关于爆笑的英文笑话精选
笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。本站小编整理了关于爆笑的英文笑话，欢迎阅读!
A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre Museum.
After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, zat is ze reason I stole ze paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make ze Van Gogh."
* See if you have De Gaulle to send zis on to someone else. We sent it to you because we figured, we had nothing Toulouse.
关于爆笑的英文笑话：A drunk decides to go ice fishing 酒鬼钓鱼A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole.
All of a sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice."
The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "as I said before, there are no fish under the ice."
The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish.
Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"
The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "how do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"
"No," the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink."
一个酒鬼想在冰上垂钓，因此，他整理好钓鱼用具后，便四处去寻找钓鱼场所。最终，他发现了一大块冰，就跑到冰的中心开始锯洞。
这时，突然从天空中传来一个急速扩大的声音。“你是不会在冰的下面找到鱼的。”
这个酒鬼朝周围看了看，可是没有一个人影。他又继续锯了起来。那个说话人的声音再次响了起来：“我已经说过了，冰的下面没有鱼。”
那个酒鬼又向四周从高处到低处看了半天，可还是什么也没有看见。他又拿起锯继续往下锯。
他刚要锯冰面的时候，那个巨大的声音喝止他说：“现在，我第三次警告你，这下面没有鱼!”
酒鬼顿时有些惊慌失措，甚至恐惧起来，于是他问那个声音：“你是如何知道这下面没有鱼的?上帝呀，难道是你在警告我吗?”
“不是，”那个声音回答他，“我是冰球场的经理。”
关于爆笑的英文笑话：Return to SenderThere was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that hadillegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those thievingbastards at the Post Office.
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