直男们 愿意来一场男男约会吗(上)

THE delicateposturing began with the phone call.

微妙的故作姿态始于一通电话。

The proposal wasthat two buddies back in New York City for a holiday break in December meet tovisit the Museum of Modern Art after its major renovation.

两个在去年12月的假期回到纽约的朋友，决定约着一起去全面装修后重新开门的现代艺术博物馆(Museum of Modern Art)看看。

"Heexplicitly said, 'I know this is kind of weird, but we should probablygo,"' said Matthew Speiser, 25, recalling his conversation with JohnPutman, 28, a former classmate from Williams College.

他也说了，‘我知道这有点怪怪的，但是我们应该去看看，’25岁的马修·斯潘塞(Matthew Speiser)谈到当时与28岁的约翰·普特曼(John Putman)通话时说道。两人在威廉姆斯大学(Williams College)念书的时候是同班同学。

The weirdness wasapparent once they reached the museum, where they semi-avoided each other asthey made their way through the galleries and eschewed any public displays ofconnoisseurship.

来到博物馆，怪怪的气氛就变得很明显了。他们在展厅里走动时，有些特意避开对方，并且尽量避免让自己看上去很会欣赏的样子。

"Wedefinitely went out of our way to look at things separately," recalled MrSpeiser, who has had art-history classes in his time.

我们特地各看各的，曾经上过艺术史课的斯潘塞说道。

"We probably both pretended to know less about the art than we did."

我们拖着步子，假装自己并不太懂艺术。

Eager to cut thetension following what they perceived to be a slightly unmanly excursion -- twoguys looking at art together -- they headed directly to a bar.

两个男人一起去看艺术展，这种行为让他们觉得有点不太爷们儿，因此急切地希望缓解那种紧张状态，于是他们又去了一家酒吧。

"We couldn'tstop talking about the fact that it was ridiculous we had spent the whole daytogether one on one," said Mr Speiser, who is straight, as is Mr Putman.

我们不停地说，我们俩黏在一起已经一整天了，这太扯了，斯潘塞说道；他和普特曼都是直男。

"We werepurging ourselves of insecurity."

我们这是在清除自己的不安全感。

Anyone who finds adate with a potential romantic partner to be a minefield of unspoken rulesshould consider the man date, a rendezvous between two straight men that iseven more socially perilous.

如果你觉得与潜在恋爱对象约会是一个充满了潜规则的雷区，那就想想男男约会，两个直男的约会在社交上的风险甚至更大一些。

Simply defined aman date is two heterosexual men socializing without the crutch of business orsports.

你可以把男男约会简单地定义为两个异性恋男子，进行与生意和体育无关的社交活动。

It is two guysmeeting for the kind of outing a straight man might reasonably arrange with awoman.

两个男性一起出去玩，做一些放到男女之间恐怕就显得合情合理的事情。

Dining togetheracross a table without the aid of a television is a man date; eating at a baris not.

比如在同一张桌子上面对面地吃饭，但又没有在看电视，这就是男男约会；在酒吧吃饭就不是。

Taking a walk inthe park together is a man date; going for a jog is not.

一起在公园里散步是男男约会；慢跑不是。

Attending themovie "Friday Night Lights" is a man date, but going to see the Jetsplay is definitely not.

去看电影《胜利之光》(Friday Night Lights)是，而一起去看航空展肯定不是。

"Sideways,"the Oscar-winning film about two buddies touring the central California wine countryon the eve of the wedding of one of them, is one long and boozy man date.

奥斯卡获奖影片《杯酒人生》(Sideways)讲述了一名即将结婚的男子与另一名男子前往加州中部的葡萄酒产地旅行，这就是一次漫长的、酒意袭人的男男约会。

Although "mandate" is a coinage invented for this article, appearing nowhere in theliterature of male bonding (or of homosexual panic), the 30 to 40 straight meninterviewed, from their 20's to their 50's, living in cities across thecountry, instantly recognized the peculiar ritual even if they had notconsciously examined its dos and don'ts.

尽管男男约会的说法是为了写这篇文章生造出来的，从未出现在关于兄弟情谊（或者同性恋恐慌）的文献里，但受访的30至40名直男——年龄在20几岁至50几岁之间，居于全国各地的城市——立刻就辨别出了这种约会的特别礼仪，即便他们此前并未有意识地审视过参与者该做什么、不该做什么。

Depending on theactivity and on the two men involved, an undercurrent of homoeroticism that maybe present determines what feels comfortable or not on a man date, as MrSpeiser and Mr Putman discovered in their squeamishness at the Modern.

就像在现代美术馆时刻小心翼翼的斯潘塞和普特曼所发现的那样，男男约会中可能出现的一股同性爱暗流，决定着在整个约会过程中什么是让人感到自在或不自在的，具体情况则视约会所牵涉的活动和两个男人而定。

Jim O'Donnell, aprofessor of business and economics at Huntington University in Indiana, whosaid his life had been changed by a male friend, urges men to get over theirdiscomfort in socializing one on one because they have much to gain from theemotional support of male friendships.

印第安纳州亨廷顿大学(Huntington University)商科和经济学教授吉姆·奥唐奈(Jim O'Donnell)说，一个男性友人改变了他的生活，他极力主张男人应该克服在一对一社交活动中产生的不适感，因为男性友谊所能带来的情感支持会让他们获益良多。

(Women understandthis instinctively, which is why there is no female equivalent to the awkwardman date; straight women have long met for dinner or a movie without a secondthought.)

（女人生来就明白这一点，因此女女约会从来都没有男男约会的那种尴尬；直女们总是不假思索地相约共进晚餐或者看电影。