.' It's nicer." It might sound funny, but I have found myself consciously thinking of this line when I sneeze in front of my boys. I always prompt them to say "bless you," because it's just a nice thing to do -- and it is a reminder to be polite and considerate in an age when our noses are too often buried in our smartphone screens.

电影《单身贵族》由导演卡梅伦·克罗（Cameron Crowe）执导， 布里吉特·芳达（Bridget Fonda）扮演的珍妮抱怨自己找对象的标准降低了。起初，她要求那个人要“外表英俊，有安全感，待人体贴，有地位，当我打喷嚏时，会说'上帝保佑你'或是'祝你健康'，和我有相似的兴趣爱好，但又不完全相同，还有，他要爱我。”后来，她“降低了标准”：“我打喷嚏时，他也可以说'祝你健康'，虽然我更喜欢'上帝保佑你'。”这听起来很好笑，但我发现我当着孩子的面打喷嚏时，忍不住会想起这句台词。再遇到这种情况，我总是督促他们说“上帝保佑你”，因为这句话能为你加分——如今人人都低头看智能手机，我们确实需要这句话来督促自己礼貌处事。8. We are all Goonies. (The Goonies)

8.我们都是小精灵。电影《七宝奇谋》（The Goonies）

The Goonies, complete with its Cyndi Lauper anthem, was one of the movies I loved in my own awkward tweenhood. My favorite line is actually at the end, when the kids are reunited with their parents and Data's father tells him, "You are my best invention." We are all Goonies, and we are all valuable and loved. I hope my children know that no matter who they are, no matter how they show their inner Goonie-ness, they are the most important things to me in the world, my "best inventions."

《七宝奇谋》的主题曲由辛蒂·劳帕（Cyndi Lauper）演唱，这部电影点亮了我青涩的少年时期。影片结尾时，孩子们终于与父母团聚，德塔（Data）的父亲告诉他“你是我最了不起的作品。”这是我最喜欢的台词。我们都是小精灵，我们十分宝贵，被人呵护。我希望我的孩子能明白，不管他们长成什么样，不管他们内心如何，对我而言，他们都是我的至宝，我“最了不起的作品”。9. I'll be right here. (E.T.: The Extraterrestrial)

9.我与你同在。电影《E.T.外星人》（E.T.: The Extraterrestrial）

When I first saw the movie theater, I cried hard when he had to leave Elliott. That kind of separation, that permanency of loss was not something I was prepared to handle yet. But when the alien pointed his long, spindly finger into Elliott's chest and said, "I'll... be... right... here," I believed him. That concept -- that we can hold each other in our hearts and transcend time and space -- is a big one for even adults to grasp. When illustrated by a rubbery brown alien with an illuminated finger, it seems more plausible somehow. Ironically.

我第一次看这部电影是在电影院里，电影放到外星人不得不离开艾略特（Elliott）时，我仍不住失声痛哭。那种离别的痛苦与失落，年少的我自觉担负不起。但是当外星人伸出细长的手指，轻敲艾略特的胸膛，吐露心声“我…与你…同在”，我相信了。我相信——我们能将彼此藏在心里，这份真情足以跨越时空——即使是成年人也难以体会。讽刺的是，导演让一个棕色皮肤的外星人作了电影主角，他伸出手指，诠释了我们难以理解的真情，却更具有可信度。