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少儿经典简单的英语小笑话

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少儿经典简单的英语小笑话

  粉红色西瓜Watermelon

A fruit vendor in Philippines sold a watermelon to a woman and assured her that it was very sweet because it was red inside.

在菲律宾。 一个女人从一个水果商那里买了一个西瓜,水果商向她保证这个西瓜非常甜,因为是红瓤的。

As she rode home on a bicycle, the vehicle skidded and the watermelon fell to the street and broke open, the woman was surprised to see that the fruit was pale pink but not red. So she returned with it to the vendor and complained loudly. “Madam,” replied the vendor, “when one falls out of a vehicle to the street, one can expect to turn pale. How about a watermelon?”

当这个女人骑车回家时,西瓜在刹车时掉在地上摔裂了,女人吃惊地发现这个西瓜不是红瓤地,而是浅粉色地。 于是她返回去找水果商理论。 “夫人。 ”水果商回答,“如果一个人从车子上摔倒在地上,也会吓得脸色发白。 更何况是西瓜呢?”

  当敌兵袭击你时

The first sergeant was holding a class on combat for his company. He said,“Jose, what would you do if you saw 700 enemy soldiers coming at you?”

警官正在给他的连队上一堂战斗课,他问:“约瑟,假如你看到有700名敌兵正朝你冲过来,你会怎么办?“

Jose said,“I would shoot them all with my rifle.”

约瑟说:“我会用我的枪打死他们。”

The sergeant asked,“On the fight you see 400 enemy soldiers charging at you. What would you do?”

警官问:“你看到你的右方有400名敌兵正向你扑过来,你会怎么办?”

Jose said,“I would shoot them with my rifle.”

约瑟说:“我会用我的枪打死他们。”

The sergeant continued, “Okay! On your left, Jose, you notice 1,000 enemy soldiers heading straight at you. What would you do?”

警官继续说:“很好,约瑟,你注意到你的左方有1,000名敌兵正直冲你奔来,你会怎么办?”

Jose answered.“I would shoot them all with my rifle.”

约瑟又回答:“我会用我的枪打死他们。”

The sergeant yelled,“Just a minute, Jose. Where are you getting all those bullets?”

警官大叫:“稍等,约瑟,你是从哪里得到这些子弹的?”

The soldier smiled and said, “Where are you getting all those enemy soldiers in the same place?”

士兵笑了笑,说道:“您在同一个地方从哪里把这些敌兵调集来的呢?”

  他懂了He Understood

Two Americans were traveling in Spain.

两个美国人在西班牙旅游。

One morning they came into a little restaurant for lunch. They did not know Spanish, and their waiter did not know English. They wanted him to understand that they wanted some milk and sandwiches

.一天上午,他们走进一家小餐馆吃午饭。他们不会说西班牙语,侍者也不会说英语。他们想让侍者知道他们想要点一些牛奶和三明治。

At first they pronounced the word “milk” many times. Then they spelled it. But the waiter could not understand them.

起初,他们说了好多次“牛奶”,接着又写了下来,而侍者还是不明白他们说的是什么。

At last one of them took a piece of paper and began to draw a cow. He was finishing his drawing, when the waiter looked at it and ran out of the restaurant. “Do you see,” said one of the travelers, “what a pencil can do for a man who has difficulties in a foreign country?”

最后,其中一个人拿出一张纸,画了一头牛。画完后,侍者看了一眼,便跑了出去。“看到了吧,”其中的一个人说道,“一支铅笔对一个身在国外并遇到困难的人来说是多么重要!”

The waiter was back again some time after, but he brought no milk.

不一会儿,侍者回来了,不过拿的却不是牛奶。

He put down in front of the two men tickets for a bullfight.

他在这两个人面前放了两张斗牛的表演票。