诺贝尔文学经典:《宠儿》第6章Part 4

Sethe moaned. The girl's fingers were so cool and knowing. Sethe's knotted, private, walk-onwaterlife gave in a bit, softened, and it seemed that the glimpse of happiness she caught in theshadows swinging hands on the road to the carnival was a likelihood — if she could just managethe news Paul D brought and the news he kept to himself. Just manage it. Not break, fall or cryeach time a hateful picture drifted in front of her face. Not develop some permanent craziness likeBaby Suggs' friend, a young woman in a bonnet whose food was full of tears. Like Aunt Phyllis,who slept with her eyes wide open. Like Jackson Till, who slept under the bed. All she wanted wasto go on. As she had. Alone with her daughter in a haunted house she managed every damn thing.
Why now, with Paul D instead of the ghost, was she breaking up? getting scared? needing Baby?
The worst was over, wasn't it? She had already got through, hadn't she? With the ghost in 124 shecould bear, do, solve anything. Now a hint of what had happened to Halie and she cut out like arabbit looking for its mother.
Beloved's fingers were heavenly. Under them and breathing evenly again, the anguish rolled down.
The peace Sethe had come there to find crept into her.
We must look a sight, she thought, and closed her eyes to see it: the three women in the middle ofthe Clearing, at the base of the rock where Baby Suggs, holy, had loved. One seated, yielding upher throat to the kind hands of one of the two kneeling before her. Denver watched the faces of theother two. Beloved watched the work her thumbs were doing and must have loved what she sawbecause she leaned over and kissed the tenderness under Sethe's chin.

塞丝呻吟着。这姑娘的手指如此清凉，如此体贴。塞丝盘根错节、秘不示人、如履薄冰的一生稍稍退让了一些，柔和了一些；看样子，她在去狂欢节的路上从携手的影子中找到的一线幸福是可能的——只要她能对付保罗·D带给她的和保留给自己的那些消息。只要她能对付。而不是每见到一幅可恨的画面漂到她面前，就垮掉、倒下，或者哭泣。不是像贝比·萨格斯的朋友，那个以泪泡饭的戴软帽的年轻姑娘那样，表现出一种持久的疯狂。像菲莉丝大妈那样，瞪圆了眼睛睡觉。像杰克逊·梯尔那样，在床底下睡觉。她只想活下去，像她过去那样。独自和女儿待在闹鬼的房子里，所有该死的事情都由她来顶着。
为什么这时候，保罗·D替代了那个鬼魂以后，她却垮了？害怕了？需要贝比了？
最糟糕的已经过去了，不是吗？她已经挺过来了，不是吗？小鬼魂统治124号的时候她还能忍受，能做事，能解决一切问题。如今，有了一点关于黑尔如何如何的线索，她反倒像一只寻找妈妈的兔子一样六神无主了。
宠儿的手指太美妙了。在它们的抚慰下，塞丝再次均匀地呼吸，痛苦平息了。
塞丝来这里寻找的安宁悄悄潜入了她的内心。
我们肯定是个奇观，她想道，于是又闭上眼睛去看：三个女人，在"林间空地"中央，在圣贝比·萨格斯热爱的石头脚下。一个坐着，其余两个跪在她面前，她把脖子伸向其中一个人亲切的双手。丹芙盯着另外两个人的脸。宠儿则看着自己拇指的动作，而且肯定爱着她眼前的这个人，因为她探出身去吻了塞丝下巴下面的柔软部分。