英语搞笑冷笑话

笑话是一种艺术方法，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。下面是本站小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话，欢迎大家阅读!

　　英语搞笑冷笑话一：He is really somebody他真是一个大人物

My uncle has 1000 men under him.

He is really somebody. What does he do?

A maintenance man in a cemetery.

我叔叔下面有1000个人。

他真是一个大人物。干什么的?

墓地守墓人。

　　英语搞笑冷笑话二：请把胡子还给我

A man who sold brooms went into a barber’s shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.

“Two pence,” said the man.

“No, no,” said the barber. “I will give you a penny, and if you don’t think that is enough, you may take your broom back!”

The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave.

“A penny,” said the barber.

“I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again.”

一个卖扫帚的人去理发店修面。理发师从他那里买了一把扫帚。当理发师给他修面后，问一下他扫帚的价格。

买扫帚的人说：“两个便士。”

“不，不。”理发师说：“ 我只出一个便士，如果你认为不够的话，可以把扫帚拿回去。”

卖扫帚的人拿回了扫帚，随后问修面要付多少钱。

“一便士。”理发师说。

卖扫帚的人说：“我给你半个便士，如果不够的话，请把我的胡子还给我。”

　　英语搞笑冷笑话三：相亲

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

和盲约对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”

　　英语搞笑冷笑话四：

What dog can jump higher than a building?

什么狗比大楼跳的还高?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。

　　英语搞笑冷笑话五：

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.

老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。

One boy throws his bag out the window.

一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。

Teacher: who just threw that?!

老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?

Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

男孩：我!我现在要回家了。

　　英语搞笑冷笑话六：

What has a head, a tail, and no body?

什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?

A coin!

硬币。

　　英语搞笑冷笑话七：

What has one eye but cannot see?

什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?

A needle.

针。

　　英语搞笑冷笑话八：

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.

Wife: "What does that mean?"

妻子：那是什么意思?

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

丈夫：开个玩笑!