经典简单英语笑话摘抄
内涵笑话多超常,能体现说话人的认知操作和知识结构;内涵笑话的转喻式远多于隐喻式,且平均每个内涵笑话拥有1.5个超常表达。下面小编整理了简单英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!
律师和农场主(中英)
A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.
一位来自大城市的律师在一桩诉讼案中，代表铁路部门同一位老农场主打官司。这个农场主的牛在有铁路的地方不见了。他说牛一定是被火车撞了，所以要求赔偿买牛的钱。
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”
案子先要进行公审，才能被送到法庭后面的会议厅里进行讨论。农场主刚一出现，铁路一方的律师就把他拉到了一旁，想进行庭外和解。最后律师尽其所能，说服了农场主，只支付他所要求赔偿的一半。农场主签完了契约，取走了支票以后，年轻的律师为自己的成功感到得意洋洋。他对农场主说:“老头，你知道吗，我本不想告诉你的，刚才我是吓唬你。我本来赢不了这场官司的，那天早晨当火车穿过你的农场附近的时候，司机睡着了，火夫正在餐车里。我根本找不出一个证人。我是吓唬你的。”
The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”
老农场主说:“我要告诉你，小子，我觉得赢了这场官司，我有一些不安心，因为我那头可爱的牛今天早晨已经回来了。”
简单英语笑话鉴赏随你挑(中英)
Two IT guys were walking across the ark when one said, "Where did you get sucha great bike`?"
两个从事信息技术工作的男子穿过公园，其中一个说:“你从哪里搞来了这么一辆好自行车?”
The second IT guy replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want.’ The first IT guy nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit.”
第二个说:“我昨天在街上走，正在想我的工作，这时一个漂亮的女人骑着这车过来。她把车推倒在地上，脱下所有的衣服说:‘随你挑。” 第一个男子点头表示赞同地说:“你选的对，衣服不一定合适。”
简单英语笑话赏析西部的金发牛仔(中英)
Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his am.
故事发生在很多年以前的西部，有两位金发牛仔。一个叫杰夫，一个叫大卫。一天，他们两个人正在一个小酒馆里品尝烈性酒，这时一个男的走进了酒馆，腋下还夹了一个印第安人的头。
The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children.” He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'II give him one thousand dollars.”
酒店老板一边摇手一边说:“我讨厌印第安人，上周那些可恶的家伙把我的谷仓烧为了平地，强暴了我的太太，杀死了我的孩子们，”他接着说:“如果谁能给我带来印度安人的头，我就给他1000美元。”
The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
这两个金发牛仔互相看了看，走出酒馆去寻找印弟安人了。他们走了一段时间，突然看到了一个。杰夫向那个印第安人扔了一块石头，正击中了他的脑袋。印第安人从马上摔了下来，掉到了70英尺深的峡谷里。他们两个人沿着峡谷跑了下去。大卫取出了刀子正准备取下战利品:印度安人的头。
Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave，take a look at this.” Dave replied, "Not now, I’m busy.”
突然，杰夫说:“大卫，快看那边。”大卫说:“现在不行，我正忙着呢。”
Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this.”Dave said，“Look，you can see I’m busy. There’s a thousand dollars in my hand.” But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave，take a look at this.”So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians. Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh. . . my …God…we're going to be millionaires!”
杰夫拍着他的肩膀说:“我真的希望你能看一下那边。”大卫说:“你没看见我正在忙吗，我现在手里可是1000美元呢。”可是杰夫坚持说:“大卫，你一定要看看那边。”于是大卫抬起头来看，原来在峡谷的顶上有大约5000个印第安人。他摇着头说:“我的天啊，我们要成百万富翁了。”
